Nevaeh

Another damn fine masterpiece, Maggy - speechless, I love it :)

Rachel xx

Courtney-B

thats a really interesting story/poem thing.
why is she hiding from her mother>?

Love this one maggy, rich in little details and perfect imagery :)More than well done on the cherry.

Beeme xxx

Thank you ladies, and Reverta the speaker ran away so she doesn't want her mother to find her.

Great stuff maggy. Maybe the waitress is right, and this is as good as it gets.

Thanks guys!

I think I will have to come back to this after work. Entirely too much good detail to be brushed over.

Excellent read :)

Wonderful- so alive..

;)Pia

Thanks Maggie and Pia, I'm happy it went down well.

new maggyvaneijk
Well deserved cherries!
Like it all, especially the title
backwards for heaven, very clever.
The stanza
She asks me my name and when she looks
amazed I tell her it's just heaven spelled
backwards and she sits down beside me with
her hand over mine.
Beautiful
julie xx

"I tell her it’s just heaven spelled
backwards"

I think when I read, one of the main things I look for with writers is their ability to wrench words of their last usefulness much as my Grandmother did her drawer full of cleaning cloths. You did this extremely well with this line, and others. Connotations, innuendo, and suggestion are such an elemental, and fundamental part of writing don't you think. Fabulous piece of work here.

Maggy, you are able to put normal everyday moments
into such poetic words, something that I think is a
gift.

Very much enjoyed reading this.

Jenny.

I really like the pictoral quality of this poem. I tend to say this about a lot of your writing, but it's what makes the plot (yes, poems, too, have plots) come alive.

Imagery like this:

Her breath washes over me
a mantel of menthol nicotine
mixed with the ammonia
from her freshly dyed head

make me pause, go back and reread the words a second and third time, which is what serious readers do with George Elliot and Edith Wharton, when they're on a role.

Wow, Maggy. You're a mighty conjurer when it comes to imagery. This is my third read.

Rich

quite haunting maggy - i like it very much :-)

So touching, Maggie, especially the final image of being curled under the table like a hedgehog - we've all done that at some point! (I think I did that a few months ago before my first ever uni exam!) Well done on the cherries :)

Magic xxx

Thanks, I'm tempted to do it now actually...moving to London tomorrow morning at five in the morning. Yikes.