Teatime
By Noo
- 751 reads
“But there isn’t any roar when the clock strikes four, Everything stops for tea.” (Goodhart/Hoffman/Sigler)
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4 o’clock, Bakewell – a pot of tea and plum bread, or
Insensibility
Woman 1: But they’re alright when you get to know them.
Woman 2: I know. That’s what I always say; you just have to keep an open mind.
Woman 1: I don’t get the veil thing though. They look kind of dishonest - shifty behind those things.
Woman 2: Yeah, even our dentist wears one and I don’t like it that that you can’t read her expression. You need to see someone’s face to be able to trust them properly.
Woman 1: Terry said they wear them so they can only show their beauty to their own husbands. Well, that makes me laugh for a start. Have you seen some of them? Judging by the shape of them, they’re not exactly lookers when you can see their faces. Arrogant I call it.
Woman 2: It’s like they need to cover up because our men can’t control themselves around them. So what exactly do they think is on everyone else’s mind all the time? I say it must be on theirs for them to think it’s on everyone else’s. It’s logical really.
Woman 1: Yeah, I’m all for live and let live, but come on! Also, if you think about it, you don’t even know who’s behind a veil. It could be a bloke and that doesn’t exactly make you feel safe, does it? You know what their men are capable of doing. I’m sorry, but if they’re even living in Bakewell now, there’s part of me that just want to move out to the country.
*
4 o’clock, Birmingham – mocha and carrot cake, or
Anthem for Doomed Youth
Man 1: I wouldn’t let any daughter of mine look like that, I’m telling you man. That makeup and that skirt. It’s disrespectful.
Man 2: Yeah, shameful man. What kind of family does she come from if she’s allowed out like that?
Man 1: I tell you, when I’m married, I’m knowing what my wife’s doing and where she is twenty four seven.
Man 2: Yeah, I know where she’ll be – three steps behind you, following you wherever you go!
Man 1: Yeah, no messing there, brother.
Man 2: I went to school, to parents’ evening with our Saima last week. Wanted to be sure mom and dad knew how she was doing. Teacher wanted to shake my hand, but I told her I was sorry, I didn’t shake women’s hands. She looked at me like I’d come from another planet, man.
Man 1: What is it some people don’t get?
Man 2: Anyways, this teacher started giving it to me that Saima was mouthy and that when she’s told off about her attitude, she never looks at the teacher who’s telling her. I said to her, doesn’t she know that not looking at someone when you’re being told off is respectful, not disrespectful? I don’t know man, they need to get these teachers trained up proper in schools.
Man 1: Too right. It’s all like community cohesion and that shit, but you got to get how everyone works.
Man 2: You know it, brother. Sometimes people need to step up.
*
4 o’clock, Ludlow– mint tea and caramel shortcake, or
The Parable of the Old Man and the Young
Man 1: So what’re your plans for tomorrow?
Man 2: I’m meeting Geoff and Alan for golf at ten, then we’re looking to catch the Bond film some time in the afternoon. I can’t tell you how much retirement’s suiting my body clock.
Man 3: I feel really jealous. Eight more years, only eight more years!
Man 4: Is there anything you’re planning to do on a regular basis now you’ve got the time?
Man 2: Well, it’s early days yet, of course, so I’m thinking about this and that. I think the one thing I’ve done far more regularly though is read. And actually get to finishing a book!
Man 4: That must seem wonderful.
Man 2: It really is. I tell you what I’ve just finished – Birdsong, by Sebastian Faulks?
Man 1: I’ve not read the book, but there was a film of it wasn’t there?
Man 2: Yes, I’ve not seen it, but I bet the book’s better. I tell you, the portrayal of war, its total futility, hit me hard. It’s very beautiful too – the description of the moss and ivy growing over the gravestones; so sad.
Man 3: I’ll read it when I get a chance, sounds interesting. Have you read The Eye in the Door?
Man 2: The Pat Barker one? Part of that trilogy? I tried to, but couldn’t get on with it. Siegfried Sassoon’s in it and I’ve got no time for benders.
Man 1: I know, hard not to think people like him got what they deserved.
Man 2: Too right.
*
4 o’clock, the National Arboretum, Alrewas – an Americano and Victoria sponge, or
Strange Meeting
Man 1: Excuse me, sweetheart. Just wondering why you lot are at the arboretum?
Me: Hiya, we’ve brought our sixth-formers to look round because they’re doing English coursework and they’ve been studying Wilfred Owen.
Man 1: Oh, what have you looked at while you’ve been here?
Me: Well, the memorial that’s made a big impression on the students is the Shot at Dawn – you know the memorial to the men, kids often, who were shot as cowards? What about you?
Man 1: I’ve come to look at Pegasus – it’s the memorial to the parachute regiments. I come every year. I was a paratrooper in the Falklands and I lost nineteen men on the same day in 1982.
Me: Do you come to remember them? It’s a good place for that.
Man 1: Yes and to find their names. There’s been one name I’ve not found until this year, but I’ve found him now. It made me feel better to see it, to be able to trace it with my finger. It made it a certainty and after all these years, I still wasn’t sure.
I’ll tell you something too, something to tell your students. It’s not about the ‘at the going down of the sun we will remember them’ shit. It’s none of that; because looking back, not one part of any of it was worth anything. Not anything at all. It was all for fucking nothing. Make sure your students know that.
Me: I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
Man 1: I’ve got to go… I’ve…Have a good day, love… I’m sorry.
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Comments
True story, sadly so. Lots
True story, sadly so. Lots to think about here.
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"...(Goodhart/Hoffman/Sigler)
"...(Goodhart/Hoffman/Sigler)..." Unknown to me, I confess to looking them up.
On to Youtube and listened to the Tea song. Got myself sidetracked though with visions of "... plum bread,mocha and carrot cake, caramel shortcake..." Shame I couldn't manage a slice of the Victoria sponge.
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