Within days of that experience Isabella decided that she would indeed go travelling and find Danny. She decided at the very least to take a gap year and although she informed her parents with a heavy heart they were fully supportive and clubbed together with Aunt May to give her a round the world ticket. Suddenly this was very real and very exciting, but very scary. So she immediately started her visits to the big house to prepare herself inwardly for her journey.
First she told Raven and he reassured her of his constant supervision and support, “I’ll be the ultimate big brother Sis, constantly there, constantly vigilant, completely invisible and able to be ignored at will.”
Then she told Icarayus and Simmi over a cup of cardamom tea. They thought her plan was an excellent one and said they too would visit her from time to time and that they would wait for her return with anticipation. They made her promise that she would recount all her adventures over a large pot of cardamom tea, and that she would think of them every time she smelt cardamom. This she did, knowing that it was inevitable and that she would miss them very much.
She saw Rachel alone one sunny afternoon and sat with her in her courtyard. Rachel collected a bunch of herbs and explained to her how she could keep herself well during her travels. She pressed some of the herbs to allow Isabella to smell the scent, so she would remember which one would be good for bites, or stings. She placed others in water to make drafts that would cure upset stomachs, or headaches and she showed Isabella how to use a simple quartz crystal to remove a headache. Isabella was moved by Rachel’s care and attention and at the very end the older man arrived and filled the room with light.
“So Isabella you are off on your travels I hear. Good for you. Do you think you have everything you need?”
“I have to learn to meditate more, to make sure I can reach the portal of peace when I need to.”
“Very important and who’s going to help you to do that?”
“Astille.”
“I can think of no one better,” he said smiling, “but let me remind you of one thing peace is not a constant state, it is something that you will find and lose and have to find again. But you have made a good start knowing that is achievable, so many young people of your age don't know it exists and even if they do they seem to avoid it at all costs. If you’ll excuse us it is time for my treatment now.”
Isabella jumped up to leave, but was thinking that he didn’t really need treatment for wounds that had healed up a long time ago.
“A promise is a promise Isabella.” he said quietly, “Rachel and I made promises to one another many, many years ago which we keep to this day, not out of need, or guilt, but out of love for each other. Just like the promises people are making to you this day, and you are making to them. These bonds cannot be broken by time, or distance. Remember that when you are far away in unfamiliar places, time and distance mean nothing to us, we can be there with you in one beat of your heart. My love goes with you.”
She felt his love almost as a tangible caress that made her spine tingle as she headed off for the first of her many sessions with Astille. She climbed to the top of the house wondering if she would be there and she was, sitting patiently with a crystal light burning in the centre of the room.
Learning to meditate was hard. First Isabella had to learn to breathe from her stomach and to be content to listen to the sound and the rhythm of her breath, then she had to learn to treat her thoughts like clouds that would float into view and then out again. Some days she felt stalked by life, by plans, by disagreements and by grief. Just when she was about to give up on the whole idea she would meditate and find herself in a golden meadow, surrounded by wild flowers, listening to the sound of the sea and waking up to feel refreshed, renewed and in control of life.
Astille would paint word pictures for her to help her concentrate and she would write them down in her diary to make sure she took them with her. One of the meditations Astille would often return to was the image of a golden six pointed. Isabella told Astille of the night she had been lost in the forest and how she had seen a six pointed star above the house, which she had called her star of hope. Astille explained that starlight does indeed beam down toward the earth and bring peace, often through understanding.
When Isabella had grasped the idea of the star and felt she had a number of word pictures she could draw upon Astille asked her to hold a crystal, that had two ends to it, pointing into her left palm, and to imagine its energy entering her heart and moving throughout her body like the gold light of the star.
“It helps if you focus on the golden energy of the star, or a candle flame if you prefer. This makes it easier to visualise the healing energy of the cosmos spiralling into your body through the top of your head and filling your whole body and aura with a soft golden light that brings peace, understanding and wholeness in its wake.”
This was one of Astille’s more flaky ideas but Isabella stuck with it and although she could not actually describe the process in esoteric terms she did, on good days, feel an energy, like warm butter melting down her spine and had a sense of growing and glowing afterwards.
Astille taught her to concentrate on the colours that sometimes came and to allow them to wash over her and through her. At first this was really frustrating because when she looked for the colours they did not come. When they did they vanished in an instant and try as she might she could not stop them floating out of sight.
After a while she recognised her ‘signature colour,' as Astille called it, a bright blue, but a blue that defies description because it was bright, deep, pure and intricate all at the same time. It billowed before her and heralded in other colours. So. in time, she learnt to relax and to allow this beautiful blue to do its work and clear the path for the other colours to follow.
Some of her sessions with Astille were very long, the colours would flow, the peace would descend like a dove and she would return home filled with contentment. Other sessions were short and disappointing, she felt she would never get the hang of all this and that she would be out in India, or goodness knows where, alone and dependent on Danny, and who knows what state she might find him in. So there were good days and bad days and she did find herself taking comfort from the words of the man who said that peace was not a constant state, not that she knew who he was, or why she should take his advice, but his presence never left her.
On her very last visit to the big house she felt totally unprepared for her journey and anxious about retaining her connection with this glorious place. She felt that in the few short years she had been visiting that it had woven its way into the very core of her being and now flowed like the blood in her veins, invisible but essential to life itself.
Icarayus was waiting as she approached the gate for the last time. He held it open for her, a great big smile on his face and the dog she had been scared of sitting upright beside him, its golden fur moving in the breeze and its almond eyes fixed on her as she approached. She held out her arms to both of them and felt the tears rise and her doubts reappear. Icarayus handed her a lantern in which a small candle flame glowed brightly.
‘For your journey.:
“Thank you Icarayus, but it will never fit in my rucksack.”
He laughed.
“Of course not. But you will always carry the flame in your hear for you are indeed a lantern Isabella. A beautiful lantern made from stain glass that shines brightly with the light that you carry within. Go with our blessings and our love, remember we are all just a heartbeat away.” He had tears in his eyes as he caressed her one last time. “Hurry back and tell us all about it when your adventure is done.”
She turned away embarrassed by his emotions and moved purposefully through the gate. She heard the gates clang shut behind her and she felt a jolt of fear in her heart and as she turned for one last look Icarayus was nowhere to be seen. In his place all the images on the gates shone with a new light, a light that said, “You are part of this place, you cannot be otherwise, however far you travel we are with you.” Her fear dissipated in an instant and joy took its place.
