What is the man doing?
Touching her like that.
Knife in his bleeding hands.
She just resists and stands.
Her ground, yelling.
Pinda go to your room.
I'll say goodnight.
Tuck you in, soon.
I peep through the hole.
The light reflects my eyes.
Bitch, what did I tell you about lies?
Where's my money?
I'm going to stab you heart.
Make you scream.
I run out and shout.
Momma, where have you been?
The man decks me.
Knocks me out clean.
He takes her to the bedroom.
Locks the door behind.
Still on the floor.
I can hear but I'm blind.
To what's happening.
What's happening?
Ma,Ma.
Ma,Ma.
Ma, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments
Lennie | July 17, 2009 - 17:08
Hey Pinda, Good Work on this piece, very emotional poem. Another great job mate!
Lennie
pinda | July 17, 2009 - 17:16
Thanks Lennie,nice to hear what you think.
Beeme | July 18, 2009 - 09:10
This is so emotive Pinda, almost made me cry lol.
Really great job.
russiandoll | July 18, 2009 - 10:45
I like this but think a little more description at the end might fit better after the first two lines of
Ma, ma.
Ma, ma...
Perhaps a last thought or image from Ma's perspective?
Just an idea. Other than that I think this is very strong.