I saw her last week on a bench.
I couldn’t stand the awful stench.
I looked away and hurried by,
and didn’t look her in the eye.
Her clothes were made of tattered rags,
her life inside two paper bags.
She wore a pair of worn out shoes,
her blanket made of last week’s news.
But something in her eyes today
just made me stop, not rush away.
I sat beside her nervously
in hopes she wouldn’t speak to me.
But curious to find out more,
I looked at her like ne’er before.
I saw her lovely weathered face.
What evils brought her to this place?
A tattered book was on her knee,
Her pen was writing franticly.
But seeing me, she just stopped dead,
and thought she’d have a chat instead.
‘I wasn’t born like this, you see,
but circumstance was cruel to me.
I had a husband and a son,
there was a time I had some fun.
I wrote some books, I tasted fame
with lots of credits to my name.
But dazzled by the brightest light,
I lost my way and just took flight.
I came home drunk, my husband went,
to foster home my son was sent.
I couldn’t work, so couldn’t pay,
they took my lovely home away.’
She paused for breath, I couldn’t speak.
To think I’d labelled her a freak.
This woman who had seen it all
had made me feel just two feet tall.
We chatted for another while.
How charmed I was by her bright smile.
‘I don’t want help, I’ll make that clear.
Just come back soon to chat, my dear.’
What revelation this day brought.
I’ll live my life now with more thought.
When passing vagrants on a bench,
I’ll think of fragrance, not of stench.
Comments
Jupiter | May 31, 2009 - 20:50
Mariaduffy I love this piece, thank you.
"Her clothes were made of tattered rags,
her life inside two paper bags.
She wore a pair of worn out shoes,
her blanket made of last week’s news."
LOVE IT!! LOVE IT!! LOVE IT!!
One or two 'tricky' lines but they pass by quickly as the well told (imho) story unfolds.
This is my kind of stuff. I love it. Thanks ;D
Off to check your other work for more pearls ;)
Good luck.
PS. You have reminded me of a piece I wrote some time ago which I have now added to the site - here it is - hope you like it x
www.abctales.com/story/jupiter/get-me-trolley
mariaduffy | May 31, 2009 - 21:03
Wow. What a lovely compliment. Thanks so much for that. I'm really glad you like it. I posted another similar type one for the red dress, park bench competition. I've just left a comment for your one that you mentioned. It's fab. I write a lot of children's poetry but like to do the odd one like this too. I've just joined the site and I'm not much good with computers so I'm just still trying to find my way around. Nice to meet you. Maria
Jupiter | May 31, 2009 - 21:34
I see you have had some very encouraging comments on your competition piece and I wish you every success with it.
I entered too - pretty much unnoticed although it really works for me www.abctales.com/story/jupiter/7-30-red-dress-park-bench-lake
It seems you have the magic of the meter and that appears to be de rigeur here so I think you will do well, especially as, to me, you tell a very good story ;)
Biggus | June 1, 2009 - 12:42
Brilliantly written, a story with great rhythm.
Greatly enjoyed this.
mariaduffy | June 1, 2009 - 13:27
Thank you so much for your encouraging comments. I really appreciate them. Maria
Jupiter | June 1, 2009 - 18:31
Hi Maria
May I be the first to congratulate you on being cherrificated. ;) Well done. Lovely poem! Whoops! Said that already ;D
mariaduffy | June 1, 2009 - 18:46
Thank you so much. I'm delighted.
Maria
sarah wilson | June 2, 2009 - 12:05
A well deserved cherry. Great work. Sarah x
mariaduffy | June 2, 2009 - 13:36
THanks Sarah. I really appreciate your encouragement. Maria
Yutka | June 5, 2009 - 12:24
not only a lovely rhythm here, but an interesting message too! This could be a nicely illustrated story in a children's book...charming!
mariaduffy | June 5, 2009 - 12:32
Thank you so much Yutka for that kind review and for your encouraging words. I'm so glad you liked it. Maria