“Big Mama Nature”

A dog, a need to pee, a leg and a sky to claim –
if only the owner could proudly do the same.
Well, the sky’s claimed by a giraffe’s long neck –
always confused about the whereabouts of her legs.
A tortoise can’t find much use for his legs either;
what if he’s in need after a few pints of lager?
Speaking of emergency, an antelope’s head always jumps –
no wonder she needs a physiotherapist for neck cramps.
If you think that’s bad, an owl doesn’t stop moving her head;
she can’t decide where to look and she’s supposed to be well-read.
But the zebras are pretty smart – the lions stopped hoping;
hunting something that looks like a pedestrian crossing.
Still, a lion is vicious, strong, dominant and brave –
yeah right, probably a chihuahua after a good shave.
Don’t let the hair fool you; a grizzle is a living proof –
you can’t block a truck just because it has a layer of fluff.
But when you hear the rattlesnake, you made the wrong step –
it sounds like my wife’s teeth when I leave the toilet seat up.
Speaking of teeth, when a piranha smells some meat
all you need is a French waiter to say ‘Bon appetit’.
And of course the great white shark, the big fish in the sea –
he’s like the Godfather, ‘We have a problem you see...’
The elephants are the largest on land – their thing
is their memory; a GPS to the nearest Burger King.
But the hyenas eat anything, scavenge and laugh at everything –
well, my dear race of MAN, remind you of something?
It’s not all bad; the whales eat all the time and
when things get out of hand they take a brisk walk on land.
Which brings us to the man and all logic goes a bit wonky –
no wonder some people think we’re a bunch of Darwin’s monkeys...