The Night I Became a Vampire

A Story by Lewis Levinson

It is peculiar how people as a whole regard the sun. Referenced as a literary device, the sun represents hope. It rises from the horizon filling the world with warmth as it brings forth a new day, clearing out the past. Beams parting through darkened rain clouds cut through the despair that looms overhead. With this in mind it is quite ironic how people really react to the sun. On summer days it is too hot and people flee for shade. In the winter it becomes useless as a heat source while blinding all who bask in it as it reflects off the white snow. Over exposure to it leads to death in the form of melanoma. As for me, a few seconds would be all it takes to enter eternal sleep.

I am a vampire. Sunlight is the open flame whereas my skin is paper soaked in kerosene. I think of the sun in two perspectives. I fear it, for all I have been taught, all I know, is that I must be hidden from it or I will surely burn. Unfortunately there is no hard evidence proving this since, according to the theory, anyone of my kind that has tested our vulnerability is no more and albeit from me to test this myself. The second perspective is a deep longing. I know in my mind what the sun is but as time passes I find it becomes harder and harder to actually picture what the sun looks like. The only real memory I have of the sun is the last time I basked in its presence. I am getting ahead of myself, I will come to my last experience with the sun in due time.

You may be asking yourself what this peculiar document you currently possess is all about. Is this a hoax? A joke? Believe what you will but know that I only desire to write my own experiences as I have perceived them. What you read are my own recollections. You may believe this is a work of fiction, not fact. Whatever tickles your fancy is neither here nor there.

My name is Zachary Harris. I was 23 when I was given the gift of eternity. The experience was so extraordinary in my existence, as it was both my birth and my death, which is why I want to put it to ink and paper, making my tale as eternal as I am. I will begin as far back as my preternatural mind will allow me to go. My mortal life was so mundane an existence; a constant cycle of work, school, sleep, and repeat that is was quickly forgotten. Only the last moments of my previous life still cling to my memory. Yet another reason to write them down, a perfect eulogy to what I used to be.

The earliest memory I still retain brings me back to a well-to-do college classroom in the suburbs of Rhode Island. It was mid-day and from time to time I can still remember the warmth of the sun as it bathed my skin, shining through the classroom window. The professor was babbling on about something unimportant. I was slouched to the side, my head resting on my left arm as I scribbled on my notebook absentmindedly. This continued until I was snapped back into awareness when the other students started to leave the classroom. As I gathered my things, I took notice of what I had been scribbling on the notebook.

Before me was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, perfectly shaded with my pencil. In hindsight, I should have found it odd that I had drawn such a perfect picture, as I was not anything of an artist. The woman captivated me. Her white face was framed perfectly by her dark hair. Her bangs were parallel with her eyes. Her eyes…they conveyed such sadness but there was longing behind them, though I couldn’t explain why. I had drawn her eyes peering downward but it seemed as they were looking right at me, similar to one who attempts to hide the fact that they are staring.

Her eyelashes were long and perfect. Her eyebrows thin and slightly curved. Her cheeks lean, but not hollowed like one who has fasted. Her nose was small yet sharp and angular. Her lips were thin but exquisite and I found myself longing to brush them against my own.

“Mr. Harris, are you alright? The lecture is over.” The professor broke me from my gaze. I seemed to have forgotten I was still sitting at my desk.

“Sorry professor, I was distracted. Have a good day.” I said, hurrying out of the classroom. I was done for the day so I hurried off of campus. As I walked to the bus stop I couldn’t get that woman I had drawn out of my head. She was beautiful beyond all comparison. She was enticing yet full of sorrow. I wanted her to jump off of the page so I could embrace her. Comfort her. When the bus finally came I snapped back into reality. How had I really drawn that picture? Was I subconsciously drawing something from a dream? It was hard to say.

On the bus ride home I was caught in a daze, staring out the window as I passed buildings, trees, people, and other cars. I started to see this woman in every dark haired girl that whizzed by. I was fascinated beyond reason. I had conjured up a mysterious woman on paper and was now madly in love with her. Was I losing my mind?

The bus stop was about a half mile from my house and I enjoyed the walk. This particular day, like most others, I would bump into my friend Alex Zane. He chose to work right after high school and was usually done work by the time I stepped off the bus.

“How was class, Zack?” He greeted.

“The usual, what about work?”

“Shitty, customer complaints all day. You know, I wish I could just tell them to shut the fuck up sometimes, you know?”

I laughed. We small talked like this frequently. I always felt there was some resentment in Alex since I continued on to college, but he never let that show. We eventually would part before my house.

“Tomorrow night, McFarlen’s Pub. No excuses!” Alex bid me farewell before I could answer him. That was alright though, I could use a drink or two after this week.

The yard was perfectly cut thanks to the landscapers who cared for our neighborhood. No cars were in the driveway, which was common since my mother was a nurse at the local hospital and my father was always away on business. I enjoyed having the house to myself though, so I had no complaints.

After a quick meal I went to my room to ponder more on my recent artwork. I couldn’t stop wondering why I had drawn this woman draped in despair. My mind kept circling around her until I drifted off to sleep.

Had I dreamed of the woman before that night? I cannot tell you, but on this night I had the most surreal dream. The woman stood before me in a dark room. She was glowing with a pale light that seemed to shine off her white skin. She wore a black dress that wrapped around her breasts, leaving her pale shoulders bare. Her body was slender and her legs were thin as they left the dress at her thighs. She didn’t wear shoes and I noticed that her toenails had an indescribable shine to them. It wasn’t like how one would polish their nails; it was almost like her nails were made of glass.

When she raised her slender arm to beckon me I noticed the same extraordinary glare to her finger nails. Without hesitation I placed my hand in hers and felt not only the pliancy of another’s hand giving to mine, but also a firm solidarity, like a stone. With ease she pulled me close to her and kissed me.

Roxanna. It was if in this kiss she spoke to me. It was more than a kiss. I felt a strange pull from my core. Pain and pleasure spun into one as I lost focus on the dream. Roxanna. I awoke, blinded by sunlight of a new day. Breeze cooled the sweat that seemed to cover my body. That was definitely and intense dream. I didn’t even realize I had opened the window last night. As I pushed myself out of bed I realized I was very weak. I must not have eaten enough last night. No matter, after a good breakfast I would be back to normal.

On my way to the kitchen my neck started to itch. I learned I had two bite marks on the side of my neck. Bugs must have gotten through the window the night before, I surmised. My breakfast was especially satisfying due to my weakness. Though every bite of my eggs and toast was like enjoying these foods for the first time, I was distraught. This fascination I had with the woman I created was comprised of a yearning I did not know I could possess. Last night’s dream had cemented the foundation of my desire.

I wanted to go back to sleep so I could be with this Roxanna. This world where I was awake and getting ready for school was a bitter reality. The more I realized my dream was just that, the more I felt like I had lost a little of myself.

The day went by like a blur. I went through the motions but didn’t retain the memory. Alex met me at the bus stop to drill me on how we would pick up girls at the pub later that night. Though I’m sure I nodded and appeared enthusiastic, I know in my heart I was anything but. After parting with him I was relieved to see I had the house to myself again this evening. I quickly ran to my room and grabbed the picture of Roxanna.

“Where are you?” I said to myself. I closed my eyes and thought of her until I dozed off again. Within a few hours I awoke and was saddened that I had not the same dream, if any dream at all. I saw the sun was still setting outside my window. It was rare when I got to see a sunset so I watched as the sun turned from orange to red and finally get swallowed up by the horizon. As darkness blanketed the sky, sprinkling the air with stars, I thought again of Roxanna. My mind seemed to call out for her when the strangest thing happened.

A warm sensation began to fill my body. I was filled with excitement and an oncoming satisfaction. Every step I took towards my bedroom door brought me closer to this sense of fulfillment. As I walked through the hallway, down the stairs, and out of my house I came to know contentment I had never known before. I knew I was being pulled in some way or another and yet I wanted nothing but to fulfill this longing. As I walked towards the street I had an urge to look up at my bedroom window. As my eyes focused in the darkness my heart skipped a beat. The woman of my dreams, Roxanna, was staring down at me!

A feeling of urgency replaced the lull of satisfaction I had previously felt. Words formed in my head, ‘Come to me’. They were without voice yet the words rang in my head. I quickly ran up my stairs, tripping halfway up. When I got to my bedroom door it was closed. I placed my hand on the door knob to discover it was unexplainably cold. A shiver ran down my spine as I took a deep breath. Before I opened the door I tried to collect myself, and it was at that moment I realized my heart was pounding halfway out of my chest. I was afraid, yet I was exhilarated. I turned the knob.

The first sensation I can remember was that I was both hot and cold at the same time. My skin felt as cold as if the window had been open all night long. My core, on the other hand, was filled with a warm sensation, as though I had just drank a cup of hot, satisfying coffee on a cold winter’s morning. Mixed with these sensations was a deep reverence as I stared at the woman who had plagued my mind’s every moment.

After blinking to make sure I wasn’t dreaming again I absorbed every detail about her. Her skin was even whiter than I had envisioned it in my dreams. Her long dark hair flowed over her shoulders and her bangs danced with the slight breeze. Her face had the same beautiful features I had envisioned before, except when seeing them in person I took notice of the color which was void in my previous visions.

Her eyes were of a grayish blue, calm yet mystifying. Her lips held only a slight pink to them, other than that they were as white as the rest of her. Her outfit had changed from my memory. She wore a gray tank top that was tied to one shoulder, revealing the other shoulder all the way down to the beginning of her breast. She wore black shorts that only went slightly down her thigh, revealing her long slender legs. Yet again she was barefoot, revealing the unnatural shining nails.

“Is there something wrong?” she finally spoke. Her voice was unreal. It was a combination of softness and invulnerability. There was a slight accent to it, though I wasn’t sure what it was. It rang through my whole body yet it was only loud enough for me to hear. I just stared at her trying to hold onto the feeling her voice had born into me. Eventually she took a step closer to me. “There is something completely compelling about you, Zachariah.”

Quite dumbfounded I replied, “Its Zachary…or just Zach.” Immediately my face flushed with color. It appeared she took notice.

“I prefer the antiquity behind your name.” she said with a smirk. Her lip movements were almost jerky and unnatural. “Unless of course, it pains you when I say it…”

“No, of course not!” I rebutted. Something in me wanted only to please her.

“Don’t worry, Zachariah,” she chuckled, “I’m not going anywhere.” It was almost as if she read my thoughts.

“You’re so beautiful.” I stammered. “What is all this? I have been thinking about you constantly for the last few days.”

“I have been thinking of you for almost a year. Do not underestimate your own beauty.” I needed a moment to process this, how could someone this beautiful have been thinking of me for so long, and how come I haven’t noticed her until only a few days ago? “It is only natural for you, I have only made myself apparent to you recently.” Again she responds to my thoughts. My eyes began to stare from her eyes to her lips, then her breasts, and back to her lips. She was breathtaking. “Do you want to kiss me?”

Either my face had been constantly blushing or it became flushed yet again because after she asked me to kiss her I felt hot and embarrassed, shy and excited, happy and scared all in one instant. Before I could form the words to say ‘There is nothing else I would rather do’ she was upon me, I couldn’t even trace her movements. Her hand moved to my lower back. I felt a chill as she touched me, her hand was very cold. There was a strength in her as she pulled me towards her. I complied as I put my hand right above the curve of her waist. Like my dream her skin gave way yet had the hardness of stone, cold stone. Slowly her lips moved to mine. They were soft and cold, but also firm. I parted my lips and tasted a cool sweetness that her kiss fed into me.

Her embrace pulled me deeper into something I could not describe. I was intoxicated by her being, her taste, and even her smell which was just as sweet as her kiss. I had never felt this way from a kiss. My body was tingling throughout every extremity. Then she spoke to me without speaking.

I am lonely. I have chosen you. I have thought long and hard about my decision to be with you. You are an outcast in this world. You wake up, you move about this world, you go home, and you go to sleep. You have been longing for me ever since I made myself visible to you. I want nothing but to give you my gift, but I will not force you. You must ask.

We had stopped kissing but my head was still swooning. My eyes remained closed, grasping onto the last few sensations of our embrace. It was like a surreal dream, she had fed me an idea within a kiss. How was any of this possible?

“There is nothing to ask. I want to be with you Roxanna.” I borderline pleaded.

“Yes, there is something you must ask!” Her voice gained an alarming volume. I almost had the urge to cover my ears. “How is it that you know of me and my name? These things have never left my mouth. You must ask the right questions.” I was not sure what had upset her, but slowly I realized she was right, this was the time for answers.

I thought about her appearance, her feel, the words she put into my head and the question came on its own. “What are you?”

She stared at me for a few moments before answering. “I am eternal. I cannot die nor can I age. But the gift of eternity comes at a price. I will never see the sun again.” Her face remained void of emotion as she said this to me. I knew she was waiting for my reaction. It was almost ludicrous.

“What are you saying?” I scoffed. I racked my brain thinking of what she had described. Soon my mind dwelt on fantasy and horror. Then my neck started to itch. I began to rub the two bug bites when my mind began to solidify on one concept.

Ask me…

“…Vampire?” She smiled as I said this.

“Do you understand what this means?” she asked. Her eyes locked onto mine. As I peered into her eyes they seemed to shift colors, no longer both gray and blue but shifting from one color to the other and back again. They began to shift faster and faster until I became dizzy.

Slowly images filled my mind. Fangs into flesh. Eternal darkness. Blood. Then they broke. “I understand…” I said as I tried to regain my composure.

“Eternity is much longer than one can simply imagine. I have tried to follow its path alone but…” she paused.

“It’s lonely.” I finished for her.

With an irresistible smirk she replied, “Yes. I have been drawn to you but for what reason I cannot explain. Your very being calls to me in a way that pains me and yet brings me total pleasure when you’re near. I almost took you when I first sensed you…”

“You what?” I interrupted.

“Never mind that…it was only a quick impulse that I overcame when I looked into your eyes. You’re as lonely as I am.” I thought about what she meant about my loneliness. It was true that I have always felt disconnected from my friends and family but it wasn’t until that moment that I could finally describe my feelings. I was lonely. “Now before you decide on what you desire I want you to know that if you join me you will never see the sun again. Food and water will become as useless to you as fairy tales. You will never age. You will live while everyone you know and care for dies around you. You will not die however, as long as you only walk under the moon’s glow. I want you to watch the sun rise. I want you to really feel its warmth…” she paused and broke her gaze with me for a moment. I could feel her sadness. “I will return tomorrow night for your decision.”

Before I could respond she was upon me. Her movements were so fast that I couldn’t even see them. Her lips locked onto mine and I tasted the sweetest sensation I had ever felt before that moment. There are no words to do justice to how simply perfect that kiss was. And as quickly as the kiss had come, it was gone, leaving me with a deep void fueled with yearning.

I sat on my bed staring out the window while my mind raced with notions of eternity. How could anything that had just transpired be real? Simply the fact that a beautiful woman was in my room kissing me was as farfetched as I could imagine. The fact that she was a vampire who wanted me to join her forever…it stole my breath away.

Vampire. The word finally began to sink in. She was a killer. She drank other people’s blood, draining them of their very existence. It was horrifying to say the least. On the other hand the aspect of both eternity and leaving my mundane existence behind were so appealing they almost completely made the whole murder argument null and void. Almost. My internal argument was broken when the first gleam of daylight breached the horizon.

The faintest glow of red erupted from the ground. Soon reds became orange as the sun grew larger and larger. Time is no longer something I can truly contemplate; just pictures remain in my memory. I cannot tell you how long it was until the sun became as white as the stars, but I watched until my mortal eyes could no longer bear it. I try my best to hold onto that memory, but I feel it slipping from me as time passes on. Writing it down brings me comfort, knowing the memory can now never be lost, for it remains eternal on these pages.

The rest of the day I walked the street of my town, thinking of all the possibilities. The consequences also remained fresh in my mind. To become what Roxanna is means I will be a killer. Can I take a human life? I lost track of time and remained in a mental haze until I ran into Alex.

“What the hell man? Why didn’t you show at the pub?” he hailed at me.

“I’m sorry…I lost track of time, must have fallen asleep.” I replied.

“Bullshit! You know ever since you went to college you have been sort of a prick! You think you’re better than me, too busy to fit me into your busy little schedule!”

“Hey man, calm down its nothing like that!” I was getting aggravated. What petty accusations. The seed of his jealousy finally sprouted its ugly little head. I had always known he was bitter that I didn’t join the work force with him. It was pointless I thought, though unavoidable. It was at this moment I knew why I had even chosen to go to college. I didn’t have a major, a sense of direction. I was only delaying the inevitable trivial cycle of the working class. I didn’t want to spend my life working to live, living to work, just to grow old and die. And there was my answer. “You know what, Alex? Forget this, you can think what you want, I’m out of here!” And with that, I was gone.

I heard him yell obscenities at me as I lost him to distance. I went home just in time to catch my mother leaving the house. She was a middle aged blonde woman. She was tall and thin with a defeated look in her eyes. She was donning her purple scrubs and it was at this moment I realized I hadn’t even seen her in a few days. When she saw me she looked nervous but recovered quickly.

“Honey? You’re home early, class get out already?” she addressed me in a hurried tone. Something was up but I didn’t really consider it a thing of importance considering what lay ahead when the sun retreated.

“Yeah, it was a short day…” I didn’t want to let her know I was squandering the tuition money she paid by skipping class. She might know soon enough. I was startled when the front door opened and a man I have never seen before came outside. He was on the short side but he was stocky, like he worked out frequently. He was also handsome, and it didn’t take a rocket science to figure out what was going on.

“Uh honey this is…” my mother started.

“Rick Garvis, it’s nice to meet you. I work with your mother.” He said to me as he extended his hand.

“I bet.” I said ignoring his handshake. As I went into my house I realized I wasn’t upset that mother was having an affair. My father’s career always took priority over his family. My mother’s defeated eyes revealed that her futile attempt to keep her marriage aflame had finally died. These petty situations in this meaningless life solidified my decision. I was done with it all.

I laid in my bed for hours waiting for Roxanna. When nightfall arrived I was still alone. I began to drift off feeling afraid that everything that had happened was some deranged hallucination. All of a sudden I felt a cool feeling on my lips, a sweet sensation, a kiss.

When I opened my eyes Roxanna, in her flawless beauty, sat beside me on my bed.

“Is this a dream?” I asked.

With a smile she responded, “No, Zachariah. So, have you made a decision? Will you witness the eternal rise and fall of the stars with me?”

I grabbed her hand and replied, “I will.”

“There’s no turning back, my love. If you choose this you will no longer be alive, and, as you know, only the constant draining of living blood will keep you satisfied. Is this what you really want?”

My hand tightened on hers and I nodded. In an instant she was on me. Her unbelievable strength had pinned me to the bed and I couldn’t budge. I felt a kiss on my neck. Then intense pain. At first I ached as fangs punctured my neck, draining out my blood. For an instant I feared for my life, I was going to die, this was insanity, and I could not stop her. Then something changed. I felt an intense ecstasy and I found myself wanting the blood to leave my body faster.

Images began to flood my mind. Memories, my own memories were passing through me into Roxanna. Every memory of my life passed by me instantaneously yet without time. Every aspect of my life was visible to me as if it was happening again. My whole life was flashing before my eyes, so to speak.

Suddenly the pleasure became an intensifying pain. My heart was beating slow and painfully.

“You are about to die, Zachariah.” Roxanna said lifting her wrist to her face. “The only way to make it through this, love, is to drink,” with her white fangs she gashed open her wrist, “drink from me and you will forever be mine.” Her voice was everything to me now. I could barely see. I could only focus on her voice.

Fire. My mouth flashed with life as a warm substance passed down my throat. It was one thousand times sweeter than her kiss, but it was based with the same pleasurable sensation. Soon my arms were filled with power and they grabbed onto her wrist, pulling it closer, almost devouring it along with the precious blood. I started to experience a new flood of images. Like before they were memories, but they were no longer mine, they were hers.

Like before, they were above time. Each memory passed very quickly but I could remain inside them as if they passed by in real time. The difference was, since these were not my own memories I couldn’t make full sense of them. I was also distracted by the extreme sensation her blood filled me with.

Certain images stood out, and to this day I won’t forget them. The first was of a dark street. Street lights were present every few feet but most were turned off. I was in the place of Roxanna and I was wearing a dark cloak. I was teeming with hunger. A few yards ahead of me was a man, a man who had just slit the throat of a prostitute and had stolen her money. His mind had fed that to me. As he turned a corner into a darkened alley I moved with preternatural speed and was upon him so quick that he became powerless. His blood filled me with images of his brutal murder, and of endless pleasure.

The second memory was filled with gun fire and explosions. I was panicking. My knees and hands were bleeding. I was incredibly thirsty. I found a puddle on the ground and in a moment of hastened panic I drank what I could. Dirt and rust filled my mouth but it was enough. Next thing that happened was a bomb exploded and debris was falling toward me. Before I could even scream I hooded man had swooped me up and delivered me to safety. Though it was night, there was enough gunfire and explosions that it felt like day. The man was cold. His eyes remained hidden in the shadow of his hood. With an incredible speed he carried me far away from all the danger and towards ancient ruins. Upon a large theater the man laid me down. Then fangs were in my neck.

As other memories flooded through me Roxanna finally pulled away. I was disconnected from an eternal source of wonder, and this saddened me. Then I was filled with excruciating pain. I looked over at Roxanna, she looked weary.

“Be calm…you are just dying.” She said with heavy breaths. For some reason I was calm. I knew that though I was dying, it wasn’t the end. My body was on fire. Spasms were occurring everywhere within me. My bowels and bladder began to empty, only for a split second was I embarrassed, but I began to realize I was losing only my mortality. The pain finally ended and I was still conscience. Something, though, had changed.

My room appeared to be breathing. Every color flowed as though it was alive. I noticed strange things, like my digital alarm clock. The red numbers were moving within themselves. The lights shined with slight different variations that I could see clear as day. I moved my head, which felt awkward as I peered at Roxanna. It was done and I knew it. Her eyes were so beautiful. I saw beyond their color to something more. It is impossible to explain but the gift of eternity is present in our eyes, but only to us. Our eyes glow with the very essence of ourselves. I was seeing Roxanna for the first time and she was breathtaking.

I moved in jerky, awkward ways to my mirror. I was almost afraid of what I had become. I looked like my old self but my skin was ghostly white, my eyes glowed with a green fire, my nails were as reflective as glass, and my face was completely smooth, like stone. I noticed every slight movement I was reflecting. A small twitch of the eye, the flare of nostrils as they breathed. It was truly amazing how my perception had been enhanced.

“It’s a lot to take in.” Roxanna said as she moved to me, placing her arm around me. She locked her eyes on mine and kissed me. Still sweet, but more so. She pulled away and frowned.

“What’s wrong?” I was taken aback by my voice, it was as if it was liquid, I could feel it leave me and fill my room, rubbing on my skin.

“Don’t worry,” she laughed, “you’ll learn to control your voice. It’s just odd; I can no longer hear you.”

“What do you mean?” I said, trying to control my voice.

“Before you turned I could hear your thoughts, and I have met others…I could hear their thoughts, but not yours. Could it be an effect from making you? Can you hear my thoughts?” I was baffled but I tried to concentrate. Nothing.

“No, but I’m not even sure how to do it.” I said a little shamefully.

“It’s no matter, the night is young and there is so much to do!” She grabbed my arm and brought me to the window.

“Whoa whoa!” I stammered, this was a little crazy.

“Trust me.” She said with a kiss and jumped out the window. She landed gracefully on her feet. “Just jump!” she smiled. What did I have to lose? Except a leg.

“Here goes nothing…” and with that I jumped. The fall was slow and my feet touched the ground as though I had simply walked off a curb.

“You are immortal now, my dear Zachariah. Only the sun can kill you now. But it is time to feed, I am weakened and you must be starving!” She grabbed my hand and we moved as though we were driving high speed vehicles. Houses whizzed by and we were climbing obstacles as though we were superheroes. We were heading to the market place, and that was what I was afraid of.

We moved with unfathomable speed to reach the market area. When we arrived I was overwhelmed by my senses. The noise, oh the noise was beyond comprehension. I was hearing conversations from everywhere, music was blaring in my ears, and there were the thoughts…

At the time I was unaware that I was hearing people’s thoughts, to me it was as if they were talking. A desire here and there, a fear over yonder, a lie unto another’s face. It wasn’t until the pictures started flooding my mind that I started to realize. I began to see what others saw, through their thoughts. But it was overwhelming at first and I lost my balance.

“It’s been so long, I almost forget how it felt when I first turned.” Roxanna steadied me. “Just focus on me darling.” We embraced and miraculously I was able to regain focus, on our kiss, its sweet taste.

When our lips parted I continued to focus on her and through that I could keep the images at bay. The smell, on the other hand, was another story. I smelled different variations of pure bliss coming from everywhere. It began to draw me.

“Blood. For whatever reason we are what we are, we crave it…we need it.” Roxanna’s composure hardened. She was studying my reaction. Perhaps trying to read my thoughts as she had been able to when I was mortal.

“I can’t kill anyone…” I dropped my gaze and the flood of words and images began to creep up. I started to focus on the smell and my almost absolute yielding to it. That helped one problem. “I can’t do this!” I murmured through clenched teeth.

The aroma of all the mortals around me was more than anyone could bear. Roxanna just looked at me sympathetically and I found myself getting lost in the abyss of blue and gray that was her eyes. I loved her, there was no denying that. I pulled her close to me and kissed her. I tried to pull myself away from my hunger by submerging myself in the pleasure that was her embrace. I was met with only despair, my hunger was pulling me away from my other sensations.

“You must do this. Our very being is sustained by blood. It fuels us and enhances our gifts.” I looked at her with a puzzled expression. “We get stronger each time we drink, gifts we do not yet possess will be discovered as time goes on, but we must drink.”

“What if I don’t drink…will I die?” I asked.

“No, but the existence you will lead without blood will be indefinitely more undesirable. You cannot take from my mind, but you can from others, am I wrong?”

“Yes…but it is a bombardment of images and words.”

“You will learn to focus them, to shut out all but what you wish to perceive. If you use this gift as I do, you can look into the blackness of their souls; find those who truly deserve death. That is how I can stave off the deepest pangs of guilt.” She kissed me again. “Oh if I could only read your thoughts!” She quipped while pouting.

“So you mean if I find a murderer or something, I won’t feel guilty? I still don’t know if I can go through with this.”

“There are many reasons one must meet death. You must find your own justification, be it murder or rape. Once you perceive what one has done, you innate desire to feed will give you the strength my love.” She peered around, looking at what I could not tell. “Ah, come with me!”

She grabbed my arm and brought me to a rundown apartment complex. Effortlessly she began to climb the brick wall. I hesitated before I gave it a try. I realized that with my newfound preternatural abilities I could grab onto the smallest of grooves and pull myself up with ease. Shrouded in the darkness of the night we peered into the top floor’s window and saw a grotesque man. He was fat, balding, and covered in scruff facial hair. I could smell the salty sweat that layered his skin, but above all else I could smell his blood. It smelled of the sweetest sugars, the tastiest foods, the most appealing of drinks.

“Now let yourself go just a little bit, look into his mind.” Roxanna said to me with the most loving touch to my arm. The strangest thing was how easy it became once I actually tried. First I was flooded with his most pressing desires. There was hunger, a sexual desire, and tiredness. As I peered deeper I started to see images, first of trivial things he had done during the day but then I found a spot in his thoughts that was wrapped in a cosmic energy. He tried to push it aside but was constantly focused on it. He was sitting outside a park as the sun was setting. Filled with his sexual desire he found a young girl walking a small dog. He easily was able to knock her out and dispose of the animal. A sickness was growing inside me as I perceived his rape and murder of the girl through his eyes. In rage I almost flew through his window and pinned him to his seat.

I felt an odd sensation in my mouth, my fangs had slightly elongated. Not to an extent that they protruded from my mouth, but more reasonably comparable to the hair on the back of one’s neck when they feel a chill down their spine. Electricity sparked my whole body as I pierced right into his jugular vein. Immediately I was paralyzed with the most absolute sensation. His hot blood flooded my very being, filling me with the utmost pleasure and satisfaction. His very being was flooding my veins. I loved him, I loved this moment. I was face to face with my very destiny. In my soul I felt complete, this is where I belonged. His heartbeat wrung out through me, as if a metronome was keeping beat. I was focused on the beat as I pulled him into me. Eventually I felt his heartbeat begin to slow. Slower and slower the metronome ticked. I felt myself reaching the end of something extreme.

“You must stop before the heart does!” Roxanna yelled at a volume only I could truly perceive. Sadness overcame me as she pulled me off of him. The sadness was quickly replaced by the warmth that flooded me. My hunger was fulfilled and my body was tingling. I felt stronger indeed. “If you drink into your victim’s death, it can pull you in. Once the heart slows to the faintest of beats, you must part…I see you didn’t spill a drop, very good.” She pulled me in and kissed me. “I can taste the blood on your lips, I must feed as well.”

As we began to leave the apartment I felt a wetness on my cheek. Blood. It was running down my eyes and I began to panic. Was I leaking?

“Ah, as we are infused with blood, it is everything we are, our sweat, our saliva….our tears.” She said to me as she wiped my blood tears. She licked them off her finger which filled me with a sudden passion and I kissed her. She gave into me intensely before pulling away and jumping out the window, like she had done earlier. This time I didn’t hesitate at all as I jumped out after her.

She seductively lured in her prey, taking them into the darkness and draining them.

“What did he do to deserve death?” I asked timidly.

“Sometimes, with our gift, we can see what one is capable of doing that deserves death, even it has yet to be accomplished.” She said playfully, though I didn’t take it as such.

“Anyone is capable of anything!” I exclaimed with slight anger.

“That is farther from the truth than you know, Zachariah.” She grabbed me by the hand. I had not fully accepted her feasting on an innocent, regardless of their dark desires, but I was anxious to be with Roxanna and the world through my new vampire eyes was simply too beautiful to ruin with a fight.

It seemed only minutes passed by as we traveled to a nearby clearing in the forest. We sat and looked at the stars. With my new eyes I could see the greatest details. I saw the very center of stars and the rays that made them visible to the human eye. They were brightly lit, contrasting with the dark void of space. The moon was as bright as the sun, lighting the entire forest for us. Roxanna grabbed me and pulled me into an embrace.

I felt her body as we kissed; her smooth skin was warm from the kill moments ago. I pulled her in feeling the sturdiness yet softness of her body. “Drink from me” she whispered. I noticed from the sheer arousal of our embrace my fangs were prominent and I pierced her skin. Sheer ecstasy flooded my being as her blood filled into me. Next thing I knew Roxanna had bitten into me. A millisecond of pain led to countless pleasure.

I was feeling everything. As my hands ran across her body, our blood cycled through us turning our bodies into one. As a mortal I had only had sex a few times, but this was something so much better and much more indescribable. Images from her being as well as my own flooded my mind, and I was sure they were in hers as well.

I cannot tell how long we were entwined but when she pulled away I felt an insurmountable longing. She just smiled and kissed me on the lips very gently. “I want to know everything about you. Tell me about the things I see when I drink from you, how did you become a vampire?” I desired for everything.

With a smile she responded , “That is a tale for another night, the sun is about to rise. Do you feel it?” And after she mentioned it I did. The stars had faded and my eyes were squinting. “We must dig into the earth to avoid the sun…and we need to sleep as much as mortals.” She was right, I had begun to feel very dull and tired. Effortlessly she dug into the earth and I followed her example. Before we buried ourselves we shared one last kiss and then we were asleep, deep within the earth’s soil.

That is my tale. Look at me, I’m getting blood all over myself. So much nostalgia has gotten me emotional. Now you know how I came into this dark world. I feel love for you as you most undoubtedly feel for me. It is this knowledge that now we both share, whoever you may be. Perhaps one day you will find me, but know that I will always know you for we are connected by my memories. If the time is right I may reveal myself to you, maybe tell you more of my ever continuing story. Don’t think that the adventure ends here! I have experienced so much in my time as an immortal, but for now I must part with you, who has become dearest to me. Until we may meet or until the sun rises to set me aflame, farewell.

With the most eternal love,

Zachariah.