Slate

Cherry

By Philip Sidney

Sat, 18 Apr 2015
  • 1701 reads
14 comments
 

The mountain's past is written on slate,

grey from a distance, soft mauve in the light,

mixed in its making, mineral and plant,

subtle colours captured from another time.

Tramp the hidden way to stumble upon 

tumbled down walls, fallen chimneys,

smoke, a ghostly wisp carried on rain-sweet air,

roofless hearths stained with stygian soot

remember voices that spoke daily, once

lives filled with work, troubles 

and dreams -

elbow on the stone sill

pausing, to take in a changing sky,

pondering the miracle of multifarious grey.

Now -

human traces and the bones of the land

coalesce,

rock on rock,

slate, pressed by time and weight

holds the memory

of ash.

Certificate U
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

Beautiful - has that ghosts of past feel. Admired the way the description walks the reader through. Love this one, Philip.

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Bee, I gave this a major reworking and think it was worth it.

Submitted by jeand on

Hi

Lovely description with all the shades and hues and the feel of the bits of mountain.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Jean, it took a while to knock it into shape. :)

Submitted by Ed Crane on

Hi Philip, at last a story about fifty shades of Grey actually worth reading!laugh

Lovely poem, well honed and polished.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Haha,  I hadn't thought about that!  Thank you. laugh

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Much improved, Philip. Well done.
I alluded to shades of grey - subtly, I thought - on your original version.

Best, Luigi

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Luigi, glad you think it's better, I should have known 'that' book would have been thought of when I chose grey!  laugh 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

This is lovely, Philip. A past, falling back into its landscape. Saw similar thangs as I rode through Cornwall last weekend. Could be ruined crofts, also.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Parson Thru.  There something compelling about derelict buildings.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Different, but similar. I like the way you link the rock with ruins, merging together in that landscape, and with the memories of the workers and their homes. As many shades of grey as of green! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks for reading the new one Rhiannon, so many shades, I'm thinking about green...:)

Submitted by paul_a on

This is brilliant! I too was reminded of landscapes like Cornwall. 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Paul, those tumble down places have hidden stories don't they?