I feel alright in front of the mirror,
my diction is clear, the tone is right,
but facing people I’m full of terror;
I gasp for air and my throat is tight.
Public performance is a nightmare.
I go to pieces when I see the crowd
and truly wish that I wasn’t there.
My voice is shrill, perhaps too loud.
I am all aquiver as I hear my name
being announced by the compere,
this is too serious, it isn’t a game:
the tension is more than I can bear.
My face resembles tomato ketchup,
the rhythm alters, first up then down;
it starts at a trot and ends in a gallop.
At the deep end, I will soon drown.
But when it’s over, what do I find?
I didn’t need to undergo such torment:
some in the audience are very kind
commending me on my regional accent.
© Luigi Pagano 2011
Comments
skinner_jennifer | January 9, 2011 - 11:49
How wonderful Luigi, this is certainly a great I.P.
I love how you express yourself in the fourth stanza:
My face resembles tomato ketchup,
the rhythm alters, first up then down;
it starts at a trot and ends in a gallop.
At the deep end, I will soon be drawn.
Brilliant read.
Jenny.
luigi_pagano | January 9, 2011 - 12:18
Hi Jenny. I am quite an extrovert but when it comes to reading my own poetry I seem to retreat into a shell. I can't find the right rhythm and doubt even that the poems are any good. It is the kind of insecurity that assails anybody who hasn't had much practice at reading in public. The only consolation is that people are sympathetic to our plight.
Thanks for the comment.
Luigi x
skinner_jennifer | January 9, 2011 - 13:54
I know what you mean Luigi, even reading to one
person, makes me go red.
Congratulations on the cherries, well deserved.
Jenny.
Silver Spun Sand | January 9, 2011 - 13:57
Absolutely brilliant, Luigi. I just love the title - so very apt, as is the poem, of course for the I.P.
I must admit, this week's has left me scratching my head but I have to say, yours has inspired me so I'm just going to have to give it more thought.
Many congrats on the cherry. More than deserved;-)
Tina xxx
Cavalcaderl | January 9, 2011 - 15:13
new Luigi_Pagano
Hi! Good one for (IP)
well deserved cherry!
Thankyou to for explaining
exactly the same with me,I have
only read about twice in a pub group,
lights are low,one can't see the words.
Someone draws a sketch of each, I click
on here,nothing like me at all.Mixed group.
Of different things.Not been while,now state
must be on time,as if some come late disturbs
others,called "Step Up To The Mic".My knees,knock
I go into shock!
julie xx
luigi_pagano | January 9, 2011 - 16:07
Don't worry Jenny. Just persevere and you'll find that one day everything clicks and you'll wonder why you doubted yourself in the first place.
Luigi x
luigi_pagano | January 9, 2011 - 16:20
Go on with you, Tina. It is unusual for inspiration to desert you. You only have to pick up a pen to produce something brilliant. And this is amply demonstrated by the number of cherries to your name.
As for my collection, can't really grumble.
Thanks for your support.
Luigi xxx
luigi_pagano | January 9, 2011 - 16:27
Dear Julie, I hear what you say. We all experience the feeling that we are not up to the task when asked to perform in front of people that we probably don't know. It is much easier if one belongs to a writers' group, as I do. You then get to know your fellow members and don't feel inhibited.
Good luck to you when you next read.
Luigi xx
fatboy74 | January 9, 2011 - 23:27
Well done Luigi v. good take on IP, I think we all forget that most occassions when we have to speak in public, people want us to do well - still doesn't stop the tremors and ketchup face. :-)
seashore | January 10, 2011 - 08:34
I just love this Luigi - you express so well what many of us feel in these situations. Does anyone NOT feel nervous about reading their own poetry to a large group I wonder?
luigi_pagano | January 10, 2011 - 09:42
You are so right, fb. I understand that even professionals are apprehensive before an appearance.
And it is true that audiences are sympathetic. It does help,though, if one has the necessary qualities, i.e. a good, clear voice, etc., etc.
luigi_pagano | January 10, 2011 - 09:59
Many thanks, seashore, for reading this. I dare say that everybody is self-conscious when reading in public. Sometimes we see performers who look assured in their delivery but it happens rarely to amateur speakers like me.
I have just heard about a film about King George VI and the difficulties he had with his stammer. Here was someone who was expected to speak to his subjects but couldn't easily, not because of nervousness but due to disability.