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“What Ya Came ‘ere to Say”

Posted by Nathan Bednarek on February 15, 2009 - 01:32
from the ABC set Coffee Spoons.

S’pose ya ain’ here to judge me, eh?
What? Jus’ gonna offer me a helpin’ hand?
Turn me life around, will ya?
Take this old geezer to a new, promised land?

Quote Moses this, Jesus that,
whils’ I keep the good book shut.
Jus’ tell me where me life’s at.

Ya ain’ got nothin’ I haven’ heard,
read or seen before. D’ya know how a gun works?
C’mon, show ya on that bird.
Nah, too easy; I’ll show ya on me.

Yeah, why throw me life away?
The big-G is ‘ere to stay.
All I need to do is pray.

Then I need to hunt the bastard down,
an’ that queer postman who returned the mail –
said the address was unknown,
like lookin’ for the Holy Grail.

Call this blasphemy, me mate.
Nah, he didn’ choose me fate.
His response is jus’ bit late.

Oh go on, show me the better way.
Comb me hair, shave me face, take me Scotch away.
Sit with me an’ cry with me!
Please. Tell me what ya came ‘ere to say.

Then you smiled, sighed and said,
‘Take just one step towards Him,
and He’ll come running your way.’

Nathan Bednarek 2009.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Silver Spun Sand | February 15, 2009 - 08:39

An extremely thought provoking piece, here Nathan. One that begs to be read out loud. A real performance piece.

There are many issues here, and at the end of the poem, you leave the reader open to many paths to further explore.

I loved it. The dialogue is well done, the narrator, three-dimensional. The last stanza, beautiful.

All in all, a well-crafted poem, that I feel richer for reading.

Tina x

Nathan Bednarek | February 15, 2009 - 08:42

Thanks Tina. This is a very personal poem, so I'm really glad you like it.

Thanks again ;-x

Nathan.

MistakenMagic | February 15, 2009 - 10:41

Wow! I agree with Tina; a truly poignant read. The last stanza lets the reader reflect on their own choices in life and as with Chris's pieces, I love the accent! This needs to read out loud somewhere, anywhere!

Magic xxx

Nathan Bednarek | February 15, 2009 - 15:27

Thanks a lot Magic. The accent is actually how I speak. Well, I don't sound this bad anymore, but thanks anyway ;-p

Actually, there is a place I can read this out loud. Every week I attend a creative writing club at college to work on and share my poetry, so thank you girls for suggesting this idea and I'll remember it when the half term is over. Cheers!

MistakenMagic | February 15, 2009 - 20:49

That's great that the college has a creative writing club! I actually run a creative writing club for younger students at my school :) They're all so sweet and they call me 'Miss Hainsworth' - I think it has a certain ring to it lol

Magic xxx

threeleafshamrock | February 17, 2009 - 22:05

loved this Nathan but contrary to Tina and Rebecca, I thought the ending actually softened the piece; sort of sanitized it. Does not detract from the absolute class of the poem though...I feel I know the subject almost well from reading this. Well done!

Chris

Nathan Bednarek | February 17, 2009 - 23:03

Thanks Chris. Yes, this poem is meant to be bitter-sweet, so it ends in a sweet way ;-)

I'm glad this didn't take its effectiveness away for you.

Again, thanks for your comment.