She told me that her name was Gypsy Sue.
Her hair was the colour of ripe corn
and her eyes were a deep cobalt-blue.
She stayed just one night, until morn.
She had needed somewhere to lie
and a warm person with whom to lay.
She went early, without saying goodbye,
but where she was going I could not say.
© Luigi Pagano 2010
Comments
skinner_jennifer | August 14, 2010 - 12:24
Hi Luigi Pagano,
This could almost be the beginning of a story. A very
charming story, of companionship that was not to be.
Yes I like this poem very much.
Jenny.
luigi_pagano | August 14, 2010 - 13:40
As you rightly say, Jenny, this could be the prelude to a story. It would be interesting to find out from where she had come,why she had left her past behind and follow her future progress. This can only be hinted at in 60 words.
Glad you found this little poem to your liking.
Luigi x
Silver Spun Sand | August 14, 2010 - 17:58
Haha - I see you beat me to it, Luigi.
A splendid poem! And the sixty word agenda takes quite some crafting, which you have mastered perfectly here.
Enjoyed;-)
Tina xxx
MistakenMagic | August 14, 2010 - 19:00
Brilliant take on the IP, Luigi ;) A lovely, mysterious tale of the unrequited! Well done.
Magic xxx
Cavalcaderl | August 14, 2010 - 20:44
new Luig_Pagano
H! Luigi, enjoyed it all, and
tackling the (IP) well earn't cherry.
Myabe she was a Gypsy fortune teller, with lucky bunches heather, whoops cherries?!
Hard to do quick story, in 60 words, isn't it.
julie xx
luigi_pagano | August 15, 2010 - 08:07
Yes Tina, for once I am ahead of you but the same cannot be said for the cherries stake; there you are miles in front and deservedly so.
It took a bit of fiddling to contain it within sixty word.
Thanks for reading.
Luigi xxx
luigi_pagano | August 15, 2010 - 08:13
OK, Miss Magic, I have shown you mine. Are you going to show me yours? Or doesn't the Inspiration Point appeal to you?
Thanks for the comment.
Luigi xxx
luigi_pagano | August 15, 2010 - 08:18
She definitely had some lucky cherries, Julie, and I am glad that I wrote about her.
You are right: it is a bit difficult to do a little story in sixty words but it can be done as other authors on this site have shown.
Thanks a lot for your nice comment.
Luigi xxx
MistakenMagic | August 15, 2010 - 18:53
I've definitely got an idea in mind, dear Luigi ;) Whether it comes to anything is another question!
Magic xxx
luigi_pagano | August 15, 2010 - 19:13
That's the spirit, Rebecca. I am sure that whatever is on your mind will be absolutely spot on.
Luigi xxx