While trying to write a story,
just a short one, not too long,
my head was full of characters
who could rise above the throng.
Protagonists with charm to spare,
young princesses with golden hair,
heroes conquering inner fears,
celebrating with ice-cold beers.
Soon my head became polluted,
plots all sounded convoluted.
But that was not my biggest crime,
for every line began to rhyme
It looked like writing prose had died,
and soon I sat alone and cried.
Yet nothing dies without a fight,
So I tried again a tale to write.
No narrative or dialogue,
appeared from my poetic smog.
No paragraph extravaganza,
just another bloody stanza.
Then guess who came to witness this slaughter?
Mrs duh-Duh and her lovely daughters,
Anapest, Dactyl, Trochee and Iamb,
just as I shouted, “I don’t give a damn!”
Embarrassed, I offered to retract my words,
for upsetting those young remarkable birds.
But to my consternation never mind surprise,
they assured me I need not apologise.
Having watched me get myself in a pickle,
they’d shared belly laughs and a hearty tickle,
then promised to help me progress on my way,
saying I’d be a poet by the end of the day.
I scoffed at their offer with low expectation,
but listened to them talk of interpretation.
“If you don’t understand, don’t get in a tizzy,
sit down, have a rest, don’t make yourself dizzy.
Forget what it says; think what is it for.
Is it literal, lateral or metaphor?
If it’s still not there and starts causing you pain,
clear your head, plant a seed and read it again
When the egg in your head becomes fertilized,
providing a wonderful sight for sore eyes,
the picture develops and leaps from the page,
You have it! Eureka! You’re in a new age.”
I thanked them and said they were no longer needed,
for all their helpful advice would be heeded.
Now nothing can stop me, I’ll soon be a star,
Because I can now see when a door is a jar.
Comments
oldpesky | December 14, 2011 - 21:19
Good evening, dear scratch, I pray you are well,
escape while you can from this poetic hell.
Oh no, looks like I need help. Where's OTT when required? NUUUURSSSSE!!!!
scratch | December 14, 2011 - 21:45
Old pesky, Good good job. I like the personification of the poetic conventions and it taught me something thereafter. You are a poet and no mistake and one that can phrase a rhyme - sod it I am going to write a rhyming one if it bloody well kills me - and it just might.
Cavalcaderl | December 14, 2011 - 21:56
new oldpesky
What! a poetic rhyming poem,
So bravely it all says.
Love it all.
Quiote freexing out,blast of
rain,after few sang at n/home
My email definitions have all been altered.
Damn nuisance,finding it all.
Hope all is well with you.
julie x
oldpesky | December 14, 2011 - 22:15
Hi julie, great to hear from you, hope you and Ray are well. As you can see, I have a few rhymes up my sleeve and I'm trying to get them out.
seashore | December 15, 2011 - 07:32
Oh dear, I hope you get better soon - rhymitis is a nasty disease, I should know as I had it many years ago and it took me a long time to recover. It still catches me unawares at times but I've learned to nip it in the bud.
Seriously, I thought you did really well here transferring your natural prose style to verse - very funny as usual.
Silver Spun Sand | December 15, 2011 - 15:55
Tremendous stuff, op;-) And, as seashore says, your wonderful wry humour shines through it all.
oldpesky | December 15, 2011 - 17:24
Seashore and Silver, two of the poetic heavyweights (in a literary sense, obviously), I'm really pleased this tickled you so. I hope this rhymitis passes soon, I have the final part of my domestic story to be working on.
I'm humbled to be awarded a cherry for trying something different. Thank you cheery people.
blighters rock | December 15, 2011 - 23:27
Holy Rhymebusters! Sock it to 'em, Pesky.
A tittavating and quaffable scrawl from the master of the naughty step.
Overthetop1 | December 16, 2011 - 12:19
I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I will, never, ever forgive myself. But you do know I have other patients who actually bother to pay my fees to attende to.
This is brilliant - very funny- and not a rabbit in sight. Hope you get better soon and your prose muse returns - rested and ready to fight another day. In the meantime - just bask in your poetic glory. All the poets love you - so it can't all be bad.
shoe | December 16, 2011 - 13:02
Oh, oldpesky, what have you done,
taken poetry and made it...FUN
'No narrative or dialogue,
appeared from my poetic smog.
No paragraph extravaganza,
just another bloody stanza.'
bloody brilliant!!
oldpesky | December 16, 2011 - 16:34
Thank you, blighters, OTT and shoe. Today I am basking in my poetic glory, awaiting the call to be the next poet laureate. I'll give them another half hour.
Cavalcaderl | December 16, 2011 - 16:50
new Oldpesky
Yes,this is amazing,with a great
sense of humour. Well deserved cherries!
hope all is well with you! Engine computer!
if get my meaning,has all altered,like send button is at the top! and not bottom all changed!
Like stanza Having watched me get myself in a pickle,
they'd shared belly laughs,
and a hectic tickle,
then promised to help me progress my way,
saying I'd be a poet
by the end of the day!
Bloody brill; too I say
Fed up we have two phones,diff; rooms
if get it first yacking away,says send their
love to me whoever,but never says speak to me!
Only when chooses them his friends of x work.
But one she took me out recently by car strange!
Had come and ask if call for him,his memory going sure!
Gone snooker not sure where, says not sure! himself weird.Must be local. I always at church homeless mucking in doing all, and boxing day,without him,good
be involved,so going and doing my own things!
Iv'e always wanted go out christmas dinner or away!
Not so,this year either, so doing my own things out!
Can't get him connect with me! Oh! well central heatings on lovely. 'Jazz' cat 'Green Eyes' popped
in last night 1o minutes.
A very happy Christmas to you and all
AbcTaler's Editor t.cook (Tony) and The Team
Can be sad or difficult time many, and those on own,
and n/homes and elderly.
cavalcaderl julie xx
Stan | December 16, 2011 - 19:35
Hehe... great! I've heard of meta-fiction. I think you just invented meta-verse!
oldpesky | December 17, 2011 - 10:49
Julie, I'm glad you have the heating on, winter has arrived. I'vr left my own heating on while I'm away so it's not too cold when I return home.
Stan, keep your eyes out for me on Dragons Den trying to punt meta-verse as the next big thing.
skinner_jennifer | December 18, 2011 - 13:14
Just don't know how I missed this one oldpesky,
because it's taking poetry to another level, with
your usual pesky humour.
Brilliant read with all the trimmings on top.
Have a great Christmas.
Jenny.
oldpesky | December 20, 2011 - 10:38
Hello again, Jennifer. You're right about taking poetry to another level - the basement perhaps.
Thanks for taking some time out from your busy writing schedule to give this a quick read. Now get back to work on your mystery, there are a load of us desperate to find out who the killer is. Best of luck.
celticman | December 20, 2011 - 10:51
so you rote a poem, that's no right it should be shite, but isn't so what's this mucking about lark, you are turning into a poetic shark!
jolono | December 20, 2011 - 10:52
OP, really enjoyed this. Quite new to the site so trying to look at lots of peoples work is takinga bit of time. I love the last line of the poem, "I can now see when a door is a jar"
oldpesky | December 20, 2011 - 11:49
Comments, are like a number 46 bus, you wait all day then two come at once. Celticman, lark... Shark... Are you getting the rhyming bug?
Jolono, I think there's a a bit of mileage in the door and a jar thingy. I watch out for a sequel
Linda Wigzell Cress | January 28, 2012 - 10:00
I just LOVE rhyming - Some think it old hat -
But reading this poem has banished all that!
oldpesky | January 30, 2012 - 14:27
I love it when comments are written in rhyme,
so feel free to add to this time after time.
The worst that could happen is you become cursed,
and end up in care with a psychotic nurse.
Oh no, it's starting again...I'm definitely batty,
it's time to self-medicate with a cake and a latte.
Denzella | February 8, 2012 - 21:49
Oh you oldpesky you,
You seem able to write poetry or prose
I can't do either believe me I knows!
And it's bloody sickening!
oldpesky | February 9, 2012 - 19:00
Don't worry, I sometimes feel sick too after reading my rambling pieces of nonsense.
Richard L. Prov... | April 1, 2012 - 10:33
This is really funny, a hillside full of rollicking. Richard LP
oldpesky | April 1, 2012 - 11:12
Hi Richard, glad you got a wee smile out of this one. Unfortunately this poet hasn't made much progress since.
Denzella | April 4, 2012 - 21:29
Couldn't help myself...had to take another read. My doctor says I must wean myself off gradually. If I stop too suddenly I could have a relapse and start insisting, once again, that he writes my prescriptions in verse..or worse! Oh dear, it's coming on again! See what you've done...you should carry a warning like cigarette packets!
Just love your work. Don't think I've read any of your serious stuff yet though. Will do soon..when I'm discharged.
Moya
Cavalcaderl | April 5, 2012 - 11:52
new oldpesky
This is brilliant way of
seeing into poetry,and the mind
how it can accept all or not!
it will come to me in verse,poof! gone.
Keep writing. Definitley clever one! here.
Reading heavy snow parts of Scotland.
Hope your will. Nippy here!
Got sniffles chilly wind,got into me off for a cuppa. Buses are all long
queques. Think spelt right!
I think your great poem, "Put On A Face" definitely for me, as now can put on a bit of make up,taken four weeks.Could have been worse I suppose.
Hope you are better.
"Terry Winstanley" Birthday Good Friday.
"DreamBoats And Petticoats" on tour in.
Happy Birthday "Terry" Think break for now. Few days.
all the best julie xx