“A Noteworthy Effort”

'I sit not too far
behind, amused at the forced
efforts not to stand out and be seen
or admired – just another blade of grass;
just another red-dress at the bar.
Perfect posture and legs crossed –
both hands on one knee.'

- This stanza was so beautiful Nathan! I love it :)

Magic xxx

Thanks a lot Magic. This stanza describes that girl I noticed and I'm glad you think it's beautiful, because I think so too ;-)

Nathan xox

Thank you for the cherry!!!!!!!!!!

I was hoping for a tenth cherry and I'm really happy to get one.

Thanks again!

Well done Nathan,very precise work.x
'like a cat minding its own business-
just sniffing around; not there to be noticed.'
Unique!

Well thank you dear Tamara, I appreciate your comment ;-)

xox

Well done on hitting double figures Nathan! I knew this would be a cherry - just didn;t want to curse it by saying anything ;)

Magic xxx

I just loved this, Nathan. Pure poetry!!

Many congrats on the well-deserved cherry:-)

Tina

Thanks Magic and don't worry, anything you'd say wouldn't be a curse, but a touch of Magic! ;-p

Tina, thank you so much for your lovely comment. I'm glad you liked it so much. ;-)
You disappeared on us for a while. What happened? ;-) I'm glad you're back with us now.

Love, Nathan.

just another blade of grass;
just another red-dress at the bar.

Love that! Whitmanesque?
I agree with the point about precision. This piece knows exactly what it's doing. Top stuff.

Thanks a lot Jasper. I really appreciate your comment.

You set a high standard Nathan and then keep doing it. I agree with all the above; great structure, great content, great poem.

Chris.

;-) Cheers Chris. I'm glad you think so ;-)

Hi Nathan, thought those warm last two lines could stand on their own at the end there- good poem, all well observed, well shown. Nifty rhyme and structure for a smoooth read - 'about to strike up the charm' -a charming poem, well done :)

Heh, cheers LD. I'm glad you find this poem so effective. However, I think that I owe it to the girl who inspired it. If I didn't notice her I wouldn't be able to frame her image into this poem.

Again, thanks for your lovely comment LD; it's nice to hear from you again ;-)

Nathan.

Congratulations on your cherry, Nathan. I am sure that there will be plenty more.
Well done.

Thanks a lot Luigi. I really appreciate your comment.

What was ironic? Why didn't you go for it?

A superb poem, fantastic imagery, but it leaves me unsatisfied - as if the last verse is missing...

J x

Maybe because the last verse didn't actually happen yet... ;-)

This poem is supposed to be the start of something, not the end of it.

Thank you for your lovely and very interesting comment.

I see....! What happened?!

J x

I will soon answer that question with another poem... hopefully ;-)

I shall be keeping an eye out...!

J x

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