One day her mother asked Isabella to go and take some shopping to her Aunt May. When she asked why her mother explained that Aunt May was really sick and could not get out and shop for herself. Isabella was shocked to hear this news and gladly agreed to go.
When she arrived she found Aunt May sitting wrapped in a blanket, in the middle of summer, looking pale and old. She had aged a lot in recent months but as Isabella had not seen her it was a shock to see her looking so frail. Isabella loved to cook and she set to making the best meal she could from the shopping she had brought. When she opened the fridge to find no food there at all she started to worry that Aunt May was not coping alone.
Eventually they sat down to a meal of fish, rice and vegetables and Isabella, by request, made a pot of cardamom tea. Aunt May ate a very small amount hungrily and then stopped, but even that little bit of food put some colour in her cheeks and she thanked Isabella over and over again for the meal. Isabella was so pleased to see such an improvement that she quickly made an excuse and headed off for the local shop. There she bought a large tub of chocolate ice cream, Aunt May's favourite, and on her return Aunt May needed very little persuasion to take two spoons out into the garden and polish off the whole thing in one sitting. Ice cream, it seems, is a great healer.
Isabella had no idea how their conversation turned to Raven and life after death but somehow it did and Aunt May listened very quietly indeed to her stories about the big house. At first Isabella was reluctant and nervous about revealing too much for fear of a negative reaction, but the more she spoke of the characters, the images, the smells and her feelings the more Aunt May encouraged her to continue and she asked some very interesting questions:
“Are all the rooms carved from crystal?”
“When you are there can you see your own colours?”
“Do you feel you already know the people that live there?”
“When you hear the chanting do you feel at peace?”
“Did you see the colours of the words when Jonathan was reading from the book?”
“Have you ever wondered if there is a book with your life story in it?”
To all of these questions Isabella answered, 'yes' and in doing so she realised, perhaps for the first time, the depth of her experiences. But, even more than that she felt Aunt May was right there with her in the big house and that was surprising to her. She felt there was nothing she couldn’t say to Aunt May and that Aunt May had gained some comfort from their conversation.
When she spoke about Raven Aunt May did not seem at all surprised that Isabella was able to contact Raven and that she felt he was still alive, just somewhere else.
“Is it really so strange that the energy of a person doesn’t just vanish?” Aunt May asked her, “What is there in life that starts out of nothing at all? Each baby starts from an egg that has the potential of life within it maybe for years before it is called upon, if it is to be called upon at all.”
“There was a time when there were no human beings on the Earth, so they must have started from something.”
“The elements of life have always been present within the universe, and that is all we are, a collection of elements, silicon and carbon mainly. Our bodies are one particular collection of atoms, stars and planets are another, but the building blocks of life are the same. They existed from the time of the big bang, maybe even before that who really knows, and they continue to exist. We come from dust and we return to dust having been animated by spirit, or energy if you prefer, in between.”
Isabella had never really thought about herself in that way, a mass of atoms, and it was a little disconcerting. But it was also true.
“Are you afraid of dying?”
Aunt May paused before answering. “No, I am not afraid at all of being dead,” she said, “but the dying bit is scary because I don’t know how I will die, or when. I do not fancy months, or even years, of being in pain and needing to rely on other people. You only die once so there’s no chance to practise a dignified and serene death. But I do believe when it’s your time, it’s your time and that’s a comfort.”
“Why is that a comfort?” asked Isabella.
“Because I accepted a long time ago that death was part of life and I believe your soul lives on after death and starts another layer of exploration. So I trust my soul to choose the right time to pass to this next layer. That’s how I see it, rightly or wrongly. I anticipate that when my soul is through with this life that it will chose its time to move to another dimension. I have learnt enough about life to know that there is more to life than is obvious, or prove-able.”
“So do you think Raven’s soul chose his time of death?”
“Yes, I do.”
“But that can’t be right, he was so young.”
“Being young in years does not mean that his soul was young, or that it needed more time on the earth to do what he came to do.”
“What did he come to do?”
“I don’t know that, only Raven and his soul knows that. But I suspect he will know by now if he did what he came to do.”
“How will he know?”
“From reading his Akashic record.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s the record of your life in holographic form. All your important thoughts and actions are recorded there and when you die you get to review everything that you did and to understand, for the first time, what you promised to do for your soul.”
“What do you mean promise your soul? How can you promise a soul, it’s a concept not a real thing?”
“I don’t know exactly, but I do know, or believe, that each life lived has a purpose of some kind and that after death your soul holds you to account by about how well you did when you were on the earth.”
"Isn't that the job of God?"
"I guess that depends on your faith, I don't happen to believe that an external force holds you to account, I believe it is your soul that does that. Then again I believe that your soul contains the essence of the Absolute, who you may call God, and that essence constantly seeks to align your soul with your personality so that you always abide by universal law, which is the law of love. So you could argue that being held to account by your soul is the same as being held to account by God. The hard part is that there is no external force of forgiveness either, that has to come from the soul too and the soul can be a hard task master."
“What’s the point of having a purpose that you do not know about until after your life is over?”
“Can you imagine knowing your purpose from the moment you were born? It would be far worse. Imagine being told at five years old that you were to become a priest, or a nurse, or a mother. You would spend your whole life trying to fulfil this goal, or worse resenting it and avoiding it at all costs, preferring to be the architect of your own life. Imagine knowing in advance that Raven would not be alive throughout your whole life? It would have been a terrible burden and Raven might have spent every day scared that it was his last.”
“And he might not have gone out on the ice and he might still be alive today.”
“Indeed, but if his soul decided his life was to be short then if the ice didn’t get him something else would have done and as deaths go ...”
Isabella felt herself getting rather angry at this turn in the conversation and decided it was time to leave before she said something to upset Aunt May. She took her leave rather abruptly and as she walked back home she remembered all the books in the corners of the room of the big house and decided they must be the Akashic record. She found herself wondering about her own record, what would it say? How was she doing? It was a strange feeling to be measured against a scale she did not even know, until now, existed. How did Raven do? She decided to ask him next time she saw him, but also decided not to mention the conversation with Aunt May to her parents.
Isabella increased the frequency of her visits to Aunt May, partly because Aunt May needed the help and partly because Aunt May became her confidant about the big house. It was not until she had someone she could talk to about these things, without fear of judgement, that she realised how lonely her visits to the big house had been and how alone she had felt since Raven’s death. Knowing he was still around in one sense was a comfort, but it was not the same as when he was her living, breathing twin.
One day after many months of visits Isabella arrived in a very upset state. She started to cook a meal but Aunt May knew that something was not right and so she followed Isabella into the kitchen and kept pressing her to talk. Isabella was very reluctant because opening up to another person was what had started the problem, but eventually, between sobs she opened up.
A while after Raven’s death Isabella had changed schools because the memories of Raven were everywhere and although that was comforting at times, it could also be upsetting in unguarded moments. She felt that the attitudes of her friends and teachers changed towards her, now they pitied her and monitored her for signs of distress like a laboratory rat. They did not see her as someone to have fun with, or go out with. Friends whom she was close to before would now avoid her gaze and make excuses when she invited them over. She felt isolated and rejected and decided to have a fresh start somewhere where she was not half of a twin, but all of a person. So after her exams she moved to a sixth form college for girls.
At first this was a relief people treated her like a normal teenager and a whole person and she felt complete for the first time in a long while. However, one day she confided in a new friend about Raven and even mentioned her sightings of him. As soon as the words had left her mouth she regretted saying anything for the look on the other girl’s face was incredulous. From that moment forth she was given a very wide berth and her small circle of new friends became even smaller overnight. The whispering and the stilted conversations began again just like in her old school and she became isolated and withdrawn. She felt humiliated and rejected and her work was suffering. As a result she had withdrawn further inside herself so that even the big house was unreachable through her pain.
But this was not really the cause of her distress today because that had been going on for months. The cause of her distress today was a recurring dream that she was having of being trapped in a party full of people wearing carnival masks, with huge fixed grins overshadowed by large beaks protruding from them with which they pecked at her eyes and face while at the same time grinning down at her. She had woken up that morning drenched in sweat from running away from them through a dark forest with people pecking at her back. Even after she had opened her eyes she felt as if lumps of her flesh were missing.
She had said nothing to Aunt May before but on this particular visit it was impossible to hold it back any longer and all her fears came tumbling out. Aunt May listened attentively as always and then offered a crystal healing. This was not something Isabella had ever been offered before and although she knew Aunt May loved crystals she did not know they could be used to heal. At first she said nothing because she was uncertain how she felt and she did not want to offend Aunt May, so she created a distraction by making some more tea.
Alone in the kitchen she wondered what harm it could do. It might after all be a way of Aunt May giving something back after all her care and attention over the last few months. So when she went back in with the tea she said, “Thank you that would be lovely.”
Aunt May disappeared downstairs into a room that Isabella had never been invited into before. She closed the door behind her and said she would not be long. When she reappeared she motioned for Isabella to follow her down and this she did. As she followed Aunt May down the steps the first thing she noticed was the beautiful smell that came up to meet her, a smell that reminded her of a summer meadow.
At the bottom of the stairs was a long thin room that looked out on the garden. There was light everywhere, underneath the crystals, above them and glowing through them. There were boxes of coloured crystals lit by fairy lights and rows of crystals standing on light boxes. In the middle of the room was a large, comfortable bed with a pink and gold blanket folded across it. At first Isabella tensed slightly, but then as the energy and the fragrance filled her body she felt herself relax for the first time in months and longed to rest her head on the bed in the centre, which she did without delay.
Isabella closed her eyes and sunk back into the soft bed while Aunt May moved silently around her placing crystals to her left and her right with great gentleness. After just a few moments the feeling of warmth and peace was overwhelming and she slept, not the disturbed sleep of the past few months, but a peaceful sleep that seemed to lift her off the bed and into her imagination. Waiting there for her was the beautiful blue and green creature that she had seen at the cathedral. That ethereal being that had captured her attention once before seemed to be here right in this room and all her attention seemed to be fixed on Isabella. She had in her hands balls of coloured ribbon that she wove into a blanket and placed around Isabella. Every colour imaginable was there and the pattern was very intricate, precise and strangely familiar. Isabella was too relaxed to worry about identifying the pattern she just let the colours seep into her being and forgot about everything else.
When Aunt May touched her feet to indicate that the healing was over she immediately felt herself return from what seemed like a far distant place, the image of the woman remained with her and she felt as if she was glistening with light as she sat down and took the water that Aunt May was offering.
“So did you feel or see anything?” asked Aunt May after she had picked up the crystals and put them into running water.
“I’m not sure if I saw anything but I imagined a woman in blue and green. I have seen her before at the big house.”
“Your guide is green and blue and she is very beautiful, more sprite than woman I would say.”
“You saw her?”
“Yes, I think so, but sometimes I see something different from what others see, so it’s important you stay with your own memories and that I don’t influence you with my own images. It is good that you experienced something, some people experience nothing at all.”
“What’s a guide?”
“A guide is someone from within your soul who comes and watches over you, they are chosen, or volunteer, to come close to help you through a particular transition in life. Did you feel anything else?”
“I felt tingling in my palms.”
“OK that’s interesting. I have a present for you.”
Aunt May handed Isabella a silk bag full of crystals and suggested that they went and had tea in the garden before Isabella had to leave.
While Isabella was waiting she opened the bag and looked at the crystals. There were seven in all and each one was a different colour, rather like the rooms at the big house. There was green, red, purple, gold, pink, clear and blue and each crystal was the same size, perfectly round and smooth to touch. As she picked each one up she noticed that her response to each one was different. The blue was cool to the touch, but the red was warm. The pink felt soft and fluid, like the purple and the green, but the gold felt sharper more of an arrow than a sponge. The clear was the best of all it seemed to incorporate all the qualities and to give her a boost of energy whenever she picked that one up. If she had been asked to chose just one crystal, it would have been the clear.
Aunt May joined her and asked her if she liked the crystals.
“Very much, thank you.”
“Do you remember all the names?”
“I think so. Is the blue one Blue Lace Agate?”
“Yes.”
“The pink is Rose quartz and the green Aventurine?”
“Yes, you have a good memory.”
“Is the red Jasper?”
“Not this red, this is Carnelian.”
“The gold is Citrine I think and the purple Amethyst?”
“Well done, Citrine is hot Amethyst. Heat up Amethyst and you get Citrine, half heat it up and you get Amatrine, which is a mixture of them both. Now the important thing is that you keep them clean. I cleaned them in the full moon last night, or at least all of them except the clear quartz and citrine for they need cleaning in the new moon.”
“Every new moon?” asked Isabella rather horrified at the responsibility.
“If you remember, yes. All you have to do is place them in salt water for 24 hours on a window ledge somewhere.”
“I’ll never remember to do that every month, how do you know when it’s a full moon?”
“You look it up once a year and stick the dates in your phone and set an alarm. It’s not that difficult to remember, and its up to you, but if you want the best from your crystals they need to be clean and energised in the moons. But don’t put them outside if there is a danger of frost.”
“What do you mean get the best from them?”
“I mean use them to help you to feel better, more in control of your reactions to the difficulties that life throws up. If you hold one at a time in your left hand and try to allow its energy to fill you, you will discover how it can help you. I have given you one for each of the chakras in the body and so you should find that they affect you differently, but I am going to leave it up to you to experiment.”
“I’ve seen pictures of chakras on the internet, are they real?”
“What did you say about the tingling in your palms. Show me where you felt it?”
Isabella turned her palms over and pointed to the centre of both of them.
“You have just pointed to two of your chakras Isabella and you felt them respond this morning. Now hold one of the crystals in your hand and tell me where you feel a response.”
Isabella already knew the answer but did it anyway and then pointed to her left palm. But as she did so she realised that the rose quartz she had been holding had also left an impression on her heart, but she did not mention that to Aunt May deciding instead to go home and experiment by herself.
“How do you feel now about what is happening at college?”
“I feel much better, thank you, as if it does not matter so much.”
“Will you do me a favour and watch how you are over the next few days?
You have a place inside which is very calm and peaceful but you had shut the door on it so firmly it was difficult to open. This happens when you are feeling attacked all the time, I do know, this has happened to me. I hope the crystals and your beautiful guide prised it open this morning and, if you can keep it like that, when the attacks come you will be able to go there and find some peace. If you want to increase the feeling of peace then try holding your crystals, a couple of them are really good at filling you up with peace, and you can build a store of energy inside you that will be deep enough to transform all the negativity that the world can throw at you.”
“Which two?”
“That my darling niece is for you to find out. Now before you go remind me which crystals go in which moon?”
“Clear in the new and the rest in the full moon.”
“My golden rule is clear in the new and opaque in the full moon.” Said Aunt May rising from her seat and clearing away the cups.
Isabella took that as her cue to leave and so collected up her crystals and kissed Aunt May goodbye.
“Thanks for the crystal healing.” She said, “I’ll let you know how I get on.”
