TAPS arrives at the haunted trailer!
Bobba Fred yelled...."Shit Sissy May....git yer boobs out of the freezer...TAPS is here....damn...I caint believe it...the TRAILER APPARITIONS PARANORMIAL SOCIUTY is gonna be right here in our trailer!"
Sissy May said,"Just in time to show off my new Dale Jr. T shirt...hey Bobba...look...my nipples make Dale's ears look funny!" (Then Sissy May yells to the back of the trailer) "Kids...Jack...Cuntreba...git yer clothes on...we got company!"
Grunt and Jayke bang on the door and Sissy May opens it saying,"Hi boys...come on in...welcome to our home....sorry about the panties and bras on the ceilin' fans...it's laundry day."
As Bobba Fred shook Grunt and Jayke's hands.....Bobba Fred said...."Damn...damn...We watch yer show religerously every Wednesday night....I just know a girl ghost is gonna flash her boobs...see...I figgered it out...ghost don't scream boo....they are tryin' to say boobs...they probly develop a speech impediament from havin' invisible lips...I know quite a few big words...I got a GED.!"
Grunt looked at Jayke and whispered,"Let's get this over with and get the hell out of this dump!"
Jayke called outside to the truck for Stevie Ray and Tangho to bring the equipment in.
Cuntreba and Jack came out of their bedrooms with home made Ghost Hunters T shirts on. Sissy May had written "Ghost Hunters" under the face of Jesus. Stevie Ray glanced at Cuntreba's shirt and screamed,"Jesus!" as he tripped backwards into Tangho.
Sissy May had the kids go to the neighbors and told the team that her and Bobba Fred would just get in the hot tub during the investigation. Bobba Fred told the crew that his grandma and her gay dog's ghost was in the trailer.
Bobba Fred said..."Grandma lived with us 'bout five years back....we still git her Social Security checks and I think she might be a little pissed that I cremated her in a barrel with a blow torch...her stupid gay dog died the next year....I can feel it humpin' my leg every time I wear my star studded leather pants.....me and Sissy May like to play dress up...I'm Elvis and she is Cher."
Stevie Ray and Tangho got the cameras set up and it was time for lights out! Grunt and Jayke went out to the monitors in the van. As they walked out...they saw Bobba Fred filling a galvanized tub, used for watering cattle with a garden hose. Bobba Fred then poured a gallon of gas in with the water and lit it on fire. The blaze shot up ten feet.
Grunt shouted...."What the hell are you doing?" Bobba Fred said...."Duh...it's a hot tub...the gas burns off in five minutes."
Sissy May and Bobba Fred stripped their clothes off and Jayke looked at Grunt saying..."Do you see what I see....pubic mullets?"
The two men rushed to the van and slammed the door shut. Meanwhile....Stevie Ray and Tangho were investigating the trailer. They noticed a slice of pizza laying on the bedside table.
Stevie Ray told Tangho...."I'll give you fifty bucks to eat that slice of pizza." Tangho said...."No way!" Stevie Ray said,"A hundred...shit...two hundred bucks."
Tangho picked up the slice of pizza...took a deep breath and gobbled it down. He got dry heaves for a few moments but kept it down. Tangho screamed...'You asshole...I am never gambling with you again...that was the nastiest pizza I ever tasted!"
They sat on the bed and had and EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) session. Stevie Ray said..."OK grandma...why are you haunting this shit hole?" Tangho said..."Did you marry your brother to have kids like these? They both laughed until they saw a ghostly male face slowly sticking it's tongue out at them and Tangho felt cold hands on his butt.
Stevie Ray and Tangho went out and Grunt and Jayke came in. Jayke held an infra red camera. He saw something with six legs run across the screen and then run by again. Grunt felt a quick tapping on his left leg. Grunt said..."I think we have the gay dog here" His pant leg was dimpling further and further inwards. Grunt kicked his leg really hard and they saw the curtains of the window move like something jumped out!
It was time to end the investigation and wrap it up for the night. Sissy May and Bobba Fred stood up in the galvanized hot tub and waved goodbye as the van sped away!
THE REVEAL!
Grunt and Jayke sat at the kitchen table with their laptop and began telling Sissy May and Bobba Fred the results.
Jayke showed the six legged thing on the screen to them and Bobba Fred said,"Yip...that's grandma...she loved to run on all fours...naked....I remember one time she tripped on a titty and flipped half way across the livin' room."
Grunt said..."Well OK....we had an experience with the gay dog too...I had to kick it off my leg. We picked up the sound after I kicked it....here it is....."Dammit (my voice) and "Bawwwaaawwwaalls!"
Sissy May said..."Grandma taught him how to bark out his body parts."
Grunt told them about what Stevie Ray and Tangho had experienced...the cold hands on Tangho's butt and a ghost slowly sticking it's tongue out at them.
Bobba Fred said..."Hell...that wuz just uncle Ned...he was mute...he use to do the same thing to me when he wanted me to pick him up some Hemorrhoid ointment."
They all shook hands and walked out the door. Bobba Fred said....I hope one of your boys didn't eat that piece of pizza....Me and Sissy May was havin' a food sex feast.....Sissy May couldn't eat mine so I took it out of my tighty whities and I left it on the bedside table.....you boys ever had the crabs?"
