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“Trotting Along”

Posted by Nathan Bednarek on February 11, 2009 - 02:04
from the ABC set Transparent mirrors.

She trots; she trots along the hallway,
somewhat sarcastically; not in a hurry at all –
forced along its snakelike throat,
after she was swallowed whole,
and guided down to its stomach
by an invisible muscle.

She trots; she trots along the hallway,
somewhat confused; where is she trotting to?
She does not have a clue,
just a green piece of paper in her hand
now drenched with her sweat,
fresh like drops of dew.

She trots; she trots along the hallway,
somewhat curious; though not expecting much at all.
She had knocked on many doors before –
exactly six-hundred and sixty-six of them.
All had brought her a divine comedy
guided by ‘The Nine Circles’ brochure.

She trots; she trots along the hallway,
somewhat avaricious; faces of despair ignored.
She had reached a door of pure gold -
number four, ‘The fortune awaits you’.
She immediately pushes through the door.
She does not have a clue...

Nathan Bednarek 2009.

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Comments

MistakenMagic | February 11, 2009 - 18:54

Hello Nathan, now I have to admit I'm a little stumped with this one; you're refering to the nine circles of Dante's hell right? And so there's 666 doors, number of satan. But I don't understand the significance of the fourth door or the green piece of paper, sorry! Am I being thick? I'm sure I'll be glowing about it once I 'get' it ;)

Magic xxx

Nathan Bednarek | February 11, 2009 - 18:57

Check on Wikipedia what the fourth circle of hell is in Dante's Divine Comedy.

Thanks for commenting.

Nathan.

MistakenMagic | February 11, 2009 - 19:34

*goes on Wikipedia* Oh! Wow! Now I can say that this is a very original idea for a poem, creates a very ominous atmosphere. The repetition works really well at creating a constant rhythm ;)

Magic xxx

Nathan Bednarek | February 11, 2009 - 19:39

A revelation! ;-p

Thanks a lot Magic.

Silver Spun Sand | February 12, 2009 - 11:28

Well all I can say, Nathan, is I am very glad for that explanation. It stumped me too.

An excellent poem nonetheless and I agree with Magic, hands down, about the form that you created adding to its atmosphere.

You are obviously a lot more cleverer than what I am:-)

Tina x

Nathan Bednarek | February 12, 2009 - 11:35

Thanks a lot dear Tina and I appreciate your comment. Yes, I think it's easier to understand this piece if you know that the character = greed & sloth. Perhaps this is not clear enough in this poem, but as you know I never like to give too much away ;-)

'You are obviously a lot more cleverer than what I am'

???

Where did that come from? Looking at your work I would say the exact opposite ;-)

Thanks again for your lovely comment.

Nathan.

PedroJulio | February 14, 2009 - 02:36

Remarkable work, I must say, I dare not say much fearing not to give proper credit to it. It's just inspirational for an aspiring writer like me. My respects, Mr. Bednarek.

Nathan Bednarek | February 14, 2009 - 12:36

Wow, what a comment! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my poem and I'm glad it inspires you like this.

By the way, welcome to abctales! ;-)

Thanks again.

Nathan.