I nutmegged him, easy as, you wouldn’t believe. That’s when the ball goes through their legs and you get it the other side. I hate it.
‘Sorry man, I didn’t mean that,’, yeah right, course I did!
‘Yeah bruv, like you got the skill anyways.’
Zane looks at me, proper daggers. You know, am leaving him for now, this boy gets riled way too easy. Maybe later. Yeah, maybe later.
We play on a while. We’re all having a pretty good game, this is fun. I flick the ball to Ben. I know I’m not the best but that doyle, why can’t he control it.
‘You’re a fool man, what are you doing. No seriously tell me you got a problem.’.
‘Shut it, if you ever passed, maybe, just maybe, I’d be expecting it’. Is that true? No, tell you what, if he was in space, then maybe, just maybe…no nevermind. Just don’t pass.
Like I said. The game’s going well. Ben continues to be a lump, but he’s trying you can see that. Leave him anyway, the guy’s supposed to be on your side. So I jink past Zane, he’s a bit calmer now. Still easy though. What? He got the ball, pure luck. Has to be. Still I leave my foot in, grip across his ankles. Nice.
‘Div.’ I exhale, I don’t need to look round to know that his eyes have it. This is it, this is alright. We’re still losing, but me and Ben seem to be finding each other now.
‘Mikey, get in goal, you’ve not been in yet.’ A good point, but one I don’t really want to accept. Better go though. Don’t want any of these girls to cry. You’ll be out soon enough anyway.
‘Look big guy, you just try and run around a bit then, see that stuff I’ve been doing like that, but a bit slower for you, yeah.’ He’s not having the last word. Not so slim chance, I think. To that not even a grunt, just a raised finger. What a poet.
The game’s pretty good, I said that like? Am in goal but its good to get a rest. You get a good view of the game, which confers the right to shout at people. Well, it’d be rude not to wouldn’t it?
‘Ben, you’re lazy…Eric watch LIL G…Push up…Get back defend!.’ An astute footballing mind.
Unexpectedly Zane gets through, Ben just letting him by, stood there, watched him run past. What is that about?
‘Zane, concentrate man! You can do it! Come on…don’t be scared….’, somehow he manages a half decent shot, hard, waist height. Hits me in the hand, that hurts, that really really hurts. There was no intention in that save.
‘You’re rubbish man, I didn’t move.’ The rebound goes straight to Zane, this time the shot isn’t as hard. I catch it easily.
‘Here Zane, have another go.’ Bang! Another shot, caught again, that hurt too but it was worth it. Well worth it. Sweet.
‘Eric, you get in, I’ve been in an age, man.’ Reluctantly he does. I’m not as good as him but he’s easier going than me. Less cheeky, less of a…well never mind that.
Up the pitch I run. Why do I want to be in goal. I’m getting bored anyway. The games going well, like I said, but my pulse isn’t racing. I hold onto Gary as he tries to get into space, twisting his nipple really hard. That has got to hurt!
‘Mikey, give it a break man, we’re supposed to be having fun.’
‘Hey, I am mate, at least I can kick the ball straight.’, Its hard to resist but I don’t slap his balding head, just dig my nails into his arm. I’ve grown them long especially.
‘Let go, now.’ I let go. Gary’s tone tells me he’s serious. Must be his time of the week or something. He grabs my hand and crushes my fingers, ‘Fun, remember.’ Nearly putting me on the floor.
A few of the others join in. Telling me this and telling me that. I am having fun though; aren’t they? I guess these brothers have some special needs. I’ve been coming for a month now. I was asked to leave by the guys I used to play with. Don’t know why. I go as if to spit at Gary.
Whooa. Did he not like that. I’m quick on my feet and dodge his swing, stepping sideways. He’s bigger than me so I let Ben step in. He just looks at me. I think I’ve done something wrong. Gary is walking off, I guess he can’t take a bit of banter.
‘Gary come on man, am not meaning anything by it’, I approach palms upwards, head to one side, and the cheekiest smile you’ll ever see.
‘Well, Mikey, you’ve been coming how many weeks?? You’re just getting worse, you don’t seem to realise what you’re doing,’ he wipes sweat from his head, steam rises comically from his head. I bite my lip.
‘Look man, it’s just a bit of banter, I’ll tone it down. Promise. Can’t say fairer can I. You can’t go anyway, we’ve only just got numbers.’
Gary looks up. Maybe he’s minded not play because of me but we’ve got the pitch for another thirty five minutes. If he goes the games ruined. Everyone gathers round, hoping this is half time not full time. Water’s passed around. There is silence.
Gary picks up the ball and chucks it at me, ‘Come on then you, but sort it out.’ For a second then I thought we were going to stop. I’d have been annoyed, I so look forward to Friday night football, I wouldn’t have been happy with Gary if he’d spoilt it.
We kick off, Gary and Zane are playing well. There’s no way that we can win this now, but things have settled down. I’m concentrating on the game. Ben grunts at me, he’s barely acknowledging me. I’m in goal at the moment, which is boring. I call to Eric. He just waves me away. Did someone die and no one’s told me?
Lil G passes to Zane, who knocks it on to Gary. Gary’s on to score and I rush out to get the ball, my feet going through him as I go. Penalty!!
‘What’re you doing, what is that about, you’ve got some serious problems man, serious.’, Gary’s face is virtually touching mine, spittle hitting my glasses. Minging man.
‘Gary, I slipped, honestly, I swear that wasn’t on purpose. Look’ I point to my trainers, ‘There’s no grip isn’t it, its wet.’ He lets go of my shirt,
‘Ok, maybe. Penalty though?’
‘Defoe, defoe, I was out of the box anyway.’
Zane steps up to take the penalty, I can’t let this go. No way. I walk out to him.
‘You’re a….’ I say into his ear,
‘You’re mum’s a…’, comes the response, I look at Zane and kick the ball away. No one’s impressed. These guys are lame, where’s their sense of fun?
He takes the penalty, I’m no keeper, so there’s no way I’ll save this. The shot is hard and low to the left, I don’t even move. Goal. At least someone else has to go in goal now. I walk out, Ben taking my place.
This is boring anyway. I get the ball at the half way line, I’m past Gary and have Zane in front of me, LIL G in goal to beat. I run at Zane, slipping the ball through his legs. Easy as,
‘Sorry, mate’. I laugh, I shoot, LIL G pushes the ball wide.
‘What are you sorry for man,’ Zane demands,
‘Unless am mistaken, I just made you look like a fool?’.
‘Whatever. Mikey you chief, it’s not funny.’
I reckon he’s ready to bite. Hope he sees it that way.
We play on a while. Still a bit quiet. I get the ball off Eric in our half. Quick one two with Ben, getting the ball back I again step past Gary, nice guy, no skill, and now Zane. I know what to do, surely he’ll not let me again? Two nutmegs? Not a chance. I swerve left, playing the ball once more through Zane’s legs. I’m off towards the goal when I feel a sharp pain in my arm.
I’ve been grabbed. I’m face down on the ground. The pain is unbearable, the position it feels to be in is impossible. I look up at Zane. He pushes me with the side of his hand, my head scraping on a mix of sand and astroturf. I spit out sand and taste warm blood in my mouth.
‘You just don’t get it. You always go too far, man. Just don’t bother next time. Fun is fun right, but you’re just twisted bro. You shout at your own team, you wind up the opposition – this is supposed to be friendly, fun, it’s not. If you come next week, then, well forget it.’, he shakes his head and walks away. Gary sat me up,
‘He’s right man, dunno what to say. Just leave it for a while. We keep warning you, you’re tapped man. Someone’ll call you yeah.’. Ben leaving with him, not even looking back.
Eric was still with me,
‘You do see don’t you? They’re right. What is it? You just don’t seem to see that you’re winding everyone up. Then you just do it more. Sorry man but you need to fix up. Big time. I brought you down here, you’re just an embarrassment. I’m gonna have to go sort this.’
As Eric stood up I held my good arm out, to get a pull up. Shaking it lightly, but waving me away.
‘Come on man, help us, am hurt. I see now. Honestly.’ The pain is overpowering me, but am starting to see, to realise what I have been doing. Was it too late? I feel faint. As Eric leaves the court as I whisper ‘Sorry’.
