Soya milk

I heard someone making sure
their tea was served with soya milk.
At the time I was worrying there wasn't a single thing
interesting about me
so I decided to always insist
I only drank tea with soya milk.

'I can't drink this!'I looked forward to saying
I'd spit a mouthful out over someone's new carpet
saying 'This isn't fucking soya!'

No cows teets for me.
No UHT.
You wouldn't expect a vegetarian
to gnaw on a shoulder of pork.

If I was invited to someone's house
I wouldn't RSVP
people wouldn't know whether to expect me.
'We better get some soya' they'd say.
'Just in case.'