I heard the thunder of a lawnmower
churning up an ocean of grass; its salty blades
splayed as I navigated the fault lines of the path.
It was then I saw her - bobbing
between tectonics, afloat on a park bench -
eyes clouded over and far away.
Her red dress was ablaze, flowing over
the curved horizons of her legs;
a sunset split, right down the middle.
Thick, dark hair, curled into waves -
tumbled over the dams of her shoulders
in shimmering floods.
On the bench's arm, her fingers fell
in time - a concert pianist's constant rain.
Not impatient. Just waiting.
I found myself drawn to her strange moon.
My lungs inhaling hurricanes, I found courage;
took a seat at her side.
Suddenly, her sharp gazed turned on me.
Lightning! With a crack, blue forks of her irises
stripped the skin from my tree of bone.
But then she smiled - her lips a cradle
of summer cloud - and said,
"Lovely weather today, isn't it?"
Comments
jennifer | May 21, 2009 - 20:43
Superb change in tone at the end, very funny indeed! Great poetry as usual! Your imagery is fantastic!
J x
Nathan Bednarek | May 21, 2009 - 22:48
Just wow...
I honestly think this is one of your best love poems, and there's a lot to choose from!
I agree with Jennifer, the imagery is absolutely fantastic! This poem has a fragrance of its own. The tone of the poem is exclamatory, yet humble. Its confidence is emphasised by its modesty.
All this makes the piece a joy to read. Well done.
‘Her red dress was ablaze, flowing over
the curved horizons of her legs;
a sunset split, right down the middle.’
Again, just wow...
Nathan.
Curse of 222 | May 21, 2009 - 23:34
i'm starting to get tired of having no choice but to leave comments about how wonderful your work is. so i'm going to abstain...yep, i am gonna stand firm and say nothing. no matter how good it is. i'm serious about this, magic.you can no longer tempt me with fantastic imagery and clever phrasing.
jason
MistakenMagic | May 22, 2009 - 09:41
Jen - Thank you so much! I'm glad I managed to pull off the ending ;)
Nathan - Wow, thank you for such a detailed comment! I'm really happy you like this one ;)
Jason - Awww please keep comenting Jason - I'll give you cookies *waggles cookie* ;p
Magic xxx
threeleafshamrock | May 22, 2009 - 10:15
Beautiful, sharp and funny; love the ending and of course the imagery. Well done!
Chris XX
MistakenMagic | May 22, 2009 - 14:09
Thank you Chris! Glad you liked the ending ;)
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | May 22, 2009 - 17:45
"But then she smiled - her lips a cradle
of summer cloud ..."
These lines are so very beautiful and the rest of the poem is a gem, dear Magic.
Tina xxx
MistakenMagic | May 22, 2009 - 20:01
Thank you Tina! You've picked out my favourite line of imagery ;)
Magic xxx
Curse of 222 | May 23, 2009 - 23:16
well, i think maybe for cookies i could be persuaded to keep reading and commenting. i do so love cookies!
jason