For Michael
19th February, 16:26
The No Man's Land between us
explodes another hundred miles.
And the air burns with apprehension.
There was warning; the carrier pigeon
I sent, with one foot weighted,
burdened.
The bombardment begins.
Words collect, stumble over the top
of my lips in shock, straining
the barbed wire defences
we had painstakingly erected
over the years, to protect ourselves
from each other.
I flee the front line,
half expecting you to follow
from your side.
I do not know how it ends.
Perhaps you will be the one
to break the stalemate?
We are both as stubborn.
No unconditional surrender on the horizon.
But, one day, I hope you will remember
the love buried beneath the blood and mud
and come to shake my hand,
friend, brother.
Comments
Belle Green | February 26, 2009 - 11:23
Excellent poem! Very well written:) Well done.
Silver Spun Sand | February 26, 2009 - 11:28
Once again, a poem that is rich with all your hallmarks, Magic.
My very favourite stanza:-
"There was warning; the carrier pigeon
I sent, with one foot weighted,
burdened."
Love this imagery:-)
Tina xxx
MistakenMagic | February 26, 2009 - 11:31
Thank you Tina and Belle Green! I've sent your reviews to the Michael, he's starting to warm to the idea of a poem about him on here! ;p
Magic xxx
jennifer | February 26, 2009 - 12:13
Love the way the war imagery is used metaphorically so effectively, esp:
'But, one day, I hope you will remember
the love buried beneath the blood and mud'
Superb write!
J x
MistakenMagic | February 26, 2009 - 12:20
Thank you Jen!
And gosh a cherry! I'll have to send Michael some flowers for this one ;)
Magic xxx
threeleafshamrock | February 26, 2009 - 17:29
Wonderful! I have to agree with Jen; the war metaphor is inspired and brilliantly incorporated. I know that I always say this (and am probably getting boring at this stage) but you finish every piece on a memorable note - not accidental I am sure. Until the very last line, this could be referring to lovers, partners; for me the brother insert was almost a twist and all the better for it. A no-brainer for the cherry pickers!
Chris XX
MistakenMagic | February 26, 2009 - 20:48
Thank you so much Chris! I'm glad you enoyed it ;)
Magic xxx
Nathan Bednarek | February 27, 2009 - 00:10
'We are both as stubborn.
No unconditional surrender on the horizon.'
Phew! This is so powerful, so sad.
The last stanza gives hope in a seemingly hopeless situation. Well done and thank you for posting this amazing piece of poetry.
Nathan.
MistakenMagic | February 27, 2009 - 18:18
Thank you Nathan for the amazing review!
Magic xxx
Nathan Bednarek | February 27, 2009 - 22:46
Poem of the week! Why is this not a surprise? ;-)
Again, well done! xox
MistakenMagic | February 28, 2009 - 11:34
Thank you Nathan! And Poem of the week! *scream* Gosh thank Tony!!
Magic xxx
littleditty | March 1, 2009 - 23:06
well done Magic :o)
MistakenMagic | March 2, 2009 - 18:04
Thank you ld! ;)
Magic xxx
Dynamaso | March 3, 2009 - 00:54
What a brilliant poem and deserved of the week's pick too. Excellent, inspirational work.
MistakenMagic | March 3, 2009 - 13:35
Thank you Dynamaso!
Magic xxx