Innocence

Some quite powerful sentiment, but I really think you'd be better off using punctuation rather than line breaks to indicate pauses, and re-consider the 'old-fashioned' style use of capital letters to start every line - both play havoc with the flow of your writing,

J x

Thanks Jennifer! I am somewhat old school in my writing style. Still fumbling around with the writing at the moment and banging some of my old poems on here just to test the water. Punctuation makes me nervous but I definitely need to move forward from the way I was 'taught' to write poetry at school in the eighties.
Thank you x

I know the feeling! Try reading it out loud and punctuating as you would prose - what is correct for prose is also correct for poetry, and that includes capital letters - there's no trick to it, really!

J x

I really liked the theme of this poem and thought that you expressed it well. Hope you write some more when you find the water is tepid and quiet ;)
pia