Toy Tears

He read the letter while sitting on his bed by the window:

Dearest Vernon,
I know I should do this face to face but I just can't. I've given you hints about how I feel but you blissfully ignored them. I do love you in a certain way. I know we made plans and talked many nights about being together forever. I know we have slept together countless times and it was lots of fun. I know you've said that I am your only one and you love me so deeply.
I am so sorry but I've realized that I just don't love you that way. Every time I hurt you, I didn't mean to. I do love you so much as a friend. Please believe that. For me, please give it a few months before contacting me. I really need time alone most of all. I can't keep doing this.
Love,
Elizabeth

Vernon read the letter again and again. He looked at the top of the bedpost where Elizabeth had placed her gum in a little girlish way. He reached and pulled the gum away from the walnut knob.

He looked at the gum with a blank stare and put the pink wad of gum in his mouth. Vernon stared at the letter written on blue paper and chewed the gum.

He took the gum from his mouth....stuck it on the top of the front of the letter. He pulled the blind up and stuck the letter on the center pane of glass. He pushed so hard...the glass cracked.

Vernon gazed at the white clouds that were dotting the blue sky and said,"Look at this God...is this love?" He stared at one little cloud that reminded him of an old white Teddy bear he had as a child.

He thought of how he would kick the Teddy bear across the room when he was upset. He had thrown it against the wall and punched it when he was mad at his parents.

He remembered when his mother took it away from him when he stomped on it. She told him,"Hurting your toys won't make you feel any better." He remembered saying back to her just before he was slapped,"Toys don't cry and I hate it anyway!"

Vernon laid across his bed and stared at the letter again. The sunlight through Elizabeth's perfect handwriting made it look like blue stained glass except for the glob of gum. The only feeling he had was wanting to hold that old white Teddy bear.

Elizabeth had broken up a few times with Vernon in the last five years before but never like this. The letter made it official. Vernon sadly thought out loud,"She hates me...like I hated my Teddy bear....but I didn't hurt her at all...she hurt me over and over....I loved her over and over."

Vernon sat up on his bed and wrapped his robe tightly around himself. Two small tears came from the corners of his brown eyes. Soon...the tears poured and Vernon cried his heart empty...with his face buried in his hands.

He settled a little and looked down at the wet sleeves of his white robe. With a slight smile...he spoke to God,"Toy tears."