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Stuck in Letterkenny

Posted by maudsy on September 4, 2011 - 15:43
from the ABC set Carpet Bombing and other poems

It was attractive first time around I mused
But I was always impatient
She knew that
Before I missed that chance
The cafe window was opaque
Displaying its charming interior
The boutique open and decked in calico drapery
Still I hurried by, hastily looking at signs
But taking nothing in
Now through narrow eyes and exhaust fumes
All is closed
The cafe's violet eyes now draped
The dresses shuttered
Yet all the more lovely
And the road not taken overgrown with frost

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Comments

MaggieG | September 4, 2011 - 15:49

Adored this line

"Like a testy triangle in a square hole"

I found this quite lovely :)

maudsy | September 6, 2011 - 08:58

Second draft - more meaning less words

Highhat | September 8, 2011 - 05:03

Sorry but the last line doesn't really make sense to me? Is there a typo?

"was be overgrown with frost" be?
maybe it's just me?

;)Pia
otherwise very good

maudsy | September 18, 2011 - 19:27

Never mind the typo - just trying to get the real sentiment behind it is a bitch. Oh to be a real poet

rjnewlyn | September 18, 2011 - 22:21

I thought it worked very well. I liked the last few lines in particular. You must be a real poet after all ...

Rob

maudsy | September 22, 2011 - 14:09

It's still not poetry but found the missing line