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Turn the handle

Posted by Louise178 on November 19, 2010 - 09:24
from the ABC set Poems

The door wouldn't open
I forgot to turn the handle

all the pages were full
and some words well they
just need to be face up
to remember and finish the end
of such a questioning journey

carefully placed on the top
but I need a pen, frantically
I search, blue biro it seems cheap
to record such words, it works
running smoothly over the page
thoughts are up and down
yet another cup of tea
on the bed off, ideas rush
but I am drained there isn't much left
I've been on the bottom of the floor...

and the door wouldn't open
I forgot to turn the handle.

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Comments

seashore | November 19, 2010 - 10:09

I like the way you use the unusual in your poems. That first and last lines and your colloquial style. Works for me.

Louise178 | November 19, 2010 - 10:25

Thanks seashore I am glad someone likes my poems :)I get immense pleasure from writing, it's brilliant fun and I will not conform.....I will not... :)

insertponceyfre... | November 19, 2010 - 15:47

I like them too - I like the way you don't spell things out

Louise178 | November 19, 2010 - 15:50

Thank you :)

fatboy74 | November 19, 2010 - 17:32

This must be another one of those flops you were talking about! :-) What you have done with the first two and last two lines is great - I have wanted to write a whole poem like this, the first half repeating the second but with a different meaning through punctuation etc but have never been able to do it. Is there more punctuation sneeking in here? Thank you for another great read Louise. :-)

Louise178 | November 19, 2010 - 19:06

No no surely not, there can't be, help :)punctuation what a horrible word...:)

fatboy74 | November 20, 2010 - 20:58

Yes definitely, 4 commas and an ellipsis! (apostrophes don't count)

Kahdai | November 29, 2010 - 19:59

:) this is brilliant! K

Louise178 | November 30, 2010 - 07:06

Thanks K, I just replied 'Brilliant' to your other comment, spooky! :)

Kahdai | December 2, 2010 - 19:33

haha like minds? or is it that 'german for time-ghost thing ;) ? K x