Killer Breakfast Serial

I love sunrise. I have someone here with me. Say hello to the internet world, Valentine. I changed her name to Valentine because her parents named her, Nancy. It must really suck to have your parents name you. Mother let me name myself on my eighteenth birthday. That very same day, I got to go outside without my shirt off! Mother smiled so much that day.

I blew out all of the candles and made a wish that everybody who doesn't smile at me will die. Wishes are for kids you know....they never come all the way true. I am talking the words out loud as I type on my lap top. It would be rude to not let Val...short for Valentine...in on the conversation. She just screamed that, "F" word again and is rattling her cables. I quit using chains because they were too noisy.

I'm afraid I have to pause here and gag her again. Now she is begging me to not gag her. What do you think folks? If Val finishes her bowl of Strawberry Cornflake Jell-O for breakfast....and.....shuts her filthy little face.....I just might consider it. I didn't want to eat my Strawberry Cornflake Jell-O once and Mother put her cigarette out on my tongue.
I have the scar to prove it.

I showed it to Val on our first date. Val didn't like our first date at all. She fell in my trunk. You should see the look on her face. I just told her to quit whimpering and finish her nutritious, fun filled breakfast. Mother invented the recipe for Strawberry Cornflake Jell-O. She was a genius but because she was a woman...nobody would buy her earth shattering idea.

I'll be right back. I have to change Val's diaper. Did you know that you can use coupons on Double Coupon Day and get adult diapers along with other necessities extremely cheap? I bought seven boxes of Jell-O for fourteen cents!

I'm back. Val hates it when I use the wet wipes so much. I want to make sure she is very clean and SHE does not appreciate it! I weighed her three days ago and she still needs to gain at least twenty two pounds to fit in Mother's wedding dress. She is the only fiancée I have ever had that gained any weight. All those others became sickly and I had to let them go to sleep in the bath tub.

I promised Mother that my bride would wear her dress. Like Mother, Val is very pretty and has long blond hair. I wish that everybody out there could TELL Val that curling up in a ball like that can give a person back trouble! She probably can't feel the back pain because I put lots of aspirin in her Strawberry Cornflake Jell-O. I got tired of hearing her complain about her hands.

I'm sorry but a finger has to be broken when an abomination is spoken! Val has been a pretty good girl though. She still has five unbroken fingers. Saying bad things about Mother will not be tolerated! Val just made me laugh! She said that I was going to get caught because the authorities could trace this conversation.
LOL....it would take them years to chase down half of my IP addresses! I was on line before most of the world knew what, "on line" was. I built this lap top from scratch. I am a genius, like Mother.

Wow....Val ate all of her Strawberry Cornflake Jell-O and wants another serving! I guess she must hear the same wonderful wedding bells in her mind...like me. Mother was so beautiful in that wedding dress. She would wear it every November eleventh. We would decorate the house with paper machet and Mother would bake a wedding cake.
You know....I don't think Val has ever seen a picture of Mother. I'll go get one...be right back.

It is really hard to have this conversation with Val crying and screaming! OK...OK....it wasn't Mother's best picture! Her face is a little blue and her neck is broken but do you realize how nearly impossible it is to try and drown a two hundred pound, eighteen year old boy...naked and covered with bubble bath in a bath tub! Then....stuff all that dead fat into your old wedding dress!

Val doesn't realize that calling me a, "Sick and twisted bitch" is going to cost her a snack while we watch, " The Price is Right this morning!"

Oh...I bet you folks would like to know the name I chose? I chose the name, Victor....Mother suggested it.

I became the son that Mother always wanted........my boy will have his bride!

Well....Val and I have to go now. It's near her bath time and I'm getting hot flashes again.