Going Back (Poetry Monthly)

Cherry

By london_calling79

Mon, 03 Aug 2015
  • 1283 reads
11 comments
 

Dear Belfast,

 

I’m not sorry how we left it.

It wasn’t me, it was you.

 

Your city’s a crumbling memory.

A one-night stand that lasted years

of grubby, fond regret.

 

You’re a child,

with fingers fumbling

at broken toys,

your second-hand gifts lie

steeped in concrete.

 

But when you smiled...

the grey of memory brought

a familiar buzz,

a fizzing firework apex

from when I floated anchorless

through your patched up beauty.

 

Your battered eyes floated a wink,

a twisted squint,

lying contemplating clouds,

recumbent, coquettish amongst the used up

synapse of yesterday.

Enticed by pale swells

and dry, barren mounds,

you had me back.

 

I lost my breath.

Just stared at you in the damp,

linen lamplight

as you glared at me through ruffled hair.

You made more of a dent in me

than I ever did in you.

 

You turned my head,

stroked my chin away as you melted

from kitten to banshee,

a scuttled luxury.

 

‘Pipe bomb’ on the airwaves.

Weary eyed officers

herding disgruntled mutterers

trudging the same old paths ripped

by familiar barbed-wire tongues.

 

And like the blood of kings and curraghs

seeped in every crack,

like the bullet lodged in every wall,

the space in every heart

and the deepest dark at 2am

revolted by you in the sober light,

I remembered all.

 

The sorry taste of mornings,

your smudged-ink arms that dragged us down,

outfitted now in tailored suits

embroidered fortresses of memory.

 

You leered,

you whore.

 

You’d drawn me in again.

 

But this time,

I’ll promise you.

Tatooed on my heart

and etched on my arm,

I’m never going back.

Certificate 15
Poem
New Set
Surreal
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Any criticism is most welcome.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Such a powerful sense of place, fantastic use of personification to describe destructive influence, wonderful imagery, particularly the tattoo.

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Thanks Phillip! I think I'm too close to this subject to properly judge the merits if the writing so your praise is most welcome. It's a great inspiration point and has really brought some great writing from you!

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

You paint a vivid picture of a place that at one time must have meant a lot but not anymore and although the memory of its fascination still remains and is etched on the heart, a love/hate relationship has made it impossible to consider a return to that city.

Regards, Luigi

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Nail on the head Luigi. I keep saying it's over but I'll be back! (Going back for a week next week!)

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Lots to love here. That you address it as Dear for starters reveals intimacy and the dichotomy of soft/rough show the incongruence in her treatment of you. Patched up and linen lamp light stood out to me - she has some delicacy and fissures - gorgeous imagery. You capture the drag and dirt, the menace and manipulation of a vulnerable relationship but this is much more than that. Belfast's your damaged lover and she spat you out over and over. It's all there. Line 40 - barbed wire works well but I'd revise that line if it were mine - lengthy, feels awkward - perhaps substitute embrace for a sexier word. It's smashing, LC.

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

I do love the oul hoor. Thanks in equal measure for the praise and for the criticism. I'll get on it like a car bonnet, or on it till I vomit whichever happens first. Hope you've snatched some time to write yourself.

 

Submitted by simonmiller15 on

used to wait for a bus looking up at that bluff, brought it all back London - - very nice work, simon

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Cheers Simon! I often wonder what she's contemplating.

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

this was excellent. i liked the way the simpler, charged lines stood out amongst the more florid moments: 'You made more of a dent in me/than I ever did in you.' (v effective for me) 'you had me back.' and  'I lost my breath.'. lovely phrases throughout, patched up beauty/floated a wink. much enjoyed, charged, alive and conveyed levels of feeling v effectively 

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Thanks Stephen. I like to put in some more cliched lines amongst those I've tried to make myself. Feels like cheating though!