Jane and Wilson, Chapter One: Moving Day

Hello everyone.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Wilson, but I prefer to go by Will. Over there is my wife, Jane. Running around somewhere is our seven year-old daughter, Janice, and our 13 year-old son, William. Who knows where he is right now?

They are good kids, but William is beginning to show his teenage rebellious side,

Today, we are moving.

We got tired of renting a condominium downtown, so we bought a townhouse.

Ironically, our new home is on Wilson Avenue, near Jane Street, It is just one of those things that happened to just work out like that. Jane and Wilson live at Jane and Wilson. Okay, fine.

It is amazing how you do not realize how much crap you have until you move.

Janice was quite upset at the fact that we were moving, and William in all his rebelliousness didn't give a damn one way or another.

Jane took freaking forever to pack. Every freaking thing had to be freaking individually wrapped before placing in the boxes.

"Damn it Jane, just take the God damn things and put them in the damn box like an adult."

She just gave me one of those God damn dirty looks, and continued to wrap her crap.

I'm sorry, but I did'nt want to take a year to move. I wanted to complete this move in a day if possible.

I just made sure to not let the movers touch the TV, computer and game console. You know, the important stuff.

I will move those myself in the minivan.

The moving company had finally shown up, only an hour late. Not that it matters. Jane was still packing. I had mine and the kid's stuff packed hours ago.

This townhome we were moving to had three bedrooms. Now each of our kids could have their own room. Until William moves out, then his room will become my den.

I loaded the minivan, and decided to take William with me. Janice and Jane will stay behind with the movers, and I would get them later.

I saw William just a little down the street. "William! Let's go!" "Now!"

William pretended to not hear me.

"William! Now!"

He must have heard me that time because I could clearly see him lift is middle finger.

"William, get your ass over here!"

"Okay Jane, we are off."

"I want to make sure everything is perfect and nothing gets broken.", Jane said softly.

"I'm sure everything will be fine, and besides moving companies are insured for damage."

By this time William had finally made his way into the minivan.  

I looked at him with a serious face, "Let's go."

We pulled onto the expressway. It would be faster than the main streets,

"By the way William, did you just flip me off back there? Are you forgetting who I am?"

William thought this would be the best time to play a game on his smartphone instead of talking to his father. Oh, yeah, I forgot. He's a teenager.

We were making good time, but just as were were about near the exit for Jane Street, I noticed a huge traffic jam. I mean, traffic was stopped dead, and I had already passed the last exit.

"Sssshhhhhhit! Really with this?"

"Damn it, damn it, damn it, I don't have all freaking day with this crap."

I began to slow down like the safe driver I am. I do not wait until the last minute to stop.

I glanced in the rear-view and noticed a Toyota coming up pretty fast. It did not look like it was going to stop in time.

It didn't.

Boom!

The crash knocked William's phone right out of his hands.

The crappy little Toyota's front was smashed right in. However, my trusty North American -made minivan sustained very little damage. The same can not be said for the contents of the minivan, but more on that later.

By the time our accident had been cleared, the movers were already at our new place.

Janice and Jane ended up taking a taxi.

That's $56 on top of this already costly move. I was soon beginning to think that moving may not have been such a good idea. This day had been shit after shit, and when I thought there was more than enough shit, there was more shit.

I opened the back of the minivan only to discover that a box had fallen, and my 50-inch Panasonic had sustained a crack down the middle of the screen.

Jane saw this and said in a smug voice, "Good thing the moving company was insured'.

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