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No louder than the snoring tigers lolling tongue!

Posted by Mark Heathcote on November 17, 2011 - 22:53
from the ABC set The kismet fate of serendipity

O’ my sleeping; weeping, thoughts.
Were like army blankets, you and I
observing; naught but sunbeams...
Naught...
But the lintel iron moonbeams,
under—which no one listens.
Nor speaks—but gibberish
No one sleeps, no one, dreams.

But even so’ it’s a sentry’s landscape
that’s foolhardy bold as any heaven
that’s nonsensical, as any song,
Sung in rhyme—one learns to love.
(That’s as still, as any silence
Hammering... in the darkened thereafter.)
“My own horrors anthem shot shall roar an alarm”...
No louder than the snoring tigers lolling tongue!

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Comments

scratch | November 17, 2011 - 23:15

Mark, I enjoyed this poem even though it got away from me in the last stanza.

But that's not the point.

The point is the quality of the poetic language and this has it in abundance.

"But the lintel iron moonbeams" ...... Smashing.

Scratch.

scratch | November 17, 2011 - 23:26

That's better ;)

Mark Heathcote | November 17, 2011 - 23:28

Thanks Scratch, I kept editing when I posted it;
as I wasn’t satisfied with it but I hope it’s bit better now. :)

scratch | November 17, 2011 - 23:46

It is Mark, well done.

Scratch.

Highhat | November 18, 2011 - 14:22

Yes this is very good Mark . I just don't understand the punctuation? I'd take another look at it if I were you!

;)Pia

scratch | November 18, 2011 - 14:28

Highhat is right the dreaded apostrophe.

Check second line first stanza, "we're” means "we are" whereas I think that you mean to say "were"

Scratch.

Mark Heathcote | November 18, 2011 - 20:08

Thanks for the comments guys I’m always going to need your forgiveness that’s just the way it is. But I don’t mind any pointers you may wish to share. :)

Mark Heathcote | November 19, 2011 - 23:40

Thanks guys for the cherry :)

Mark Heathcote | November 19, 2011 - 23:40

Thanks guys for the cherry :)