I returned to my old hunting grounds
to find that most buildings had altered,
but the Norman cathedral still stood,
impervious to the wind of change.
Perhaps it was looking worse for wear,
with the weather having taken its toll:
the brittle bricks in need of some repair
and its right wall covered in vegetation.
I had always admired its architecture,
the marble statues and the paintings;
I can recall every inch of the interior:
the aisles, the nave, the transept, the altar.
The monks’ dormitory and the cloisters
had been part of my earlier life, religion
having formed the rock of my vocation.
I was expected to be pious and humble,
to imbue myself in sanctity and purity
yet that foundation stone soon crumbled.
If asked, I cannot pinpoint the moment
when faith vanished and doubts crept in.
It was a gradual, painful, metamorphosis;
I underwent a complete transformation
from an ascetic soul to a freethinker.
I am often accused of wearing blinkers
for not seeing that I simply exchanged
one set of strict beliefs for another.
© Luigi Pagano 2009

Comments
artisus | February 11, 2009 - 21:52
Hi Luigi, losing one's religion or faith. Nice spiritual poem, but has the voice speaking here lost both? Ascetic souls can be freethinkers in my opinion. The closing lines say a lot. Definitely a rewarding read. The title is very very interesting.
Nic xx
threeleafshamrock | February 12, 2009 - 08:41
Hi Luigi, Like this one. Have you read 'Pillars of the Earth' by Ken Follett; I think you would like it.
Chris
lenchenelf | February 12, 2009 - 09:19
Interesting piece Luigi, Br Guy Consolmagno, formerly of MIT, now Vatican Observatory, offered the thought at a recent lecture "Can a Scientist Believe in God" that if one believes in God only to fill in the gaps that Science can't explain, it's not faith.I found that useful.Unfortunately there are polarised factions on both sides crushing thought, in my opinion. Thank you for sharing this thought provoking and well written poem and all the best L
luigi_pagano | February 12, 2009 - 12:46
Efharisto Nic, my favourite Greek philosopher.
You have spotted the paradox: the unbeliever must have faith in his own beliefs and as such he becomes a believer himself. Could he, then, have doubts?
If, on the other hand, he was an agnostic he would have the benefit of sitting on the fence.
Much obliged to you for reading and commenting.
Luigi xx
luigi_pagano | February 12, 2009 - 13:25
Hi Chris. Glad you like this. Thanks for reading it.
I haven't read that particular book by Ken Follett but I'll keep a look out for it.
Best, Luigi.
artisus | February 12, 2009 - 13:52
Well, after your (as always) straightforward reply a new side of the poem is revealed. I agree with you about the fence-benefit. But he isn't. Now it's clear he is not, but he cannot become an atheist, because he questions not only the world but his choices as well. A Skeptic Seeker's Soul is the new side. Who accuses him? His inner voice. xx
luigi_pagano | February 12, 2009 - 13:56
It is impossible IMO, len, to ascertain who is right and who is wrong in this circumstance. There are some scientists who say that there is no conflict between religion and science and that they can accept both the theory of evolution and the Creation, whereas Christian fundamentalists will only recognise 'intelligent design'. I cannot see that there are any so called gaps to be filled; either one believes or he doesn't.
As the concept of how the Universe came about is still unexplained, any religion has to be founded on absolute faith.
Much obliged to you for your interesting comment.
luigi_pagano | February 12, 2009 - 14:11
You are absolutely right, Nic. He's not an agnostic:
I only presented it an alternative choice, one that wouldn't be open to doubt.
Lxx
lenchenelf | February 12, 2009 - 14:23
Hi Luigi, thanks for replying, I think that was the point he (Br Consolmagno) was trying to make :-)Thank you once again, all the best
Maddalena
Silver Spun Sand | February 13, 2009 - 14:18
Certainly an interesting piece, Luigi and well deserving of its cherry:-)
I always remember someone saying to me once there are two ways to describe most things. For instance, a child, responding to the question, 'How do paper aeroplanes fly?' One child might say, 'Simple. Just aim it straight and throw it forward into the air.' Another might give a factual, aerodynamic analysis of the procedure. All to do with differing perspectives, I guess.
Maybe I haven't explained that too well, but perhaps you get the drift:-)
Much to think about in your poem, Luigi, now I'm off to read it again. Much enjoyed.
Tina xxx
luigi_pagano | February 13, 2009 - 16:23
I certainly get your drift, Tina. Pleased that you find it interesting and it was literally a nice surprise to receive the cherry as I don't get notifications any longer. Gremlins, I suspect.
Love, Luigi xxx
MistakenMagic | February 14, 2009 - 14:29
'the brittle bricks in need of some repair
and its right wall covered in vegetation.'
The descriptions of the cathedral are superlative Luigi! A very poignant read, well done on the cherry ;)
Magic xxx
luigi_pagano | February 14, 2009 - 19:24
Hi Rebecca. Lovely to hear from you, as usual.
It is rewarding to hear nice comments as well as receiving cherries. It makes one's efforts worthwhile.
Luigi xxx