Danny continued to be a bit of a problem. He would turn up at the tree on an increasingly regular basis often with cans in his hand and sometimes with his dog, which if left too long would start to bark with frustration. Isabella felt her sanctuary was being invaded, but there were times when the conversation would turn to Raven and that would make her feel close to him again. She began to feel that Danny needed an ‘angel’ experience too for he seemed to be badly affected by their conversations about Raven and would become maudlin.
In the end she decided to seek help from the big house and waited for a day when she knew that Danny was busy elsewhere. She was instantly transported to the iron gates and they were open. Icarayus was working in the garden collecting fruit and she picked up a basket to help him. He seemed pleased to see her and when they were finished he held open a section of the blue mist and invited her in. This was the first time this had happened and she was thrilled, it felt like complete acceptance and trust.
He walked before her into Simi’s kitchen and there seated at the table, deep in conversation with Simmi, was Raven. He stood the moment she walked through the door and threw his arms around her in a cotton wool embrace. She melted into him and then sat down as close to him as she could. Simmi provided his cardamom tea and excused himself. Icarayus, she realised, had already left and so they were alone.
“I cannot believe it, after all this time.”
“I know Sis, I know. Time is different for me now, so I don’t really know how long I have been away, but I tell you Sis this side of the blue mist is fascinating because you get to look not only at yout last life, which was of course rather short, but at all your other past lives too and that has been so interesting. Not always easy of course.”
“What’s is the Library of Lives like?”
“Imagine a huge cinema that plays movies day and night. You are connected to the mind projector, so if you get sad they slow the film down, or turn it off, until you can face it again. If there are hard lessons to learn they will turn the film off and someone like Jonathan will come and talk with you about what you are finding so difficult to accept. Everything is there though Sis, everything, not only what was done, but what was thought and what you did, or did not do. Luckily in my life I didn’t have too much time to make too many mistakes, because apparently if you do, you have to go back to earth again until you get it right.”
“Would you come back as Raven?”
“No, Raven will not come back, but another poor soul would have to pick up that particular lesson and bring it back to life. Like a rucksack full of provisions for your journey through life, but they are not so much provisions as challenges to be overcome.”
“Do I have them?”
“Everyone does Sis, but some more than others.”
“How do I know what they are?”
“By trial and error I think, part of every challenge is working out what the challenge is in the first place. People in the big house can help, but they cannot take away the lesson and so I suppose, now you have found your way here I can help you in any way that I am allowed to.”
“Allowed by whom?”
“I am not sure Sis, they talk about the Absolute, and that sounds a little like God to me, so the best way I can describe the feeling that I get is that it is a bit like being back in the hall. You cannot go left, or right sometimes, right?”
“Yes, once I was allowed to enter the kitchen, then I am not, then I am only able to go downstairs to the cathedral. Have you seen the cathedral isn’t it amazing?”
“Yes, it is. That is what I mean, there is an invisible force that seems to keep you in place. It is not an unpleasant place, there is always enough for your needs, Simmi with his tea, Jonathan with his advice and his radiant peace, Rachel with her healing herbs and quiet ways.”
“Who’s Rachel?”
“I’ll introduce you in a moment. But getting back to this Absolute figure, I feel it like an energy that is always around me, guiding me, feeding me, loving me.”
“Feeding? You don’t have a body.”
“This is the food of sensation, Sis, understanding, knowledge, possibility. I wouldn’t know what to do with a plate of food, but give me a blue circle and I can lose myself in it for what must be ages. Each molecule resonates with meaning now, the deep blue brings peace to the mind and takes me into the cosmos and I love to chill out there. I think of nothing and just float.
The bright blue stimulates my thoughts and when I am questioning why things are the way they are, I find that if I connect to blue it is like surfing the net because everything is connected. I’ll give you an example; a thought about the Carnelian in the kitchen took me to the mine in Brazil. Here I was able to see not only the hard labour of the miner and his crew, but also the impact on the earth as her resources were plundered. What was amazing about that experience was realising for the first time that each piece of Carnelian, however small and however far it travelled, remained connected to that mine and to the core crystal from which it was extracted.
So you see, Sis, knowledge and understanding for me now is as satisfying to my spirit as mum’s apple crumble with ice cream used to be. Come and meet Rachel.” Said Raven stroking her hand and heading out the door.
They came to the hallway and Isabella wondered if they would be allowed to go upstairs together, but there was no need for Rachel’s room was down the hallway and her door was wide open. Isabella could hear a young woman laughing as she nursed a man’s back that had red weals across it as if he had been flogged. He was oohing and aahing as she administered water in which herbs were floating and as the water ran down his back he squealed and writhed around. Rachel laughed and kept stroking his back and splashing more water on it.
Isabella thought that she was really callous, but on closer inspection she could see that his wounds were well healed and whatever pain they had inflicted was long gone. As soon as she and Raven entered the room the man got up to leave, but not before he had kissed the woman very tenderly on the cheek and promised to return soon.
There was something about this man that captivated Isabella. He had a presence about him that was very powerful and yet his interactions with the young woman were exquisitely gentle and joyful. It touched her heart to catch a glimpse of their relationship. When he was present the room was filled with gold, when he left the gold lingered like the smoke from a candle flame lingers before spiralling up and out. There was something familiar about him, but at the same time something awe inspiring about him too and she watched him go with a faint tinge of sadness.
Raven interrupted her musings with an introduction to Rachel and Isabella felt the distinct pull of longing as she left the memory of the man. But she freed herself of his memory and turned to Rachel with a smile.
With the departure of the man Rachel’s sparkle and confidence
seemed to have dimmed and she looked a little uneasily at Isabella. There was a short pause where Rachel looked at Raven, back at Isabella and then back again.
“You look so alike,” she said smiling, “I bet that was difficult when you were babies. Welcome Isabella, do take a seat.” She indicated a couple of benches in a courtyard, where Raven was already heading. “Would you like some sherbet?”
Isabella followed Raven with a glass of sherbet that smelled of lemon but tasted like wine, and sat down opposite him. Rachel followed with a glass for her and Raven and sat down smiling at Isabella.
Rachel’s room was green, the softest green you have ever seen, it was like lying in a meadow. Just to be in the room was cooling and calming and healing. Isabella recognised the walls as being carved from Aventurine and noticed that she too had a large desk on which was open an illustrated manuscript, with green and gold sparkling in the candlelight.
Rachel’s room was different in that it opened up into the small courtyard in which grew herbs and plants. The garden was laid out like a star around a crystal pyramid that seemed to collect and redistribute the sun in a steady stream across the garden. At each of the points there were carved benches made from gold Calcite for people to sit on and in one corner was a waterfall made of green Calcite and a pool in which birds were drinking and bathing. It was an idyllic setting. Isabella noticed that when Rachel walked she walked with a limp and in one corner of her room was a tiny window that was covered with bars, very incongruous in a place of such beauty and peace, it had the same effect as a photograph and Isabella wondered if that was its purpose, rather more memory than the bringer of light.
She sat on one bench and Rachel and Raven were sitting on the facing one together. Isabella who suddenly felt rather alone noticed that act of closeness, but she averted her eyes as she sipped her sherbet, another difference as Rachel and Raven sniffed theirs, or so it seemed to her.
“You have something to ask me?” said Rachel looking directly at Isabella.
Isabella spluttered a little not sure what Rachel knew, or didn’t know. Isabella was getting quite used to these apparent strangers knowing all her personal business and she found it a little disconcerting, but thought it rude to show her feelings. She looked over to Raven for his support but he just smiled and indicated that she should go ahead.
“I came to ask for support in helping Danny,” she said, “you remember Danny don’t you Raven?”
“Yes, of course I do, he was there when I passed over.”
“Passed over what?” asked Isabella with an unintended edge to her voice. “You mean died?"
“Do I sound dead to you?”
“Not when I am here, no, but you sure do at home, or at school, or everywhere else we used to go together.”
“I passed over the river Styx Isabella. You may think that is just a fantasy but I can tell you it was very real, and do you know who the boatman was? It was grandpa and he has never looked better. It was like passing through a veil and when you told me to go away on the day of my funeral that is what I did, I went away and lowered the veil between us. But I can lift it again, as can you, but only if we believe that it is possible. So tell me about Danny.”
“He’s missing you and he’s not doing well. He’s drinking and following me to our tree house. He is angry, or sad, most of the time and talks about visiting the big house and until I spoke with Jonathan I assumed he knew about this place, but now I suspect he means somewhere else. I want to help but I also want him to leave me alone.”
Rachel had listened to all this very carefully and in a soft voice she said, “Although Danny has his own big house he cannot meet Raven in it, so it is bringing him no comfort at the moment. We do have healing sanctuaries here where we can go and people from the other side can visit and receive what we can offer. Some know this because of previous lives, some like Danny suspect that this is true but do not know how to find the key, and some will never believe it, or accept it, and so will never experience its magic.”
“What’s the key?” asked Isabella.
“Belief,” answered Rachel and Raven in unison and then laughed together.
“So if he believes it is possible to see Raven and to receive healing it will happen, it is as simple as that?”
“Belief is never simple, it is usually experienced as a demand, or an attachment and when you are in pain, as Danny is, it is very difficult to access pure belief. He would have to give up drinking for one thing and that he feels that is the only thing bringing him any comfort at the moment.”
Raven nodded in agreement with Rachel and then added, “I have watched him when he is with you Sis and he cannot understand why his pain is greater than yours. He feels that means he is weak, weaker than a girl and weaker than my sister who should be in so much more pain and that is hard for him to take. He would like to see you in pieces and be the strong comforter, but you are keeping it together, at least in his company, so he feels pretty useless.”
“How can I help then, cry on his shoulder?”
“No Sis that is not what I am saying, you need to keep doing what you are doing because if, or when, he’s stronger he will follow your lead. Trust that I will visit him in his dreams and try to show him the path out of his current miseries. So, when you meet ask him about his dreams, ask him about his big house without letting on what goes on in yours. His is very different because his soul family is much smaller than yours, but if he was to persevere he would find that he and I could meet not only in the healing sanctuaries, but in the halls of learning too.”
“What about me can I meet you there?”
“You already are Sis, although to be fair it has been Rachel that has been carrying most of the load of late, that is why you are able to visit the house so often and feel so at home here. Most of the work that Rachel has done has been to remove fear. Fear, remorse and shame are the three things which could prevent our communication.”
Rachel was looking at the ground at this point and Isabella fancied that she was looking embarrassed. Isabella noticed that Rachel had a withered leg and she felt her sympathy go out to her.
“Thank you Rachel, it seems you have done a good job on me. I am very grateful.”
Rachel smiled and looked at the floor and then at Raven. “You are an easy subject Isabella. I felt the pain of your loss, but soon realised that you have great strength and will overcome this. In fact it might be the making of you, for it has opened your mind more than most.”
“Sis, you need to go now,” said Raven, “it is not good to stay too long on the other side of the veil, it can make returning to real life much harder, and return to real life you must for your work is on that side and mine is here. We are still be side by side, we are just a vibration apart.”
Isabella wanted to argue, but thought better of it. All of this was such a new experience that she had nothing to judge it by and so she got up quietly and prevented herself from asking, “When will I see you again?”
Raven escorted her back to the hallway and the blue mist seemed to envelope her from there and deposit her outside the iron gates which she shut behind her, as Raven had told her to do. As she removed her hand from the latch it caught on a figure that was a young man with his arm around the shoulders of a young woman, she has Lapis eyes and he had a Raven on his shoulder. Isabella caught her breath and headed for home looking out for any signs of Danny, because, for now, she just wanted to be alone.
