Hatred Keeps You Toasty Warm

Ooh.....there's so many ways I can get my revenge
On a devil, a fiend, who calls herself 'friend'.
I could set up a mantrap
Upon her front lawn,
Set her car alarm wailing from dusk until dawn,
Could creep through her garden in deadness of night
Drop stuff in her fishpond and give her a fright.
I'd love to see her face the hundreds she's wronged,
An instinct tells me that she wouldn't last long...

Now my hatred is cooling, my spirit is calm,
No throwing things, shrieking, or acts which alarm.
So rather than fury, blind rage and rash actions,
I'll settle for something to cause a reaction
Without death or injury; this idea's best-
On the Viagra website, subscribe her address! ;)