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Insommia

Posted by maisie on May 15, 2011 - 20:25
from the ABC set ElasticBand

.
Sleep when it comes,
fizzes with sounds,
the cries of a child,
.
a car turns round,
the axe murderers voice,
the dark agony of hurt.
.
I roll and turn
to avoid it, the light
isn't on. Outside
.
is as dark as a mirror
on a lake with no moon.
A cup of tea helps...
.
in a dish with a spoon,
all sugar and honey.
"I want my Mummy!"

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Comments

V.C.Willow | May 15, 2011 - 21:38

Hi Maisie

I really enjoyed the humour in this and though you've put it as a children's poem I thought it would work for an adult too. Great piece of poetry

mikepyro | May 16, 2011 - 01:30

very much enjoyed it, found it rather disturbing for a children's piece but I kind of like it better that way. The flow is quick and fluid though I stumbled at the Outside part where it flipped to the next stanza.
Overall, it's a solid piece. well done!

Highhat | May 16, 2011 - 09:24

I think it is well placed as a children's poem as it portrays very well the troubles of trying to fall a sleep with the child's imagination playing. Works well for an adult as well.

;)Pia

seashore | May 17, 2011 - 19:52

I like it a lot but tend to agree with mikepyro - not sure about the category

maisie | May 20, 2011 - 16:22

i'll edit it one day. i'm not sure either.