Aunt May was right, after the healing Isabella was able to find a place within herself that she could return to when things got tough at college, or home. But it was fragile, if she was too bored her problems piled in and stopped her entering her own personal sanctuary and if she was too fraught the same thing happened. So she had to find a happy medium and then she could traverse the world quite smoothly, or glide across her game of hopscotch constantly avoiding the cracks in the pavement.
Her inner sanctuary was the place where, when alone, she could hear Raven’s voice the clearest and he was increasingly on hand these days to give her advice. Even Danny would appear from time to time and sit with her silently in the tree. He seemed to be getting over his deep grief and pain and admitted to her one day that he had found his dreams comforting, as if they were pointing a way forward for him. He had started seeing a counsellor and that had helped him. Apparently he had been suffering from Post Traumatic Shock, which explained why he felt guilty about surviving the icy lake when Raven did not, and knowing this had helped him a lot.
Just as Isabella was beginning to regret her decision about not being girlfriend and boyfriend Danny announced that he was going travelling for a year or so and came to take his leave of her. She could not contain her sadness and surprised Danny, and herself, by her visible reaction to his news.
“I thought this was what you wanted?”
“I did too, but I will miss you.”
“Then come with me.”
"How could I do that? My life is here, I am in the middle of college and how would my parents cope with the loss of their second child?”
“They wouldn’t be losing you they would be lending you to the rest of the world for a bit. Think about it, I am not leaving for a month.”
“Where are you going?”
“India and then perhaps Tibet or China.”
Isabella felt very unsettled by this news and a little excited by the suggestion that she might join him. She thought of little else for days, but Japeth's warning about her becoming a replacement for Raven meant that in the end she decided it would be a bad idea to take up his offer, but that it would be great to see him on his return.
When they next met up she told him this and it was his turn to look crestfallen, so their meeting was quite brief and she regretted that for she did not see him again before his departure.
On the day of his departure she went to the tree just to contemplate her life without both Danny and Raven, but did not climb up as that seemed too reminiscent of happier times, instead she went walking through the forest and towards the river bank. The sun was shining and she felt that spring was in the air, even though it was late summer, ass there was a sense of newness in the air.
When she reached the river she walked along to the willow tree that had bent itself over the water. She loved the sound of the wind in its leaves and settled down underneath its protective branches.
She just let her thoughts drift over the last few years and all the visits she had made to the big house, the colours and the smells that she had come to associate with it and the mysterious Library of Lives. As she was day dreaming a new sound alerted her to the presence of a young man wearing battle fatigues so he was almost fully camouflaged and could have been sitting there unnoticed since her arrival. The rustle that she had heard was the rustle of the paper on which he was writing with great speed. She felt her cheeks redden as she wondered how long he had been there and whether he was safe. Men in army gear always worried her, unless they were in the army of course.
He looked up and smiled and introduced himself so gently that she felt her fear dissipate and transform into delight.
“I am Rupert,” he said, “pleased to meet you.”
“Isabella,” she said holding out her hand to shake his noticing how formal this young man was and yet how delightful.
“Isabella, that’s a lovely name. This is my favourite place, do you come here often?” he said and then laughed rather self consciously at such an obvious pick up line.
“Not really,” she said, “but I do love sitting under this willow tree.”
“Would you like some cold mint tea?”
“Thank you,” she said as he poured from a flask and took a sniff before handing it to her.
“Are you from the big house?” she asked.
“Is it that obvious?”
“It’s the tea and the sniffing that gave it away, so yes it is to me. So I guess you know who I am and all about me?”
“Pretty much, but that’s an advantage as far as I am concerned for it means you don’t always have to start everything right from the beginning, you can pick up with me where you left off with Japeth, and Raven can pick up from me and so on.”
“Do you all have different roles at the big house then?”
“Not so much roles as particular passions and responsibilities. Icarayus cares for the Spectas, Rachel is a healer, Jonathan reaches for the stars, Simmi keeps the heart of the house warm and welcoming and Raven bridges our world and yours for he is our latest arrival.”
“What about the old woman who was in the cathedral the other day, surely she is the newest arrival?”
“No, she has been with us for a long while because her transition was a difficult one. She has been with Icarayus for a very long time, she has been one of his charges. You see she got very sick and it took her a long time to accept that she was again in the same realm as her long lost child. Having been separated for so long and grieved so deeply she could not face meeting her child again for she feared that she had let her daughter down and she had not been able to forgive herself for that.”
“Is nothing secret in your world?”
“No, nothing. Everything is written in the aura, otherwise how would we learn from each other?”
Isabella paused to consider how she might find living in that world, a world where everything was transparent and she shivered at the thought. She decided to change the subject.
“So what is your passion?”
“I’m the house poet and I’ve written one for you, would you like to hear it?
“Yes, please.”
For Isabella
A myriad journeys you have made
since Raven slipped that fateful day
into the labyrinth of dreams
where nothing’s really as it seems.
This gentle Master holds you fast
caresses you and knows your past.
The key he holds to futures bright
is always hidden out of sight.
You know your purpose somewhere lies
within the realms that fill the skies.
The more you seek the less you find
He does not mean to be unkind.
For hidden in the searching deep
is that deep peace of which you speak.
And when you find that peace within
you realise that you’re one with Him.
And always have been from the start
for He’s imprinted on your heart.
That gentle Master strong and true
that wants the best from life for you.
“That’s beautiful” said Isabella wiping a tear from her eye, “but who is this Master of whom you speak?”
“It is my way of trying to describe the indescribable, the energy which created the universe and everything within it, which we call the Solar Logos, like your Solar system.”
“That’s a good description, I think Raven has tried to describe something similar.” Isabella replied, “I like to think of something being behind all this and there being a structure into which the whole universe fits and plays its part. But I have always struggled with Religion, although there seems to be a core of truth within that too.”
“I found the same when I was alive,” replied Rupert, “in the army Religion was very important because so many of my comrades were being killed all the time. I was alive during the first world war and I died in battle, so I saw the value of believing that life had a purpose. Why else would we all be up to our waists in mud fighting for the freedom of our country? And yet can a war really make a country free? Perhaps from one enemy, but not from the enemy of debt and bigotry that follows in its wake. Not from the enemy of protectiveness and division that fosters disunity within the society and not just without.”
“Religions creates as many divisions.”
“Indeed it does appear to, but that is man’s creation, did you not see our cathedral of light, where all light was represented. Although we have no bodies ourselves we still prepare prayer mats, meditation stools and rush matting to signify that all are welcome in the light. No one is prevented from reaching the light because of their faith, but those that have faith are more likely to open to the light than those that do not. But all lives are not meant to open to the light and so we accept that there are those that will turn away when our hands reach down to hand them a candle.”
'Such a gentle man,' thought Isabella, 'who would have the heart to turn him away if he was offering them a candle? Surely no one.'
“Do you ever regret dying so young?” she asked.
“Not for myself, for I have learnt so much more since I passed over, but for my parents yes, they begged me not to go to war and so were heartbroken when their fears were realised. They were proud of me, of course they were, but that did not stop them grieving. My biggest regret was that my help could not reach them. My father turned to anger and that created a barrier between us and indeed between him and my mother. My mother turned to the church which transferred her need for comfort onto a priest, so she became unreachable too and, of course, the priest could not fill the hole left by my departure or her guilt at letting me go.”
“That all sounds really sad. How old were you when you died?”
“I was nineteen and I had spent most of my early years under a willow tree in our garden, just like this one.”
“So do you actually live in the big house too?”
“I do.”
“But you can leave the gardens?”
“We can go anywhere in the universe in a flash. We are but thought so we do not move, but we can project ourselves instantly without bumping into too many barriers.”
“Too many?”
Rupert laughed, “You are full of questions young lady and it would take just too long to describe. But yes, we do have barriers up here, but we also have much greater freedom to pursue our purpose that you have on the earth. Not to mention the added benefit of knowing what that is.”
Isabella breathed in to ask him another question but he headed her off.
“I must go.” He said quickly, stood up, bowed slightly and was gone.
Isabella sat for a long while just absorbing the atmosphere and thinking about what Rupert had said. “This world seems to get stranger and stranger,” she thought, “but really not that much stranger than life itself.”
