Blankday/Blackday Mourning

Blankday night alone again.
Alone again. I cry your name
Into the dark; no answer comes
No answer comes, as no-one hears.
What I would do to bring you back-
To call you from beyond the grave;
But life is not the game we played,
And love, it couldn’t make you stay,
And now these sharp-edged memories
Remain.
Refusing just to heal, to be erased.
I try to think of lighter days,
Things which brought hope, those which made light,
Those who created song; the night
Of wonder, when you showed me
Who I was and could be.

Tiny fragments of my heart
Rain down, torn, abandoned,
Fresh hurt, like blood, like ink, engulfs.
Threatens to asphyxiate. Pain

Blackday night alone once more.
Alone once more, but not afraid
Of death; although no answer comes
And though I cannot bring you home
I know that you wait there for me-
The afterlife. My life to be.

One day you’ll heal, they say. One day you’ll heal.