Brindle shanked war, remorseless ire,
scored sod and turf, raked Ranger's fire.
Raven wing flight-feathered night
clawed sense and reason from warriors sight.
Spirits lowing, battle plume tossed,
cattle driven through sulphured mist riposte
of cannon's roar in Earth's fair face;
insult, injured, her human trace.
Dying embers, chance meet in lees fair lough,
rarer leave, in fervour hale and bluff.
Solitude spoils rank, rots file, breaks hearth.
Old bones, wold washed, cold moon reveals.
Wights cry their name, North soothe replies,
Forever Glory, hearts melt in lies.
title edit 14.02.10
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Comments
rjnewlyn | February 9, 2010 - 22:30
I liked this a lot. The alliteration is very effective and obviously suits the genre and subject matter. Reminds me of Chesterton's Ballad of the White Horse - although obviously in a different form.
lenchenelf | February 9, 2010 - 22:39
Thank you, doodling again :-) (minor edit) atb lena
Silver Spun Sand | February 10, 2010 - 00:00
Gosh...wish I could doodle like this. Clever stuff. Admired and enjoyed.
Tina
lenchenelf | February 10, 2010 - 09:11
Thank you Tina, you are very kind :-) atb lena x
jennifer | February 10, 2010 - 17:19
An uncomfortable read, with regards punctuation, short-sharpness and vocabulary, and therefore effective.
The rhymes are fierce. Great imagery.
J x
lenchenelf | February 14, 2010 - 16:29
11.2.10 Hi there! Thank you, yes I was attempting fracture within a fairly tight trad solid rhyme structure, wasn't sure it would carry the weight of disjointed internal nightmarish effect or just look and read plain naff!
Thanks again, atb Lenax
Still tweaking :-)
13.2.10
hmmn, sort of.