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waiting.

Posted by maggyvaneijk on April 7, 2010 - 13:04

I'm in my car with an empty passenger seat
hoping it won't be empty soon.

I start counting
I count
slowly
until ten
I will leave at nine

because I'm not one of those girls
that wait around
I have places to go

you know?

A fog sweeps across the concrete
the fog turns to rain - can it get any worse?

It can
And it always does

Then -

You appear
from the sliding doors
an anxious surge rages through my body.

My stomach:
the inside of a crowded beehive
buzzing on and off and on and

OFF

Everything turns off.

Your
hand

wrapped

in
another
hand

I bash my head on the steering wheel
and stare hard into the car mirror
A red mark across my forehead
It should be L shaped

This is just my life

Waiting for some one -
otherwise occupied

In an empty car park
With an empty passenger seat
emptyemptyempty
your whole life is empty

and you waited for longer than ten seconds
just to make things worse.

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Comments

MistakenMagic | April 7, 2010 - 20:31

Brutal yet beautiful! I really love this piece - and really connected with it. I'm just one of those girls who can never pick the right men ;) Thanks for a great read!

Magic xxx

maggyvaneijk | April 7, 2010 - 21:16

thanks for your kind words, you'll get lucky one day!

maggyvaneijk | April 10, 2010 - 19:18

Thanks for your compliments!

berenerchamion | April 13, 2010 - 06:24

You possess great honesty. Check out Carve magazine. I'll wager if you submitted there, you might very well get in. Please keep writing.

Matt

maggyvaneijk | April 13, 2010 - 06:56

Thanks for the tip!

ankari | April 19, 2010 - 15:15

"Your
hand

wrapped

in
another
hand"

expresses it so perfectly, well done on the cherry :)
ankari x

staticshakedown | May 3, 2010 - 23:31

I really love this! It's very humorous and I get that "Girrrrrl, I know just what you're talking about" feeling out of it. ;)

The only thing that confused me a little was the switch from first person to second toward the end(?) Unless I misread:

"This is just my life

Waiting for some one -
otherwise occupied

In an empty car park
With an empty passenger seat
emptyemptyempty
your whole life is empty

and you waited for longer than ten seconds
just to make things worse."

Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 22:44

"I bash my head on the steering wheel
and stare hard into the car mirror
A red mark across my forehead
It should be L shaped"

There is a quirky kind of honesty to this poem, something I rather enjoyed. Who hasn't had these moments in life? Every one of your poems seems to have a mind of its own. Excellent work. Well done.

Nathan x