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Superb imagery, marred by the initial nursery rhyme reference, which is soooo out of place...

J x

Thanks J, I see your point, but the ref. stays as a keytone for the piece of gradually aging,lacemakers measure their work in inches. The girl replaced by woman, the mother and how some things may fade into unimportance supplanted by a different hue :-) atb L

In that case, I suggest three verses, to represent the three ages of woman you are representing, so that you can really get that across to the reader.

J x

Thanks for the input J, but I saw it as girl, woman, mother superimposed as a fluctuating self-image, the only reason it was seperated into two stanzas was for breathing space, the thought behind the piece did not naturally partition itself chronologically. I did wonder at turning this into a more conventionally stylised piece, but chose to leave it, as I often do with small thoughts, for others to shape the images and their meaning through their own filters and personalise them, as we all do. atb L

Fair enough. I am simply coming at the site from the angle 'Have I taken this piece of writing as far as I can?', that's all.

I can only offer my opinion, which is why we post here. I understand your argument perfectly; you have justfied well! To me, the piece just feels like a work in progress.

J x

Understandable and thanks again, in a sense it is in progress :-) as I hope (probably erroneously) some of the small pieces I offer may engage each reader in the process. I've much to learn :-)
atb L