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By a Bridge in Winter

Posted by Nick.A on October 17, 2009 - 22:14

The city streets lie muffled under snow
The lofty street light, next’ the river, bends his head,
Giving his gift of a sharp-bright glow,
To the young man with meat and bread,
The shakes and fries-to-go,
The weary reveller leans o’er the parapet,
As trolleys rust through the ice below,
In the shadows his grimace set,
He spews into the cold dark flow,
Turning after, he plants unsteady feet into the snow,
Weaving homeward with many yards still to go,
With many yards still to go.

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Comments

rae1 | October 17, 2009 - 23:27

Hi Nick,

Loved this piece; especially the second line about the street light! Brilliant!

Rachael.

Nick.A | October 18, 2009 - 02:12

Thanks rachael,

The street lamp bending its head was the image that started the poem.

Nick

NikkiR | October 18, 2009 - 12:23

An excellent poem.
Could you use 'lay' instead of 'lie' in the first line?
Nikki

Nick.A | October 19, 2009 - 00:16

Nikki,

I'm glad you like it.
I could use lay but then for consistency I think I'd have to make the whole poem past tense giving me extra syllables for planted and rusted otherwise the first line is going to feel more separated from the rest of the poem than it does. I think using the present tense makes the poem more focussed on the moment - after all its not a big event.

Purely on the line itself though I agree that lay has a better sound.

Nick