“Calypso’s Charms”

Hi Nathan, you have a riot of similes and images running through this piece that shouldn't work together, but do, as they present a snapshot of the turbulence of the narrators mind as he tries to capture a sinuous grace allure and promise.

Just a personal note, I think you could lose that last stanza and the poem would be stronger for allowing the reader to develop the theme.
Cracking :-) atb lenax

'It is neither stature nor authority
that paves a passageway,
but the line of your back;
the spine of a woman
confidently curved
like the neck of a swan.'

- My favourite stanza! Such beautiful, breath-taking images, Nathan. Really well done on this one!

Magic xxx

Thanks Lena. I appreciate your comment. I see what you mean about the last stanza. In fact, Magic had suggested this via email a while ago. Now that I look at the poem in its complete form, I think I understand why the last stanza doesn't really work here. What do you think if I rephrase it this way?

'It is not the spells you cast
that make you so enticing,
it is the way you look up
from your meal, as if opening
an envelope to reveal what is inside...'

Again, thank you for your suggestion and for your lovely comment. I value any advice anybody can give me, so I'm glad you shared your opinion with me.

x

Thank you Magic. I'm glad you like it so much. I also want to thank you for all your help on this one. I always valued your opinion and I owe some of my best work to your sound advice ;-)

Cheers xox

Hello again, Nathan. I really like your suggested edit for the final stanza, but of course it has to be your decision in the end ;) And don't thank me - you're the poet!

Magic xxx

As Magic says, Nathan,it has to be your decision, as it is your poem. Whatever sits right with you, is the right choice.

Either way, very well done on this. The picture works admirably with it.

My favourite lines:-

"...the tango of your dress
to the lead of your legs."

Well done, again;-)

Tina xox

Thank you girls. I decided to change it. I think that it reads better now. Before, the ending sounded forced, whereas now it flows more naturally in my opinion.

Thank you Tina for all your help on this one and for your lovely comment.

Love, Nathan xox

New Nathan Bednarek
This a a magical, spirited poem,
love all of it.
lines;
It's not the locks of your hair
that beg me run them through
my fingers cascading as if a waterfall.
it's is more the way it bounces everytime
you laugh, like a ball dropped to the ground
Imagery great, think of an advert can see hair
shining and bounces side to side.
jule x (:-

Hehe, and thank you for that 'spirited' comment. I always find your comments very uplifting and I'm glad you like this one. Cheers! xox

I really enjoyed this, a very beautiful poem.
Every line works for me and matches perfectly with the picture. You have stunning attention to detail as every verse is perfect and flows through to the next.

My favourite lines;
'It is not the perfection
of your lips, gives me a desire
to pull you close - kiss you,
but the way you hold the fork
as if each bite of dessert
were the last.'

Great work :)

Beeme XOX

Thank you Beeme. Your comment really gave me a lift. Cheers! x

New Nathan Bednarek
Thankyou nice lifting comment
everyday good and bad changes
and happenings. I need lifting myself
close friend died etc; unexpected 4 us
with on that month and day not knowing,then
nearly 4 weeks we knew nothing till sept 21st paper sept;23rd AUG; 30th.
5 years etc; that's another from me.
and previous church in, but in another
been lovely day.
julie x cavalcader (:-

Hey Julie! Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it.

I'm really sorry about your friend. I know what it feels like to lose somebody close to you and your family. It may all seem very empty at first, but the memory of that person can fuel us to keep going. I hope this will be the same for you.

I also have something else that keeps me going. As you probably already know, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and one of our major beliefs is the promise made by God to resurrect those who passed away, which will happen in the near future. Our faith is really strong; hence our trust in that promise is powerful too. We share our beliefs about this with others because we can see how much it helps them to cope. I hope, in one way or another, it'll help you ;-)

Love, Nathan xox

It's very clever how you did this "in midair". I don't know how you did it.

Thanks!

You have to write & emsp; (without spaces and yes WITH & at the beginning of it)- one gives a space the width of an 'm', so you have to do a couple in a row and then write the word (again, no spaces, all together).

I hope this helps ;-)

;-)

I’m sure! Thanks bud! What will they come up with next!?