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Siren

Posted by MistakenMagic on October 15, 2008 - 16:34
from the ABC set Dear Romeo - The Love Poems

I am a mirage
born into a cradle
of opium dreams.
At night you sit
in your concave room,
basking in the violet
artificial glow
of the television screen,
watching me dance
across the frame.
But I tell you now,
if you were to peel back
my skin like wrapping paper
and rip the russet muscles
from my bones,
force open the doors
of my rib cage
as if opening a cupboard,
expecting to find
a magical land,
you would discover instead
my shrunken, cobwebbed heart;
her face turned away,
with a sign hanging around her neck
that reads;
Back in ten years,
after I have washed
the blood from
my hands.

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Comments

Silver Spun Sand | October 15, 2008 - 16:46

Not quite sure how you do it, Magic, but you manage to create such an atmosphere with your poetry and this is certainly no exception.

" ... if you were to peel back
my skin like wrapping paper
and rip the russet muscles
from my bones ..."

Brilliant imagery here and 'rip the russet muscles' an effective use of alliteration.

The ending is rich in dark 'Macbeth-like' undertones.

Good work, Magic:-)

Tina x

littleditty | October 15, 2008 - 16:50

that's amazing poetry :Oo

Nathan Bednarek | October 15, 2008 - 16:56

Now this is Magical ;-) a great poem, much enjoyed. Well done.

Nathan.

MistakenMagic | October 15, 2008 - 17:54

Thank you for the great reviews everyone :) And a special thank you to Tina for proof-reading!

tamara | October 15, 2008 - 21:36

Wow,what a talent you have!beautiful magic.x

tcook | October 16, 2008 - 13:06

Agreed - a very good poem and well worth the cherry.

Not sure about the reference to opium dreams though - and I guess the concave room is the chest and the entrance to the heart.

MistakenMagic | October 16, 2008 - 14:20

Thanks for the cherry Tony! The concave room idea can be taken in different ways - of course as the chest and also actually as a room, but a cramped, dirty room of an obsessive. Siren was always open to interpretation - whatever the reader wants to draw from it!

And thank you for such a kind review Tamara :)

sunshine | October 17, 2008 - 17:39

wonderful opening and some superb phrases throughout. Nice work. Margot