She was sleeping when Sam entered her room, eyes closed, breathing shallow and slightly erratic. She looked so peaceful, he thought. There was no indication of the recent trauma she had been through. Her full lips and unwrinkled skin made her seem younger than her years. In his eyes she was as beautiful as when they married over fifty years before.
He wished she would die quickly.
Her health had been on the decline for years but had accelerated in the last six month. Breathing difficulties had came first and then problems with her heart and kidneys. She had been examined by a bevy of specialists who prodded and poked and made erudite suggestions. A massive amount of medications had been prescribed but nothing had helped. She continued to get sicker.
Sam was responsible for her care. He scheduled her doctor appointments, dispensed her meds, encouraged her to eat healthy foods, and did his best to keep up her spirits. As the illness progressed, she had difficulty sleeping. Often she would get out of bed in the middle of the night and go to her favorite chair in the living room where she could breath easier. Although she tried to be quiet, it was inevitable she awaken him. More than one night had been spent sleepless in his bed listening to her cough and struggle to breathe.
The information the doctors gave them was scant. Either they didn’t know what to expect or they deliberately concealed it from him. It was like a walk in dark woods.
In the middle of one particularly bad night as she was struggling to breathe and complained of constant pain, he simply gave up. When he couldn’t reach her doctor, he took her to the emergency room at the nearest hospital. After hours of waiting while tests were made and a seemingly endless cadre of doctors and nurses examined her she was admitted to the hospital.
She was in the hospital for seven days. Again there were countless tests and a steady flow of doctors. New medications were prescribed and a physical therapist designed exercises to help her regain her strength. Despite all of their efforts she did not improve. In fact, she seemed to get weaker. It was when he was helping her to the bathroom that she had her first fall. She simply slid to the floor, as if the muscles in her legs had collapsed, and although she was not injured she could not get up. Since she was a large woman (nearly three hundred pounds) it was necessary to use a manual hoist to get her to her feet. This set the pattern. Whenever she needed to get out of bed two nurses worked in tandem to get her up so she could toddle to the bathroom with the help of a walker. A catheter had been inserted to catch urine so she didn’t need to get up often. Despite the nurse’s efforts she fell twice more and each time a hoist had to be used to get her up.
On the seventh day the doctor decided she was well enough to leave the hospital. She insisted she wanted to go home. Sam was frantic. How could he care for her by himself? What would happen if she fell again? The only way to get her up would be to call 911.
The doctor agreed and suggested a nursing home with rehab facilities where they would work with her to improve her strength. Despite Sarah’s objections the necessary arrangements were made. Sam was allowed to transport her in his car rather than in an ambulance. Money was a consideration.
The trip was a disaster. Sarah kept insisting he take her home and Sam kept listing the reasons that was impossible. She was nearly hysterical with anger by the time they reached the nursing home.
She was a difficult patient from the beginning, demanding and argumentative despite all the efforts to please her. In the days that followed, she was the problem patient, the one who complained constantly and required lots of unnecessary attention. The staff couldn’t hide their displeasure.
Only one nurse was able to establish a connection with her, a sweet little girl named Julie who, somehow, found ways to calm her.
On the third night Sam was awakened from a sound sleep by a phone call. It was the head nurse who informed him that Sarah had created a disturbance during the night by calling 911 and telling them she was being held at the nursing home against her will. It was total nonsense of course so the police didn’t believe her but the nurse said they couldn’t continue caring for her under these conditions and asked where Sam wanted to send her.
Sam was beside himself. Where could he send her? A hospital with a padded room?
He pleaded for the nurse to reconsider, or, at least wait until he could get to the nursing home and try to calm her.
Sam exceeded the speed limit to get there but when he arrived the situation had changed. Julie, Sarah’s favorite nurse, had come on duty and had been successful in reasoning with her. Sarah was composed and rational so the nursing home staff decided to give her another chance.
Sarah seemed to have a totally different attitude that day. She was cheerful and lucid and agreed to participate in all activities that were offered, including physical therapy. She seemed to have regained some strength and Sam was able to help her to the bathroom by himself without incident.
It was a good day. For the first time, Sam felt hope. There was a chance, a good chance that she would get better, maybe even be able to return home.
He was wrong. If he had only known what the future held he would not have been so optimistic.
The worst was yet to come.
