There once was a time when we mucked out the swine
for we stuck and combined when we could.
We sucked on our limes and we struck up our rhymes
to the crimes of Fawkes, Turpin and Hood,
But now we’re pushed round on a merry-go-round
of American merits and lore.
Free England! Free England! Come get your free England,
free England with every world war!
This bruising, this tumour, is losing our humour
to beautiful-chick-bedding Friends
with coffee-filled bladders while Pythons and Adders
are strangled by skin-shedding trends.
Our statements are questions? This hateful ingestion
was smuggled in through Channel Four
and clangs round free England while slangs intermingle and
our speech-patterns parrot and bore.
No longer, you see, will we ponder how tea
drives a man to unpadlock his hose,
then wander like cloud, growing fonder and proud,
past the daffodil, shamrock and rose.
Instead we all scavenge for crap and say “Haven’t
you heard the new word? I can score!”
Free England! Free England! Come get your free England,
free England with every world war!
The aquiline vultures all hack at our culture,
a carcass that’s fetid and smashed,
decide it’s too quaint, then deride it and paint it
the colours detested and trashed
by mullahs and commies but not by dumb homies
who swagger round Uncle Sam’s whore,
that strumpet, free England, who trumpets her jingle and
lies straddled and bound on the floor.
How splendid! How bold! We’re defending their golden
behind, we risk winding up dead
as we cast icy faces at ghastlier races
whose primary colour is red.
When told to fellate we say “Thanks, you’re so great,
would you like us to suck a bit more?”
Free England! Free England! Come get your free England,
free England with every world war!
So, happily evermore after, we sever
our past in the supermart place.
Free Wales! And free Scotland! Don’t let England throttle and
submerge you in brown-tongued disgrace.
Comments
chuck | December 12, 2008 - 11:00
I blame TV.
tarashannon | December 12, 2008 - 11:05
brilliant i love the rhythm to this
Macjoyce | December 12, 2008 - 12:33
Thanks, am glad you like it. TV is certainly partly to blame, as is McDonald's. But ultimately it's England's fault of course. A lot of things are England's fault.
www.myspace.com/norwichfacetransplant
chuck | December 12, 2008 - 15:23
Well America is England's fault too when you get right down to it.
I often think there's some curious chemistry at work in the British Isles that makes us want to voyage out and remake the world. All with the best intentions of course. Other nations tried it too but not with quite the same zeal and determination.
Bradene | December 12, 2008 - 16:12
Oh I don't know the Roman's managed it. (: Val
chuck | December 12, 2008 - 17:05
Good point. The Romans wrote the book. Maybe the Anglo-Saxons carried on the Roman legacy? With a bit of help from the Normans.
Nice to see Mac get a cherry BTW. That should really pi....er tick him off. :)
Macjoyce | December 12, 2008 - 22:06
Well, the British Empire was built mainly by people of Norman descent. The Saxons were not a massively imperialistic nation, they even let the Welsh keep Wales. They may have nicked all of England but at least Cymru remained free.
Some might say England gets what it deserves. But I don't believe that the English people, the British people, do. The people who gave the world Shakespeare and John Lennon deserve better than the arse-dribble culture and politics we get forced onto us.
www.myspace.com/norwichfacetransplant
jennifer | December 12, 2008 - 23:16
Uplifting and clever. Gung-ho, if you will!
J x
chuck | December 12, 2008 - 23:28
I'd say the decline is pretty universal Mac. Look at the 'arse-dribble culture and politics' Americans have to put up with.
Not sure how you change it though. Maybe a major economic upheaval is needed...looks like we're getting it.
jennifer | December 12, 2008 - 23:35
Courtesy of 'Super-Gord'?
lmao
Macjoyce | December 13, 2008 - 00:35
Gordon Brown is the socialist messiah...
Hmmm.
Thanks for reading, peeps.
www.myspace.com/norwichfacetransplant
Dynamaso | December 13, 2008 - 00:41
Didn't Matt Johnson from The The say as much when he sang 'This is the 51st state of the USA'? In Australia, the reaction to this has been mainly be flag-carrying versions of rednecks. Very scary indeed...
This is a really great peice Mac.
Macjoyce | December 13, 2008 - 00:52
G'day, Maso! Not seen you around for a while, great to have you back. Thanks for popping round.
Isn't Australia the 52nd state? Isn't everywhere an American state these days? Ich will unsere Mauer zurueck...
www.myspace.com/norwichfacetransplant
chuck | December 13, 2008 - 01:01
"In Australia, the reaction to this has been mainly be flag-carrying versions of rednecks."
So what would the English equivalent be of that? A sea of George Crosses outside Westminster?
Macjoyce | December 14, 2008 - 12:54
Dunno. I'm Welsh.
www.myspace.com/norwichfacetransplant
Dynamaso | December 14, 2008 - 23:07
"Isn't Australia the 52nd state?"
As much as I'd like to say it isn't say, I'd be lying if I did. If I stand on the corner of the crossroads at my local neighbourhood shops, I see a McDonalds, a Gloria Jean coffee shop and a Subway shop.
Nah, we're not Americanised, not at all...
iandsmith | December 16, 2008 - 12:28
There are 100000 Afrikaans speakers in England. I looked it up.
Macjoyce | December 16, 2008 - 20:30
There are eight million bicycles in Beijing.
Ring ring ring.
www.myspace.com/norwichfacetransplant
threeleafshamrock | January 7, 2009 - 18:42
I like this; like the rhythm, like the sentiment, like the directness. A lot of meat on the bone!