It must have been after midnight when
he stumbled into the hospital.
He was a bald scarecrow with grey skin
like stone.
Of course we took him in, gave him a bed.
He refused the striped bed clothes.
From then he slept for days.
And I watched over him, captivated.
His words came short and sharp
like gun fire.
Strange. We asked his name and he replied
with what we supposed was his date of birth.
Three. Eight. One. Nine.
Any sudden movement made him
twitch like a stray cat stalking crows.
He said his head was a crowded
train platform with a thousand voices
screeching like cattle cars on rails.
At night he clung to me like a child.
He said he feared those who had hunted him
were moving in the dark corners of the room.
The days fell like dominos into one another.
It was his time to leave
and begin his search for the past.
He thanked me for everything
I had given him. I asked what it was
I had given.
"Silence" he replied.
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | October 18, 2008 - 11:18
This beautifully poignant poem of yours, Magic, left me quite speechless. As always you write with a maturity that is to be admired.
The ending is quite wonderful in its simplicity and these lines really got to me:-
"He said his head was a crowded
train platform with a thousand voices
screeching like cattle cars on rails."
I also like your reference to the days falling into one another like dominoes and the reference to the 'striped sheets' a brilliant touch.
Well done, indeed:-)
Tina x
Nathan Bednarek | October 18, 2008 - 12:28
The ending was so powerful it quite literally knocked me off my feet ;-)
This is yet another beautiful love poem Magic. It’s very abstract, but surprisingly real and familiar. I read this poem like somebody's journal- I feel quite invasive, yet unaware of the privacy being broken as I read this. This poem really is what your nickname says- MistakenMagic. Beautiful, well done.
Nathan ;-x
tamara (not verified) | October 18, 2008 - 15:54
Hi Magic!I too quote the lines Tina wrote,
"He said his head was a crowded
train platform with a thousand voices
screeching like cattle cars on rails."
That imagery is so striking!
It is fantastic work and I always wait in anticipation for your work to pop up as it is always a worthy read.
Well done.Lynne.x
MistakenMagic | October 18, 2008 - 15:58
Oh Tina and Nathan! Thank you so much for your wondeful comments :) Your responses have blown me away! Even though the subject of the poem is something I could never even start to comprehend I've always held 'Guardian Angel' close to my heart. I'm glad you could both draw something from it and your praise means so much to me - thank you.
Magic xx
MistakenMagic | October 18, 2008 - 16:13
Thank you for your feedback Tamara! You're too kind -I'm embarrassed now :) I'm truly glad my work means something to you!
Magic xx
littleditty | October 25, 2008 - 05:24
Magic - this is excellent - it is difficult to write on this - i have found it so -i liked this poem because, like you have tried with your more recent one, this one allows the distance that we do inevitably have of the subject matter to work in the poems favour - a very powerful poem, extremely well told - and i wonder if you have sent this off to any organisations which deal with survivor testimony, or Holocaust generally, or any Jewish publication - a newspaper for example might be a place to start, any i am sure would be able to offer you other suggestions as to where to send it, The Jewish Museum also - because if you would like to have this poem do its magic out in the world, i can think of several places where it would sit well, on paper or wall - to google may give you some ideas - I feel it would be well received. Very well done.
MistakenMagic | October 25, 2008 - 09:15
Gosh, thank you so much for the feed back littleditty! I have considered submitting my holocaust poetry 'into the world' - but I was at a loss as to where to start. Being the technology addict that I am I never looked past other websites, but papers and museums are an excellent idea! Sometimes I worry what people will think about me writing about the holocaust, as the majority of writers appear to be Jewish or have some link to what happened. But that's silly right? I'm just so moved by all the films and documentaries I see and all the books I read. So if you have any addresses that could help me, please let me know ;) And thank you again for such a glowing review!
Magic xxx
littleditty | October 25, 2008 - 13:36
Magic, don't worry, what happened then is not just a Jewish story, it is the World's story - my family, some escaped capture, or were liberated from the camps, my mum collects testimonials - i think the British Museum online has a bank of audio testimonials? - google! I know some people who might be able to give me some names of specific people to send to - i'll ask - might take a while though - so google! Stick a hello letter in an envellope explaining a little about you, and send! Anyone who receives such a letter and sensitive poem will be moved, as I was, and will probably know better than I what to do next! Good Luck :o)
http://www.abctales.com/story/littleditty/holocaust-stone---hyde-park-ap...
MistakenMagic | October 25, 2008 - 16:57
Thank you so much for your advice littleditty :) Please let me know if and when you can find any one I could contact - I'm going to start with sending a letter to 'Beth Shalom' the holocaust centre as I have their address. I'll let you know how I get on! Oh and I read the poem in the link, beautful and thought-provoking! Words cannot do it justice!
Magic x
threeleafshamrock | February 3, 2009 - 20:31
Wonderful, Poignant, Haunting. A class apart, showing amazing insight and understanding of feelings and of how to capture them like a photograph (only better).
Chris XX