Leggings - the game intensifies

Overnight the fairies are waiting for their loot. Adept at trouble and rabble rousing, they are intent on keeping a few of us on our toes too. With cautionary tales of where we went wrong, which is right for us, and wrong for them. They hate people who haven't joined their human race! People like me who stay ahead of the game, and quiet about it.

Their game is approaching a match point. They have located some individual who wanted to get married and are about to present him. So to be fair I have to be awake to be spoken too.

About three in the morning which is the preferred time for these so called individuals who like to present themselves at an unsocial time when the poor recipient hasn't had any sleep and their resistence is likely to be lower – the shouting intensifies.

It's our friend the shouter girl, who insists she wrote my books, and declares her greatest achievement was entering the public library in order to tear them up.

She screams out my name reawakening me from the strange half dreaming state I've entered in desparation. I send at her furiously half awake.

She runs to her Dad, "I won didn't I Dad, I gave her fair chance. She heard me because I'm the loudest, she did. She woke up!"

He agrees. He's obviously upset. She doesn't catch on. She really isn't very bright.

The man with them isn't happy. "Try again!" he says.

She refuses. "No! I won." She's insistant.

Dad who knows the score trys to help her out, "Try it again, Love," he says, "Please for me." You can feel him reaching out. He's now scared.

She stands firm. She shakes her head.

The man half laughs, "Okay, then I take you then, as per the agreement. You're my slave then."

"What?" she yells, not expecting this final twist of the game.

"I don't want you tonight," he says grimly, "So you can sit outside the door!"

By this time I'm laughing. She's getting upset. "I don't have to do that." she says, "I could stay at home tonight." She looks at Dad, "Please!"

Dad shakes his head, "Best go with him," he replies, "Do what he tells you!"

The car door slams and they are gone. He's sold her. Now I know what their intentions towards me were for sure.

Half an hour later the car door goes again. She gets out. "Shall I go home?"

"No, you'll have to come with me or people will talk." he says unpleasantly.

I turn in the bed, and try and go to sleep again. I don't want to hear more of their relationship detail. It almost works.

Then an hour later or so, the other screamer wakes up above and starts screaming my name again. People talk to her. She screams louder. This sets off the early screamer and they shout together. It's insane. The early one is trying to reset the game!

She shouts about my writing. I'm coming apart with no rest. I send out I want the Saudi police – where are they, I feel they should come collect you and slice off your hands...

She weeps. It's almost true in a sureal way. Somebody takes them away. The new man sends to me, Do you really want that? We'd be delighted! He says to another person, "We've been waiting for years!"

Theres a pause. Then the older screamer starts to put a point across, saying if only I was awake I could see the 'Ee family for the last time as they are going away. If not they can't speak to me again. I refuse to answer. The game is too self evident.

As for the screamer above I have no idea what they are expecting only now there seems to be a meeting going on, and I only hope its not to do with the Borough Council.

I need to have them talk to me. It sounds officious.

I'm very tired. I'm going shopping. I expect them to scream again then.

Credits : morning BBC tv. Thanks people you are appreciated!

Objective Stars to you all!