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What was it like?

Posted by MistakenMagic on October 24, 2008 - 18:59
from the ABC set Do Poppies Grow at Auschwitz?

You ask me what it was like ... there.
I tell you to imagine plucking
the stars from the sky
and collecting them in a wicker basket
then leaving them to fade
to a vulgar yellow
so they can be sewn
on to our costumes.
Stare at the naked sky.
It is as black as the eyes
of everyone around you.
They move like ghosts.
Whispers of who we once were
stir amongst the mountains of hair
and rustle the photographs
piled like autumn leaves;
their faces, unblinking and naive.
Auschwitz, with its black rail tracks
spreading like tentacles in the snow.
You ask me what it was like.
I tell you,
you do not want to know.

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Comments

Ewan | October 24, 2008 - 19:11

Very fine beginning. You need 'sewn' for 'sown'.

'Whispers of who we once were
stir amongst the mountains of hair
and rustle the photographs
piled like autumn leaves;' is particularly strong.

An affecting ending. As good as anything you have posted here, in my opinion.

Expect fruit.

Ewan

MistakenMagic | October 24, 2008 - 19:14

Thank you for your feed back Ewan - I've edited accordingly! I'll blame that on a blonde moment :) (shhh)

Magic x

tamara (not verified) | October 24, 2008 - 20:31

Beautiful,really enjoyed.

Silver Spun Sand | October 24, 2008 - 20:46

Magic - is there no end to your talents? A little gem and no mistake.

"Auschwitz, with its black rail tracks
spreading like tentacles in the snow."

My favourite lines:-)

By the way, that Ewan is sure on the ball. Sorry I didn't notice it earlier:-(

Tina xxx

MistakenMagic | October 24, 2008 - 20:55

Thanks Lynne, much appreciated :) Hope you're well!

And thanks Tina, for all the help you've given me, don't worry about that one little error - I didn't spot it either!

Magic x

Nathan Bednarek | October 30, 2008 - 00:35

This is a very captivating poem. The 'plucking the stars' image is absolutely wonderful. As usual, when I read your work I detect a hint of that 'Magic' of yours ;-)

Nathan.

MistakenMagic | October 30, 2008 - 09:27

Thanks Nathan! I do my best to add a 'sparkle' to all my poems :)