“To survive heartache you’ve got to stay busy”
Well, I’m not busy enough
to dismantle all the sticky
stuff that clings and makes me weak
I met you
in our orthodontist’s waiting
room. A pocket of pain throbbed
against my cheek but I managed
a squeak, a hi, and you spoke
in vowels as your train
track teeth twisted tight.
Untangle the reel and yank it forward
YOUR SECRETS MAKE ME SICK
you screamed, the last time, and
I stood there, bloodless, blank
dry heaving into the rain
purging pictures of:
your damp curls – a liquid gold
cascading over snowy
pillow mounds and I lurch
forward a year, the summer
we went to Greece, toes touching
toes tickling turquoise sea
at night we moved like olive oil
through boozy tourist crowds in
a crisp red glow we flowed
to our room where we faded
into one.
Another image leaks out of my
memory machine: our bodies
moving without ease, my
nose began to bleed
“leave it”
you said as we tumbled through
the messy massacre in our bed.
Lovers more like runaways
shuffling down the bullet
hole corridors of Hotel
After Dark. We carefully
constructed Facebook statuses
to trick people into thinking
we were normal
typing in turns, holding our
cigarettes like ceremonial
weapons, watching porn on mute.
I noticed their breasts – shiny like
medals.
I dove beneath my shirt: “do you like
them big or…?”
A shrug, nothing else.
Now my fingers want to obey
my ache as they loom over
dangerous digits
0, 7, 5, 8 … –
a beat a breath a sigh a click
followed by
an emptiness
like the gaping
space at the end
of a book
Comments
celticman | July 17, 2011 - 16:29
Great title. Great poem. I don't know anything about poetry, or spacing, or anything much. But brilliant luminescent images-the messy massacre in our bed- all of which are strung together in a totally unique way to tell a story. Wonderful.
maggyvaneijk | July 17, 2011 - 16:31
Thanks Celtic, I don't know much about poetry either so I'm glad you appreciate my scribbles!
cormacru999 | July 17, 2011 - 18:39
Oh now that was a good poem. I really enjoyed the imagery and the flow of words. well done.
maggyvaneijk | July 17, 2011 - 18:40
thanks!
fatboy74 | July 17, 2011 - 21:04
Startlingly good Maggy - quite unbelievably good. :-)
maggyvaneijk | July 17, 2011 - 21:05
thanks, you're too nice!
insertponceyfre... | July 17, 2011 - 21:53
I love the way the words flow into each other - perfect!
Highhat | July 18, 2011 - 03:45
This takes me back too- like Richard and you really tell a story here in a very unique and stunning fashion.My attention was especially caught by these lines
"
at night we moved like olive oil
through boozy tourist crowds in
a crisp red glow we flowed
to our room where we faded
into one."
ah such poignant images
;)Pia
Silver Spun Sand | July 18, 2011 - 08:06
It's all been said, Maggy. FB's 'startling', just about sums it up for me. Brilliant stuff;-)
Tina
shoe | July 18, 2011 - 08:30
I'm just going to agree with all of the above! brill!
the unfolding head | July 18, 2011 - 10:23
pow! another stormer Maggy...
"...We carefully
constructed Facebook statuses
to trick people into thinking
we were normal
typing in turns, holding our
cigarettes like ceremonial
weapons, watching porn on mute."
...it's lines like this for me, just slaps a smile on my face and puts me somewhere else. A joy to read.
luigi_pagano | July 18, 2011 - 12:17
Dear maggy let me quote your reply to Celticman:
"Thanks Celtic, I don't know much about poetry either so I'm glad you appreciate my scribbles!"
All I can say is that I wish I could scribble like you do, with the same skill and flair.
Luigi x
tcook | July 18, 2011 - 13:43
This wonderful poem is our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day.
Join us on Facebook at ABCtales.com
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Get a great reading recommendation most days.
Cavalcaderl | July 18, 2011 - 15:37
new maggyvaneijk
Just reading the lovely flowing
poem. Well done on cherry!
Like reading the way you can explain
in the different ideas and tones. I don't know
about poetry either. Difficult now mine, has re-tired
and share computer, coming and going all the time fixed computer only on the table, not another room.
Now Pick of the day, Facebook and Twitter chosen congrats;
julie x
SundaysChild | July 18, 2011 - 16:00
Stunning, absolutely stunning.
maggyvaneijk | July 18, 2011 - 16:01
Thank you, and I know I said it when I met you but I really enjoyed your reading in London. I hope I get to see more!
sue dinum | July 18, 2011 - 18:28
Hi maggy, I enjoyed this, although it was surreal and flitted about. I particularly liked the imagery in:
I noticed their breasts – shiny like
medals.
Lovely stuff!
sue
MistakenMagic | July 18, 2011 - 22:44
Really stunning, Maggy. Your poetry has such an honest, human quality - it's haunting. Well done on the cherry!
Magic xxx
JoseHdz | July 19, 2011 - 06:50
wow... so polished and vivid and fluid.. great sounds and pauses for emphasis...
you never cease to amaze, magggy~!
can't wait for the next one; don't keep us waiting too long~!
cheers,
jose hernnadez diaz.
RachelPatricia | July 19, 2011 - 16:48
It has all been said - simply stunning writing, Maggy, many congrats on the cherries and the pick this is amazing! :)
Rachel xx
barryj1 | July 20, 2011 - 21:32
Ditto on everything that's already been said with one minor addition: your writing here reminds me of the terribly nuanced poetry of the 60's American, West-coast poet, Richard Brautigan. He wrote quite a few amazing things about desperate/impetuous love. Oh, and I like your naked honesty... the emotional transparency. Now that takes guts!
arfellian | July 22, 2011 - 13:16
lovely. I loved the way this poem flowed. The 'olive oil' imagery was particularly stunning. Excellent poem can't wait to read more of your work. Arfellian :)
barryj1 | July 22, 2011 - 14:45
One more thing. The title is really clever but it's more than that. Brautigan used to write insanely clever titles for his poems. It's not as easy as it appears at face value. Because it so perfectly dovetails into the poem's overarching theme, your title is brilliant without overtly trying to be.
maggyvaneijk | July 22, 2011 - 15:02
Thanks so much Barry, I wish I knew about Brautigan, he sounds like my kind of thing, will check him out! I'm glad you liked the poem x maggy
barryj1 | July 22, 2011 - 15:10
Brautigan was an extremely sensitive writer who was equally at home in short stories as well as poetry. A cult flourished around the man and his poignant, bitter-sweet writings back in the later 1960's before he (literally) drank himself to death on cheap California wine. Richard Brautigan was a 'minor' poet who had major things to say about the human condition.
RachelPatricia | July 22, 2011 - 19:45
Many, many congrats on POW, maggy! :)
maggyvaneijk | July 22, 2011 - 19:50
Thanks so much Rachel and Barry I've added two novels, several short stories and a poetry collection of Brautigan's on my to-read list :)
barryj1 | July 22, 2011 - 21:08
Poem of the Week? I'm not even remotely surprised. Congrats!!!
seashore | July 24, 2011 - 15:40
Deserving of all the accolades - a real `experience' of a poem. Wonderful.
maggyvaneijk | July 24, 2011 - 20:33
Awesome, I might take you up on that offer.
Overthetop1 | July 25, 2011 - 14:28
This is up there with Plath. It is awesome. What incredible imagery. Just brilliant.
christiancometa | July 26, 2011 - 18:51
I agree with Pia, those lines took my breath away and my mind flashed with images.
Quality!
adora | July 27, 2011 - 14:18
All has been said.
kirincnj | October 25, 2011 - 07:11
Your work is fantastic. I admire it a great deal.