Tents and Carrots

“I think we’ll pitch the tent here,” Joseph said, and the donkey stopped dead and Mary wobbled from side to side.

She rubbed her swollen belly and peered into the fast approaching gloom.

“But it’s so open there’s no cover. What if I need to go…somewhere quick?”

“You’ll just have to do it, there’s no one about. What’s the matter with you?”

“I am expecting a child you know…”

“Don’t mention that again,” Joseph said, his voice becoming deeper and louder. “I still haven’t got to the bottom of where it came from yet. Help me with this tent.”

Mary slid off the donkey’s back and planting her legs wide apart put both hands on the small of her back and stretched backwards.

“Ouch that’s stiff,” she said, feeling the ache rush to all parts of her body. Joseph pushed a bag of tent pegs at her; she caught it just as a few escaped through the loose top. She stooped to pick them up.

“I keep telling you,” she said, remembering he was moaning again. “It’s a miracle.”

Joseph took a carrot from his pocket and shoved it at the donkey’s mouth.

“It’s a bloody miracle all right. We haven’t…you know…done it yet.”

“That’s only cause I don’t know if you’re…all right…OK…you know you haven’t got anything. My mother told me you’d been putting it about before we met.”

“Your mother needs this bloody carrot shoved…”

“Joseph!!”

He pushed at the donkey’s head because it wouldn’t open its mouth to accept the carrot. He tried giving it again and the donkey tossed its head away from him.

“What with you, your mother and this bloody donkey I need a few miracles myself. Who was it you said it was…Gabeel…Gabrol…?”

“Gabriel.”

“That’s him. How did you know him? I don’t know a Gabreel. When and where too, I’m with you all the time. So how could it happen?”

Mary began laying the tent pegs out in the correct order and sighed.

“I’ve told you before It was when you went to the pet shop to get donkey some food. The Arc angel came and gave me the baby. It’s going to be a special baby he said.”

Joseph had given up trying the donkey with the carrot and began nibbling at it himself. He bit it hard at the thought of Mary’s mother giving her worldly-wise advice to Mary and successfully blocking his marital rights. He sneered.

“The Arc bloody angel…grab that end of the tent…and pull it out will you. We need to get a move on I think it’s going to rain, I don’t want to get wet.” He fumbled with a tent pole tried to get it into the right place. He was still mumbling about the arc bloody angel when the first clap of thunder made him jump and he fell over cracking the tent pole in two. The carrot flew up into the air and the donkey caught it beautifully as it came down, it was swallowed in a second.

Joseph was spread-eagled on the ground on his back and a part of the broken pole had gone up his cloak and was poised to do him damage. Mary put the back of her hand over her mouth and stifled a giggle.

“Are you all right,” she said. “Shall I move this pole?” And went to get the piece of wood sticking out of Joseph’s clothes.

“Don’t you dare, I’ll sort it.” He winced as he removed it. Standing up he kept his legs bowed just in case the wood had left a splinter or something behind. “Turn away,” he motioned to Mary. “I need to have a feel and make sure everything‘s OK. Just in case that sometime the arc bloody angel’s not available.”

“Oh Joseph you do try make a mountain out of a molehill…” and she giggled again, this time it was a knowledgeable chuckle. “One thing’s for sure we can’t stay in our tent tonight.”

Joseph’s examination of his body had revealed that there wasn’t any lasting damage. He was so relieved he’d forgotten about the arc angel.

“Yes,” he said. “We’d better pack this stuff away and see if we can find somewhere. I don’t hold out much hope though.”

It was beginning to get really cold and the moon was high in the star speckled sky. They’d been on the move for a very long time when Joseph saw the pub’s dark shape appear from the gloom.

“There you are,” he said. “We can get a nice warm room for the night.”

“Mary smiled. “Oh Joseph, sometimes, arc angel or no arc angel, you get it right.”