Sissy May and Bobba Fred become Atheists

Bobba Fred came home so angry that when he tripped on the garden hose...he cussed out the cat that was sitting on the air conditioner.

Bobba Fred screamed out...."Sissy May...come here and look at the crap that Baptist church gave us...two cans of beats....four cans of green beans....a pound of Spam and a f***in' box of Wheaties with Joe Namath on the front!"

Sissy May came out rubbing her eyes and said...."I wuz havin' my beauty nap...any way..if you'd quit cashin' and spendin' your unemployment checks at the strip club...we wouldn't need to go beggin' the churches!"

Bobba Fred says....."If a man caint play Tuck a Buck once a week...what the hell good is livin' for?"

Sissy May shouted back...."You don't never tuck no bucks in my undies!"

Bobba Fred grinned and said...."Would ya take a can of beats?"

Sissy May huffed and listened to Bobba Fred rant about reeligion...saying....."I am threw with god.....we went to the Catholic church....the priest was jealous because my 4 way tire tool was bigger than his cross....we went to the Mormons and they threw us out just cause I squeezed the boobs of possible future wives.....now the baptists give us a box of food that Grandma Moses probably carried out of Egypt!"

Sissy May chuckled and said...."So what you gonna be now...one a them Atheists?

Bobba Fred answered...."Hell yes...I'm gonna join up today...look in the damn phone book and find me a Atheist church!"

Sissy May laughed and said...."Atheist don't have no church...they aint even got preachers!"

Bobba Fred snarled saying...."Do too....I learnt in my world histerectomy class that Atheist worship the god of nothin' and I syphered it out myself....I figured they wear big ass zeros on their shirts...they probly sit in their invisible churches and preach about nothin...then take up a collection for the boobie bar."

Sissy May crossed her arms and said....How in the hell did you come up with that....you went from church to boobie bar?"

Bobba Fred said...."If you had a GED...you woulda understood....sooo...in laywoman's terms...boobies look like zeros....there is two zeroes in the word boobies...it's a secret sign...you know...like the Masonites have........hell ..I see Atheist all the time at the race track...they have their wives and girlfriends flash the secret code all around the track...which is shaped like a zero!"

Sissy May said...."That is the most ignernt thing I ever heard...I been flashin' my boobs at the race track since I was 10 years old and I aint never even seen no Atheist!"

Bobba Fred shouted..."Ignernt woman...that's cause they are invisible!"

Sissy May stomped her feet and said..."OK...dumb ass.....git on down to yer invisible Atheist church and beg the invisible preacher for some invisible food!"

Bobba Fred thought for a moment and said...."Well...git my Lynard Skynard shirt and I'll take it out on the deck and paint a big ass zero on it.....then....I will prove to you that I know what I am talkin' bout."

Sissy May did as he said and Bobba Fred left. Four hours later ...he returned.

He stepped in the door and Sissy May said..."Well...I see you have nothin' in your hands."

Bobba Fred grinned saying...."I went to the invisible church..I found it in that lot between Dairy Queen and Beker's Liquor store...stepped in their big ass zero door and nobody was there....I just figured they were all at the boobie bar so I went there...sure enough...Tinsel Tina was on stage...she's a perty fat one....she flopped out that tripple nipple left boob and everybody started screamin' "god...noooo...god!"

Sissy May with an angry look on her face said..."Just another excuse to hit the boobie bar...you are so pathetic Bobba Fred Offin...lie...lie...lie....you are goin' straight to hell!"

Bobba Fred shouted....."There aint no hell...god caint even afford a decent box of free food...how can he pay for the gas bill .......shit ...I bet Atheist got a real nice hell...git to watch red devil boobies and stuff!"

Sissy May twisted her toes in the carpet and said with a sexy voice..."I guess you can have invisible sex from now on....with yer invisible Atheist buddies...let me know how that works out for ya?"

Bobba Fred looked puzzled and said..."Well...I reckon I would look pretty silly humpin' nothin'....I'm sorry Sissy May...I aint gonna be no Atheist no more...talkin' about them red devil boobies sure got me riled up though!"

Sissy may melted and said..."Oh Bobba Fred.....you can be an Atheist if you want to...git the red spray paint and we can play Atheist Preacher and Red Hot Hooker in hell!

As the trailer rocked....screams of ecstasy came from the broken bedroom window...the cat jumped off the air conditioner as Bobba Fred shouted...." Oh...Zero....zero...zeeeeerrroooo!"

The kids...Cuntreba and Jack banged on the bedroom door....asking what they were doing?

Bobba Fred shouted..."Git on back to bed...it's only 2:00 in the afternoon....we are doin' our taxes dammit!