Gone are the days of evening normality
I come home and go straight on A-B-C
Vindicated by occasional feedback
English language in rhyme for all to see
Malnutrition at danger level
Every breath, waiting to be released
Appease my suffering soul, I’m on my knees
Come on...
Here I am...
Eternal damnation round the corner
Relieve me please!
Ratio is waiting...
Yearning for peace
Comments
Nathan Bednarek | January 20, 2010 - 00:49
Very interesting ;-) I really like this:
'I come home and go straight on A-B-C
Vindicated by occasional feedback'
I think you'll find that 'A-B-C' will benefit you in many ways, especially as a writer and a person ;-)
Well done on this one.
Nathan.
Hal 9000 | January 20, 2010 - 19:25
But did you spot the secret message Nathan?
tcook | January 21, 2010 - 13:25
It does become obsessive!
Hal 9000 | January 21, 2010 - 17:46
Yes Mr Cook it certainly does... but did you spot the secret message?
Nathan Bednarek | January 21, 2010 - 23:58
... Yes the first letter of each line forms a sentence... ;-P This is amazing actually. You formed the poem in such a way that when I read it I actually focus on what it says as it is an interesting poem, making it harder to spot the secret message, which makes sense, as it is indeed a 'secret' message ;-p
Again, well done on this one.
Nathan.
Hal 9000 | January 22, 2010 - 09:53
Thanks Nathan