Gladiator

I tried something different when writing this.This is more poetry than rap.The layout was my cousins idea

Hi, I really like the layout and the images in your writing are really great. I think a great name would be something like; Staring love In the face. Or something about identity... hmm, thanks for posting such a beautiful poem. (:

Beeme x

great work

hello Pinda I think is brilliant was it from a true experience or happening, details so realistic well done. Maybe Id call it "BEHIND THE MASK. AS WE NEVER KNOW DO WE. c

I think this is a beautiful piece, it moved me and I love the way it's laid out. i think I would be obvious and call it 'Release Me'. Nice work.
Sarah x

Pinda,
this really is different for you and there are many really good aspects to it. In particular, I like the way it looks on the screen. Concrete poems are really interesting. Equally, it is a narrative poem to an extent, another interesting departure for you.

Whilst it isn't perfect, I think it really is a praiseworthy effort.

No apostrophe in echo's: breath is the noun, you have the verb.

The only title I can think of is the obvious one: Gladiator.

Stick at the poetry too, although your preference is for rap; I'm sure practice at each will help the other.

Regards
Ewan

Thank you Cavalcaderl

Thanks Sarah, once again for your truly inspirational words and encouragment

Thank you Beeme, much appreciated

Thank you Ewan for the kind words. Yes, I will stick with both rap and poetry as I think they link well. The only problem I have with poetry is when I lost at others work on here, they use really complex ideas and vocabulary(and punctuation-which I'm rubbish at).

How do i go about improving my vocab used in poems?
Also I always get block when trying to write poems,How do I get out of that writers block?

Thank you anyway

Hi Pinda.

I would call it LONG ;-) but I only have a 16 line attention span - however - having said that it kept me all the way to the end ;-)

I would have gone for the same title as Sarah but as that one is gone how about ....

"The pent up

desires of
an iron

skinned

man"

;-) only joking ....

I would call it simply "Pain"

Congratulations mate ;-)

Thanks Jupiter,how's the brainbuzz collection going? :) Still adding more on to it or retiring it?

Hi Pinda.

I didn't originally come here to improve my writing skills however I am learning a lot and I can see the value in it and in the people and their help on this site.
I see a future for me at some later point as a web based poet amongst many other things. I don't feel the need to be published or to write publishable(?) stuff ;), when my time comes, if it does in this life, it will come.

I don't feel the need to progress as fast as you seem to want to maybe because I am perhaps looking for a less wide writing skillset aimed at a far more niche market.

I am enjoying writing a lot of the stuff I am doing here but I do not seek to be a poet as such, instead I feel driven to write catalystic compositions for those who are ready and looking for them. My truest poems are meant to have meaning beyond their words if you know what I mean. They will not be written for the sake of writing poetry only.

Sorry if I've gone on mate and got a bit serious on you ;) - but you did ask ;-D lol.

Hope you are having a great night and congratulations on the success of this piece once again.

"Sorry if I've gone on mate and got a bit serious on you ;) - but you did ask ;-"-No worries mate,was intresting to hear about your plans.

2I see a future for me at some later point as a web based poet amongst many other things. I don't feel the need to be published or to write publishable(?) stuff ;), when my time comes, if it does in this life, it will come."-Good for you mate,have high aspirations for the future and try hard.Whatever the outcome, just remind yourself you tried your best.

I'm sure you'll do well in the future,even if you don't go into publishing.The skills you have and pure talent will shine and open many doors for a prosperous future.

Good talking,have a good night mate,

P.s. sometimes I miss your work,when you comment on mine if there is a piece of yours you think I might enjoy just let me know

I think this style may suit you well. Well done. Sound advice from Ewan. As to the question of a title - whether or not a serious question I will attempt to answer. Painters, and I'm amongst them, have long got away with 'untitled'; 'untitled in black' and so on. Why do we not see that so much with poetry I wonder, except of course with Sonnets. A title can serve as a means to include a phrase or word which didn't sit so comfortably in the poem itself, but which helps the reader understand the intention. Or why not pick out a word or phrase from the poem, or other words which mean the same, to highlight particular elements. Margot

Thanks Sunshine,glad you enjoyed and the idea about the title seems pretty cool.I might just do that.

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

:)

Well, I don't care what anyone says, I think this is the best of your work that I have read. Bloody brilliant, I was glued to it till the end; super stuff mate.

Chris ;)

Thanks Chris,glad you enjoyed.

new Pinda ***
well I wanted put on the wonderful from "Song of Songs" from end july, but didn't here from anyone.
Not sure! if could as it*** Church one not mine
from the beautiful wedding.July.25th away.
Now read your lovely one similar title this is
" Arise My Love" for The bride and groom.
I decided take chance.But not my work
Didn't want you to think I copied yours.
hope your well
jule x (:-.

Beautiful